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Lucy - Learning to Lose Control


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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/22/2019 at 3:56 PM, Alfresco said:

@gldenwetgoose, Lucy sounds like a great character with lots of potential.  I hope to read more chapters soon.   She is just the type of girl I would like to meet.

Thanks @Alfresco - You'll know more than anyone how much of a boost a single line of feedback can give.

She certainly is a character, and there are a good few chapters to come.  I do fear they may be too long when posted but that's for the reader to decide.

Lucy is based on two real people I've known, rolled into one. The second person in real life definitely isn't into pee unfortunately, but gives Lucy her strength of opinions. The other person gives her a sense of adventure and trying anything once. All of Lucy's exploits to come are based either on snippets and anecdotes I've heard, mostly developments of one line comments and some are pure 'would love to see this happening' imagined scenarios.

I'm not sure why I started words flowing onto paper, but once started it didn't really stop and these chapters are the result.  I think you'll like some of what's to come.

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3 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Thanks @Alfresco - You'll know more than anyone how much of a boost a single line of feedback can give.

She certainly is a character, and there are a good few chapters to come.  I do fear they may be too long when posted but that's for the reader to decide.

Lucy is based on two real people I've known, rolled into one. The second person in real life definitely isn't into pee unfortunately, but gives Lucy her strength of opinions. The other person gives her a sense of adventure and trying anything once. All of Lucy's exploits to come are based either on snippets and anecdotes I've heard, mostly developments of one line comments and some are pure 'would love to see this happening' imagined scenarios.

I'm not sure why I started words flowing onto paper, but once started it didn't really stop and these chapters are the result.  I think you'll like some of what's to come.

Yes, a line of appreciation goes a long way to making writers want to contribute (note to those out there that enjoy reading stories, always worth commenting if you like them).

No such thing as too long.   Longer usually means more background and more detail and that to me is good.  If some readers prefer short stories, then they may choose to skip the longer stories, but in my opinion, that is their loss. 

Characters based on people in real life always have more depth and meaning, so that is cool.   I do look forward to the rest of the story.

 

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  • 3 years later...
  • 3 months later...

Chapter One was lovely. I am a person who loves being physically close to other people….well as much as they will let me.  I think it is the best thing about being a human, that feeling of connecting with others within their personal space, and experiencing their unique energy.  I love how he was lost in her eyes, somehow drawn into another reality for a moment, until he realised and apologised. 

This is a beautiful piece of writing:

“She stepped forwards, put her hands around him and this time it was her that gave him a long and lingering passionate kiss. As they kissed time again seemed to pass in slow motion until without warning she suddenly pulled away, winked at him and said “I’ve really got to go, I’ll see you tomorrow”. The moment was over as quickly as it had begun.”

I think it is so important to include this type of romance in the story at the start.  And because it is a kind of forbidden romance….an instructor and a student, it is so much more enticing too. Kisses are the best… that feeling of someone letting their guard down, giving themselves to you in that moment, forgetting about the world and restrictions, like a mini paradise or the start of an adventure of many possibilities. The unexpectedness of it adds to the passion. This is why everyone remembers their first kiss. And everyone kisses differently. Wouldn’t it be nice if all the world could be a little more European and include kissing as a viable way to greet someone. 💋💖

Chapter Two. What a descriptive story. I could really see and hear everything she went through. Amazing to see a bloke writing about it from a female perspective though. Kupar’s right….your writing is masterful, beautiful and descriptive. 

I like:
“Eventually as her pee stopped Lucy took a huge breath and exhaled deeply. She’d almost been hyperventilating from the moment she stepped into the house - now she breathed deeply and it almost felt like she’d had been on the edge of a mini orgasm, it felt so good to be free of that pain in her bladder and to expel all that hot golden pee.”

This is so spot-on. I know if I get to desperation level 8 or 9 I do the shallow breathing, and my thoughts just stop….all that is on my mind is relief and how to get it. I can’t function, can’t talk, can’t work, and most certainly can’t drive. It just becomes “survival mode”. And the wonderful reward that your body give you once you have released the pee is just so divine. Yes, I would compare it to mini orgasm. Why doesn’t everyone feel this, I wonder? Maybe they just don’t talk about it? 
 

Chapter three:

“They’d spent almost an hour sat in her old battered Toyota car discussing the situation, planning  times when they could see each other, and kissing. Lots of kissing”

Nice. 💖

I also like:

“Maybe her mind was forming an new association between the incredible blast of her seduction and first passionate kiss with Steve and all the familiar feelings of desperation followed by the blissful feelings of finally releasing her pee.

Whatever it was, it felt amazing, like a drug it had her gripped and she wanted to learn more.”

Deep feelings are the best fuel for experiencing life at its most intense and memorable. And those ups and downs of dire desperation followed by blissful release. “Blissful” is such a perfect word. It is interesting to compare the feeling of falling in love with someone….that desperate need to be close to them, and the blissful feeling when they respond positively, to feeling desperate for a pee, and the reward of release and how heavenly it feels. Especially if the relationship is forbidden, especially if you are peeing somewhere you shouldn’t. It’s all delicious. 

 I can tell you write from the heart and I look forward to reading more. 💚💚💚

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There are times here when the little Trophy, Heart or Hug icons are so inadequate  - like this.

I don't want to turn this into one of those circular 'thank you, no thank YOU' conversations.   What I will say instead is thank you from the bottom of my heart for all who've given their appreciation and feedback on any of my fiction.  It means far more than you can imagine to know it's appreciated.

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2 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

There are times here when the little Trophy, Heart or Hug icons are so inadequate  - like this.

I don't want to turn this into one of those circular 'thank you, no thank YOU' conversations.   What I will say instead is thank you from the bottom of my heart for all who've given their appreciation and feedback on any of my fiction.  It means far more than you can imagine to know it's appreciated.

You are so welcome, and I am only at the start of my Goose stories journey, so, get ready for more 💚 for your words.

 

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