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Bad Jokes


wetmanjf

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I rang my wife last night.
'Hello luv, I've spent all my money'.
'Silly boy' she replied, 'what did you spend it on?'
'Well, you know that jewellery shop with the diamond necklace you really liked?'
'Yes!' she replied, getting all excited.

'In the pub next to that.'  

Groan[1].png

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History's top 10 times for appropriate use of the F-word
10th - "Scattered fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
7th - "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877
6th - "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
5th - "Where the fuck are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
4th - "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
3rd - "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
2nd - "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963
1st - "Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009

 

 

 

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Not really a joke but I found this funny when I first read it:-..........

There was once a young woman from Rhyll.

Used a dynamite stick for a thrill.

They found her vagina....

in North Carolina,

and one of her tits in Brazil.

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Son to father: - Dad, I just can't get a job. No one wants to take me on.

Father to son:- We all have our disappointments in life, son. And I'm speaking to mine right now! 

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Guest UnabashedUser
On 4/26/2017 at 11:21 AM, wetmanjf said:

History's top 10 times for appropriate use of the F-word
10th - "Scattered fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
7th - "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877
6th - "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
5th - "Where the fuck are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
4th - "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
3rd - "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
2nd - "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963
1st - "Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009

 

 

 

Groan[1].png

You and your fucking theater tickets -- Abe Lincoln

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