Blackinksoul30

My monthly started on the 22nd. It was pretty rough this time. 😞

12 hours ago, 2prnot2p said:

I agree.  There is nothing wrong with married women having male friends or vice versa.  I dated a woman in the late 1990's whose best friend was a guy.  But, he was a "buddy."  What @Blackinksoul30 is seeking is a much more emotional relationship.  That intimacy should be reserved only for one's spouse.

What makes you feel like i am seeking a more emotional relationship? In your opinion what is the difference between having a male friend or a emotional relationship. I don't really see in any post where i am seeking an 'emotional relationship'. 

Photo I saw from a fan that was at the show last night!!! Awwww my two favorite singers sang together!!! My girl crush and my guy crush. Too pretty! 

Oh i know... i understand and agree that it is the truth... realizing it... that's what i feel is disturbing... but it's better to know exactly how these men are and what their motives are and know to avoid them. 

I agree..... and reading this...kinda made my stomach turn... personally to me..... it's creepy... and disturbing... 

1 minute ago, steve25805 said:

My problem - from your point of view - is that my natural inclination is to try and help someone with any kind of issues, insecurities, upsets, or whatever.

But I respect the fact that this is not what you want with any interaction with any of us. I will always remember and respect that going forwards.

 

I think the reason why i've had some of these psychologist men comes to me and try to be my 'Friend'... i'm referring to these extreme psychologist men... 

they see my posts about wanting a friend. that i'm disabled and my husband works a lot. (happily married but he works a lot). They see that as a red flag that i must have a lot of problems that need to be 'fixed' and they see me as an opportunity. 

2 minutes ago, owlman76 said:

ok sorry, I'll leave you with it then

 

I'm really sorry if my original post confused you. I want to talk to a guy about the same things i'd talk to a female about. Gossip, celebrities, the 80's, what they love to cook. Maybe a lil bit of venting about our lives but making that the main focus isn't the friendship i'm wanting to seek. It's never been the kind of friendship i've wanted. I was just saying that i tend to fall into that trap that some of those kinds of men come to me...  talking about my problems actually makes me feel worse. and these kind of men really do try to drag your problems out of you. even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. and i know and i have known for a married woman that that's just... pushing a boundary... maybe not for all married woman but for me. 

3 minutes ago, owlman76 said:

Which is what I was trying to say, yes I understand it all and yes I could offer you advice, but if you just wanted someone to talk to who did understand where you're coming from then fine, that was all.

Right but i'm not really looking for advice. Like i said I'm not looking for someone to 'fix' me. I'm not looking for someone to help 'work out my problems'. I don't want to talk about my problems. I pretty much spent the main original post complaining about these type of men. The whole post was about how I don't want this type of friend and now i know to avoid them. I didn't make the post because i'm seeking that type of friend. I made that post because men like that make me feel uncomfortable and now i've learned how those men are and i want to avoid them like the plague. I just want a casual friend that I can talk to about happy stuff as well. That i can talk to about how they are doing. That i can talk to about music, movies, games, tv shows, weather, food etc. I am not seeking 'advice' for my problems. I actually prefer not to discuss my problems. 

8 hours ago, 2prnot2p said:

Forgive me, @Blackinksoul30 , but I'll give you an honest response.

Why are you seeking male friendship online?  Why are you engaging in intimate conversations with men online?  Call me old-fashioned, but that is the role a husband should fill.  When I was married, I would have been quite concerned if my wife was looking for serious friendships with men outside of our marriage.  It's just not right.  That's just my opinion.  It can only lead to more problems. 

Have you no female friends?  If you do, those are who should be confiding in.  If not, perhaps you should try to meet some.  I know it can be difficult to make friends.  I've had a problem making male friends all of my life. 

Lastly, perhaps you'd benefit from some sort of therapy.  To be honest, I'm not a big fan of it, but it does help some people.  Maybe even you should get couples counseling.  There are free or low-cost places out there where you can get help.  A few phone calls should lead to some options.

You obviously have problems with your feelings of self-worth.  I don't know how to help you with that.  This is why I suggest professional help.  You won't get it here at Pee Fans.  I can promise you that.  That goes for any other site.  Look to yourself, not online.

Please don't be offended by my words.  I'm only trying to help, I assure you.

Call me new age but shouldn't a woman (married or single) have female friends and guy friends? My husband has no problem with me having guy friends. 

Yes i did say psychologist men asked me questions about my sex life but i wouldn't answer them. 

I do not have close female friends to hang out with or talk to on the phone. Nor instant message. I occasionally get a an email from one. 

I was in therapy... But that therapy place was supposed to set me up with a new therapist and they never called me back. They won't email me back. 

2 hours ago, owlman76 said:

@Blackinksoul, I am prepared to talk to you, and I will try and help you, because I know I can, I've had dealings with a lot of psychiatric people over the years, and consequently picked up a lot of knowledge, but the first thing you need to do is be open and honest, with yourself, and your life partner.

I have absolutely zero interest in trying to get into your panties, you live thousands of miles away from me for a start, neither do I wish to see mucky pictures of you, or discuss your sexual preferences.

I can, and will, equip you with a 'toolbox' to help you identify and overcome a lot of your issues, I have been having problems for a while, seen a lot of so called 'experts', most of whom were of very little use, until fairly recently when I met a woman who helped me drag myself out of a very dark place.

The main issue a lot of the time is that you actually set yourself up for failure, and knowing how to avoid this is key, and it works like this.

Let us imagine that you have several things to do tomorrow, so you go to bed thinking like this, ' tomorrow I shall get up, do the laundry, clean the windows, mow the lawn and clean the car' , i'm using these tasks as an example, by the way. Now when you get up you may not feel like doing everything, or something may prevent you from completing the tasks, then at the end of the day you feel a failure, and worthless, because you didn't complete the tasks. What you do is this, say to yourself, 'OK, tomorrow I think I'll do the laundry'  you get up and do it, if you still feel fine, have a coffee, then say, 'right, now I'll clean those windows' and you carry on like that, but always have a fallback, if you can't mow the lawn because it's raining, then have something else lined up, then you can say, 'ok, so I didn't mow the lawn, but I did bake some cakes', or tidied the lounge, or whatever task you carried out instead. That way you don't end the day day feeling a failure, you actually feel more positive, because, you think, 'hey, I was just going to do the laundry today, but I did that, and cleaned the windows' . Straight away you feel much better, it worked for me, and I've passed these techniques on to other people who have found them helpful too, hopefully they'll work for you too!.

If you have sexual issues, then you need to discuss these with your husband/partner, a lot of people will, on the pretext of trying to help you, probe into your sexual practices/desires as a means of gaining their own sexual gratification. Also a partner is unlikely to be happy when they discover that you have been discussing such intimate details with a complete stranger, and this in itself is likely to create more problems.

I've spoken to you once by PM, remember, we didn't discuss anything personal, or intimate, just general stuff, I don't profess to be a qualified analyst by any means, but over the years have met a lot of so called 'experts', some very good, some very bad, and some who to be brutally honest were worse than useless, I will however quite happily try and help you to identify and deal with your issues, but that is the thing, I can only help YOU, neither myself, or anyone else can wave a magic wand and make everything fine, it's something you have to do yourself, what I can do is offer you help and advice on how to get where you want to be. You may feel you are in a very dark place, but believe me, you just haven't found the lightswitch yet, hopefully, with the help of either myself or someone else who genuinely wants to help, you can stop groping blindly in the dark and find that switch, my door is always open. Best Wishes, Phil

I wasn't wanting someone to help me. I don't want a psychiatrist friend. I don't want someone to specifically discuss my problems. I don't like this kind of communication. That's why I removed this 'psychiatrist' friend from discord. These type of men do make me feel uncomfortable which is why i no longer communicate with them. I wasn't 'looking' for this type of 'friend'. I was just looking for a friend to talk to. 

Here's another blog post I wrote today...

I’d like to believe that yes, they can be friends. But it’s a struggle at times. Almost all of my friends are introverts.

Me as an extrovert: I love to talk.  I’ve always known that. I loved to talk when I was a kid. I had a habit of wanting to be the center of attention at family events. I tended to interrupt people when I was a kid. I loved the sound of my voice. If two family members were having a conversation, I’d walk over and start randomly talk about something, actually somewhat loudly.

Alone time can be boring at times. I don’t mind alone time but it probably bothers me quicker than say it would for an introvert.

I love to feel ‘included.’ And exclusion hurts like a bitch and a feeling I know very well. Exclusion has always bothered me.

I love people. I love talking to people. I’ve been known in the past to talk to my past best friends for hours. Literally hours. I can talk and talk and talk. And at the time, when I had these best friends… they also loved to talk when the friendship was going strong. I think deep down inside they were introverts but they at the time loved talking to me that they were okay with my extrovertedness… maybe.

Extroverts though, like introverts get a bad reputation….

People tend to say that extroverts only want to talk about themselves. That they are clingy. That they are annoying. That they are needy.

For an extrovert to try to befriend an introvert it’s like an uphill battle. One or the other is frequently feeling like one talks too much or barely at all. One is feeling that the other is expecting too much while the other is just being themselves. One love silence. The other it makes them uncomfortable and awkward. One avoids talking or doesn’t feel like they want to talk or need to talk to maintain a friendship the other is left feeling ignored without it.

It’s hard to be on the same page in a friendship when one is a extrovert- talkative and outgoing and their main joy in life is socializing. The other gets worn out just by working with coworkers for a few hours. It’s hard for each other to see eye to eye and understand each other.

There seems to be an uneasy shift in the world. The world seems to be made up of more introverts than extroverts. I’ve countered mostly people on social media that are introverts. That view my simple desire to communicate/talk as too much. Even wanting to talk once a week for a few minutes is way too much for the majority of people online.

I remember when I was a kid I’d talk to my stuffed animals. When my parents would be at work and I’d hide in my room away from my older brother. I’d sit my stuffed animals on my bed and have a full conversation with them.

One of the main things people say about me…to me…as me being an extrovert… ‘you only talk about yourself. You don’t ask about how other people are doing.’ Actually… that’s a lie… I know this because I do ask how people are doing. Peoples answers to me are usually brief. ‘I’ve been working’ ‘I went to the store’   I tend to try to give a follow up question about work… and they say something super brief about work… like… “yep I worked this many hours today.” They don’t tell me what they did at work. What was the best part of work? How were your co workers?  Elaborate so I have something to work with in regards to conversation. where as I…as an extroverted talkative person.. I’ll go into great detail about work or the store..what did I see? What did I buy? How did I feel shopping? How did I feel at work? I love to elaborate on my answers. Each question someone asks me turns into like a full speech from me. It’s hard to really bring this out of other people. I care… I want to know more. But the majority of the introverts in this world that I’ve been friends with… give such brief answers. When I try to probe to know more… I can’t really get much more information out of them. See as an extrovert myself… you don’t even need to ask me a question. I’ll just talk. I’ll just start blabbing about something. The majority of my friends I speak with… it takes a few questions to get them to talk more. They tend to not talk much unless I instigate it. Or they’ll say, “I don’t want to bother you with my problems.” “it’s not that important.” “I don’t really do much.” The majority of my social media friends.. are very quiet about themselves. That ends up making a friendship feel one sided and then I end up feeling like I’m coming across as ‘too intense’ or ‘too talkative’  but really what it comes down to is an extrovert trying to befriend an introvert.

People say they view me as too clingy, intense and annoying. I view them as like legit… how do you function on a daily basis if me talking a few minutes a week is too much… how do you speak to coworkers..how do you talk to family… if I’m too much for you… then what is ‘just enough’. What wouldn’t be ‘too intense’. What would be comfortable for you? Once a month communication? Once every two months? If I start to think about that.. I know the answer.. I know what happens when I leave the choice up to them when to communicate..they chose not to communicate with me at all.

Is it a sin really to keep socializing with friends? I know people say that I can’t make demands/rules in the friendship but how would the friendship look if I didn’t try? If I stopped messaging every few days? If I let people come to me… let’s see… so how many Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr friends talk to me? When I let people chose… when I distance myself… and I give them the ‘choice’  trust me..they chose not at all… they chose no communication with me… It’s not that my requests for friendship are too much.. it’s the reality in this day in age..if people have the choice between keeping any communication going..or not at all..they chose none at all. I’ve lost a LOT of best friends that way. I left it up to them and they eventually left me.

1 minute ago, speedy3471 said:

O cool. If I were writing a story I would change the story line constantly lol. Everytime a new idea pops into my head the story would change lol 

Oh yea the outline i make is simply a list of 'scene' ideas. But it's not set in stone as i write. I tend to delete a scene, add a scene, add dialog ideas. add location ideas. the outline evolves and changes as the story progresses. Now if it's a completely different plot idea i set that idea aside for a different story. I already actually have my next story plot idea written down.

1 hour ago, speedy3471 said:

Do you ever go back and change your story line?

I do not. What is written is written. Now as i'm in the process of writing the story I might change something in my 'outline' that i'm using that i've written..

4 hours ago, HammerheadPilot said:

Good job!     Do you ever go back and read it from the beginning?

I have gone back and read old stories I wrote from beginning. It's quite interesting. 🙂

So I wrote this blog post today after I had an issue with a guy online that seemed all too familiar. 

Over the past 5 or so years that I’ve had Reddit and Discord I’ve begun to discover and encounter on a few occasions a type of male personality that exists out there.

The psychologist.

These type of men all act the same way and say the same things.

They are the type of men that right off the bat within the first few days of instant messaging them ask the intense, in-depth questions.

Instead of a simple “What’s your favorite movie?’ it’s “What are you most afraid of?” “What are your desires?” “What are you wanting in life?” And it’s usually one question after another. You’re left feeling a bit taken back by the first question but you’re so intrigued by the fact that they say they care and want to help you that you fall into their spell.

They all make claims very quickly that they “want to help you.”  Not just that they want to be your friend but specifically quote “Want to help you.”

They tend to have serious straight forward tone of speaking.

They tend to say, “I’m an open book. I just want to help you. I’m here to help you. What can I do to help you?”

They also tend to say after you start discussing your personal feelings about things they’ll say, “How do you feel about that?”

If you express that the questions are a bit intense, they sometimes will claim, “But you can ask me anything.” So you feel more inclined to tell more about yourself.  Or they’ll say, “This is why people don’t talk to you. You don’t open up to people.” “Why don’t you let anyone in?” “You have trust issues don’t you?”

And when you can’t think of questions for them, they’ll ask more in-depth questions for you to answer.

If you start to become hesitant to answer they’ll say, “Aw come on… say it..it’s okay… you can tell me anything.”

They tend to be intense with their feelings for you very quickly as well within a day or two they’ll say things like, “I really care about you.” “I love you.” “I’m here for you always and forever.” They demand that you trust them. And share with them how you are really feeling from things about marriage to about if you have or want kids or not.

It’s almost text book line from line, like a script. And this isn’t a typical normal friendship. I say this because only a small percentage of men speak/act this way. I also say this because men that aren’t out to ‘get more out of a friendship.” Don’t typically start right off the bat on day one of them speaking with you by telling you to ‘tell them everything’ your deepest darkest desires. They don’t try to drag out of you your darkest secrets and fears. Typical friendship with men usually are very casual. The majority of normal friendship stay that way. The questions stay casual and they don’t get too intense, interrogative or mind/soul reflecting. This not typically how a stranger is or should be with a stranger especially a female.

When you begin to realize that it’s a one sided friendship and start to inquire about them they typically say, “I’m not important. You are.” “This is about you.” “I want to know about you.” “I’m not that interesting.” “I’m here to help you.”

But when you insist of them talking more they start to turn the tables on you, when push comes to shove they end up telling you how they feel that you really are as a person. They tell you that everyone feels this way about you. “You know what your problem is?” “Do you know why people treat you this way?”  The majority of these men also claim that they ‘don’t sugar coat things.’ And you’re left feeling extremely broken. They don’t really give you a straight forward answer on how they think you can improve. They leave you with something like, “This is your fault. You can’t blame others.”

Friendships develop over time. A stranger shouldn’t feel like they need to ‘express everything’.  Especially not to a man. Especially if the stranger is married. These men always say, “But you can ask me anything. I don’t mind talking about sex. Come on ask me.” As a way to justify their questions to you. To make you feel like it’s second nature to ask intense personal questions.

It’s not natural to express your love for someone within a day or two of instant messaging them. The goal of these men is to find out what makes you tick. And many will actually ask you this as well. They ask you deep philosophical questions so you can feel like you’re close to them. Maybe in hopes that you’ll start saying, ‘I love you’ in return.

But yes these types of men do exist. They all say the same thing. Literally, no word of a lie. It’s line for line exactly the same with these psychological probing men. It’s a complete 180 then the majority of my other friendships with men. Instead of the men talking about their work or their family life, the friendship is focused on the woman. The whole friendship revolves around the woman and she is heavily dotted on at such an early stage of the ‘friendship’ that they eventually just spill their heart about every little thing they’ve ever experienced. And I actually remember talking to these men at some point by saying, “You know what I actually don’t feel comfortable discussing that.”  It’s déjà vu when I speak with men like this. They say the same exact thing. They express the same feelings for me that the few other psychologist men have. And they all leave me with an unloading of pretty much making me feel like the whole issue is my fault. Like… “Okay your time is up… here’s your diagnosis. Goodbye.”

They are usually heavy listeners and really want you to pour your heart out. They want nothing more than to gain your trust with everything. They want you to be vulnerable. Some even say this as well, “Why won’t you let yourself be vulnerable with me?” Uh cause you’re a man I’ve only communicated with a few times. And then eventually they realize they don’t want the friendship that you want. They just want to help you because you’re a ‘Damsel in distress.’ They saw you as weak and figured you’d open up completely.

And typically when this happens to me over the last 5 years on Discord and I tell my other friends about it… the resounding response is ‘Uh…. That sounds kinda creepy.’

I'm looking for friendship not someone to strip me bare then break me down. I'm not looking for a 'helper'. I don't need rescued. I don't need someone to 'Fix' me. You don't fix female strangers that are married. Your job isn't to fix them. Your job isn't to break their spirit in hopes that you'll somehow make them a better person. It's a psychological mind trip.

18 minutes ago, peeingone said:

Do You plan on turning it into some publisher? 

No. It's not for anyone besides me. 

Even though I'm not sharing my novels with people i'm open to answering some questions about my writing. I may not be comfortable answering every question I'm asked. We'll see what people ask.

When the guy or girl pees in a cup or bucket. 

When the guy or girl are vocal.

Camera guy vocal encouragement for the girl is fine with me. Like if the girl is hesitant or nervous and he vocally encourages her to pee. I love that.

Girls supporting each other and encouraging each other to pee. (I LOVE the pee desperation video series!!!!)

Videos of guys that are extremely desperate. 

Most of the things people mentioned on this thread that they don't like.. i actually don't mind it. The only thing i'm not a huge fan of is non vocal videos...where you only hear the stream and no vocal desperation. or guys that you can tell are figidting but they don't actually moan or say that they have to go. like if you're legit about to lose it... tell me! speak up! say like.. 'oh shit i have to go so bad.'  So many guys seem to get camera shy... girls too by the way get camera shy. But there seems to be a lot more girls that record vocally desperate pee videos than guys do. 

Fellow Midwesterner here. Hi!!! 

My mom caught me when i was young... i was in that self exploration stage of self discovery... 

Movie:: Sleepless in Seattle

Song: Take On Me

Book: hmmmm not sure.

Hi! welcome!!

Very cool!!