Raven726

I'm definitely willing to conseed that my brain very well could have twisted the memory. I have no way of knowing for sure. But either way it does explain a lot about my life issues. And @Lilipee yes. I plan on bringing this up in my therapy very soon. Its difficult for me to open up about life in general let alone something as personal as this. Opening up on here was step one. It'll definitely be brought up in therapy in my next few sessions once I work up the courage. 

Not at all what I'm trying to do here. I'm not looking for sympathy or attention at all. I'm sorry if you or any one else feels that way.  I'm just dealing with something that has messed me up for a long Time. Something I can not discuss with most of my normal friends or family minus the one mentioned in this post. I simply thought this would be a good place to open up about what I've been struggling with. 

Ill start off by saying the few people on this site who know me such as @spywareonya and @nickie420wilson know a little bit about my fetish and trauma but for those who dont ill recap.

my favorite aspect of pee is women peeing on things then explaining the process of how their brain determined it an acceptable toilet substitute and if they felt guilty after.

ive also recently recovered some childhood trauma that directly caused me to be into pee. i grew up a late bloomer and also grew up disabled which caused my parents to make me have a baby sitter far longer than i needed. anyway in this recovered memory i was probably 12 or 13, my baby sitter 17 18. I had gotten up to get a drink of water. i found my baby sitter on our couch squatting over and peeing on one of the cushions she then proceeded to sit in her own puddle and masturbate. when she caught me watching her (mind i knew nothing of sex or masturbation at the time) she made me take off my cloths and sit in the puddle, she then peed on me a little, then shoved her pussy and ass in my face while touching me. i remember being terrified when i was cumming as i did not know what was happening or what the feeling was.

well i was recently talking to my best friend who happens to be the only girl outside of this site who found out about my fetish and wasn't grossed out. she also as it turns out, out of laziness has neglected a toilet most of her life so she would tell me of many things she use to pee on. we also became FWB (not so much at the moment cuz shes in a relationship though she still does tell me about things she pees on.)  anyway earlier today her and i were talking about my over all lack of sexual experience and how out of the 4 women ive slept with in my life she has been the ONLY one to make me cum.  not that the other 3 were not good i just couldnt for some reason. this is something that had puzzled me for years and the first time i slept with her and actually ejaculated i was like "wow so it is possible" then it hit me. 

maybe my inability to cum while having sex is a direct link to being so terrified the first time i came during the trauma, and maybe the reason she has been able to make me cum is because she is open with me about her peeing habits. if this is true it scares me because it puts a hinder on any future sexual partners or relationships i have, im already having a hard time finding girls who arent grossed out by the fetish. but now it almost becomes, "hello i have childhood trauma that caused a pee fetish and if you dont feed into it i wont be able to perform well sexually"

again not sure if this what it is im just putting the pieces together. it also explains why i often feel guilty about my fetish. wondering if anyone has any insight?

On 1/16/2019 at 12:19 AM, Riley said:

Peeing in the pool was one for me🤷😂

One time I had drank a ton before I got into the pool and so within a few minutes I already had to pee. I went to the bathroom and got another sip of water feeling thirsty again. This process repeated a few times until I was swimming and really needing to pee again. I really didn't want to go and pee but I really had to go so I was either getting out and using the toilet or peeing in the pool. I had a mental debate over whether it was acceptable meanwhile feeling my bladder rapidly filling tunil I finally decided that it was an ok toilet and opened the floodgates😂

Woza I love this

I hope I become one of them

You have my loyalty forever 

The offers always open.  My job often allows me to work from home. So I always welcome company to sit and chat with. Of they desire to use my house as a toilet it's just a bonus 

@spywareonya

I love our chats as well. My apologies I have been absent with work but I have not forgotten my next set of tasks. As for becoming a gold member. I am working on it. Running into a problem with my card being rejected by the UK site but I will figure it out asap and see you in there

Understood 🙂

7 hours ago, spywareonya said:

I tried to pee legs tight. I won't dare twice HAHAHAHAHAH

But if you wanna me peeing in a flowerpot, yet at MY conditions (short dress and legs spread, maybe taped from behind with all my ass out hovering over it) I do it daily, I'll definitely come up with something!!!

That would be absolutely amazing and perfect. A fantasy come true for Sure. Maybe add in some talking to the camera if you are feeling up to it. But either way fantasy come true :)

On 12/21/2017 at 6:20 PM, spywareonya said:

In fact I am quite sure kilt (or QUilt???) is  great thing.

 

For me, the fact is utterly intentional. Short dresses or skirts, no panties, and stocking. Except on my "particular week" when I wear trousers

But 24 days per month, my pussy, though hidden (hiddden... bah) under the (very short) skirt/dress, is naked, in order to pee by simply sitting to rest or tho check my phone while sitting in a town-decorative big flower pot. My attire is so short I do not even need to touch it to make it out of the way to pee. I simply position myself and relieve. When you drink gallons of tea (contraceptive pill can give hydric retention and since I love my legs smoth as they are, I drink a lot to keep them perfect) you need to pee VERY often!

 

Ok Grizz, summing up:

 backside, legs tight, naughty place

 

Stark nude? Or with skirt and stockings? Naked could be a problem, I live in town!

This would be absolutely perfect for some of the fantasies I have

Thank you for the kind word. I sent you a PM. I hope this explains why some of my older posts have less detail. As I was still shy about myself 

8 hours ago, spywareonya said:

marvellous question and complicated answer

many points...
 

my next videos will be part of the new goldmembership starting tonight, and only gold members will be able to see them. Gold membership is a little-paid Subscription, mandatory to avoid economical crisis of the forum, forcing the big bad bosses (those that handle server-band to Admin) to cull off all that coasts too much (starting with this forum, in its entirety)

talk to the Admin about that, tonight he will make the announcement about how does it work!

In the meanwhile, I have to tell you this:

I take requests here, not through PM, so people can discusse them freely

Also, preference is granted to people who show they did their best to know me, reading carefully this thread, putting likes, and answering/commenting to the written stuff. Many people started liking my pictures and thought they get away with it in half an hour. No sir, my soul lives in the written stuff. Liking and commenting THAT is the key to befriend me...

 

First off Let me say I am Defiantly interested in becoming a gold member, as i love this site and would love to help support it. 

Second i just want to say that I respect this. I myself have been on this site for years but been hiding in the shadows. mostly because i've been embarrassed about my likes. only recently i have started to come to terms with what happened to me and why i am into pee. i actually just finished making my introduction post which was partially inspired by you explaining to someone else the benefits and importance of introductions. I hope that we do become friend, not for the hope of custom videos (though that would be cool.) but more because it is nice to be in a place of like minded  people and i want to get more involved

Hello everyone. I have been a long time member, but I am often quiet. It is because up until recently I have been embarrassed of what I like. I thought it was because the specifics of what I like are a little outside the box (I will explain below) that porn can sometimes be hard to find. However I realized recently that there was something deeper that explains why I feel weird and guilty about my fetish. As i read comments in this community I see a lot of love for each other. I would like to become a bigger part of that and it has inspired me to finally tell my story. Those who read the whole thing will really understand who I am but i know it will be a lot to read so i understand if not everyone reads the whole thing.

Let me start from the beginning. My fist (or so I thought)experience with pee came when I was 15. I was hanging out with my friend, her parents were out of town. Being bad kids we stole a couple drinks from the liquor cabinet. Then being a little tipsy we decided it would be fun to skinny dip in her parents hot tub.  Keeping in mind We were both virgins at the time and while we had talked about masturbation with each other in the past. Neither of us anticipated how the combination of alcohol and seeing a real naked human for the first time would make us almost uncontrollably horny. After about 10 15 minutes in the hot tub she said "We need to talk"  We talked and agreed neither of us were ready for sex but it might be fun to touch each other.  I went first, i fingered her. It took her about 3 minutes to cum. Then she started on me. Ill be honest, I wanted to cum as soon as her hands were on me but i held back because i wanted to impress her. She was squirming around a bit and i wasn't sure why. suddenly without warning i saw a yellow cloud escape her crotch. At that moment I came and i mean hard. She looked down and became embarrassed. she told me she had been trying to hold it til i was done but literally had to go so bad she couldn't hold it anymore. I told her it was okay. but was to embarrassed myself to admit i liked it. Now for years I thought this was why I liked pee. It turns out I was wrong though this incident did help shape my most preferred type of pee, there was more to my story.

Flash forward to last year i was in therapy for some things and well i had a recovered memory experience. i was 12 (3 years before the hot tub) My parents hired a baby sitter as they still didn't trust me home alone. this was the only day i had this baby sitter as my grandmother usually did the babysitting but was on vacation. I had barely hit puberty at this point. My baby sitter was 17 blonde and attractive.  She had put me to bed about an hour earlier. I had gotten up to get a glass of water. As i entered the living room as I got closer i realized she was squatting on the couch and peeing on the cushion. she caught me watching her. she became nervous and angry. I must have had a noticeable boner because she made a crewed comment about it. I remember telling her i had no idea why my penis was hard as i knew nothing about sex at the time. She said she would show me why  penis was hard. she made me take off my cloths and sit in her pee puddle. She then proceeded to give me head til i came in her mouth. She then flipped the cushion and put me back to bed. She told me if i ever told anyone what happened there would be consequences. I must have blocked this out for years. looking back on it, i do find it hot but i also still feel the terrified and confused feelings i felt back then before i knew anything. Atr the ime i did not understand what was happening.

 Now to get into what i like. There are two primary things i like. the fist is weirdly specific. I like it when a woman pees on something she shouldn't to avoid an accident because there is no other choice. but it goes deeper than that. the biggest turn on for me with this is the internal struggle within the woman's head, that goes back and forth knowing she shouldn't do it til eventually she has to go so bad that her brain twists to make her think the item is an acceptable toilet. as you'd imagine this works much better as written stories. If it were a video there would have to be a lot of talking to the camera and is very hard to find. in fact over the years I've only found a hand full of videos that even come close.  now as for items obviously the common ones work carpets, couches, swimming pools, potted plants. however the more chance the item could be ruined or hold statement to someone close to the portraiture  the better, this also intensifies the internal struggle leading up to the act. in this case things like antique rugs or an urn (i know that's pushing it) is the holy grail. in addition to knowing the internal struggle that leads up to the act i also like to know how the woman feels during and after. Does she feel remorse? that sort of thing. As you can imagine porn for this is hard to find so if any ladies have stories like this or anyone has links to videos Id defiantly welcome them either in the comments or DM. Id also be open to talking to anyone open to making custom videos.  However if not its fine I'm just glad i can finally share this with you.

The second thing i like is similar same premise and item set except this time the woman does the act purely because she is too lazy to go all the way to the bathroom. This is much easier to find porn.

until now i have told a handful of people about my fetish but i have only ever explained it to one person as in depth as i am explaining it to you all. to my surprise she is a gold mine (no pun intended) for the second thing i like. I've never met a girl this lazy about going to the bathroom its amazing and luckily we have a very intimate friendship and she has no problem sharing with me when she does this. I've seen her go in person once on her bedroom carpet when i was down at her house. but every few days ill get txts "You'll never guess what i did". i even got a few txts after the last time she was at my house. one reading "I may have left a yellow stain at the foot of your bed in the middle of the night" and the other explaining that while she was IN my bathroom literally  2 feet away from a toilet. she found it more convenient to go on my bathroom rug. (an ultimate and beautiful act of laziness)

In closing to those of you who stuck this out, i hope this helps explain who i am. and i thank you for having such an open community where i can feel okay to tell you all my story. I hope to make some amazing friends here

Are you still talking requests? If so I'll PM you

So my favorite type of peeing is when a woman pees somewhere (indoors) that she shouldn't out of desperation  to avoid peeing her pants. Like a carpet, potted plant, urn swimming pool. Things like that. I also like knowing what goes through the womans mind during desperation to turn the item into said toilet. Do any ladies out there have stories like this they would like to share I'd appreciate it alot. Have a wonderful day

I live in Minnesota. My room mates are out of town for a few days. And I'm wondering if there are any women out there who would like the opportunity to turn my house into your own personal toilet. Willing to negotiate pay if required. And willing to provide food and conversation. 

I'd love to know more about past and custom videos