Brutus 2,206 Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Messy Piss of College Girls Jeremy is a junior in college. At the end of the summer he hugs his parents goodbye and heads to the campus 2 hours away. He arrives and moves into a nice campus apartment. As he unpacks and moves his furniture in he looks across the street and sees a very hot girl moving in that he cannot take his eyes off of. She has the face of an angel. Long curly brown hair. He walks over and says hi to her and she just says her name is Trish. She didn't seem talkative, maybe the shy type, which made him like her more. After the brief exchange he continues unpacking, periodically admiring her thick shapely legs and and ass it shakes in her tight booty shorts with each step. The first day of his economics class Jeremy takes a seat in the back. As students fill the room he is pleasantly surprised to see Trish walk in and sit up front, her tiny shorts revealing part of her ass with no underwear. He moves up behind her and strikes up conversation with her but she seems bothered by his presence. Jeremy: Hey there, neighbor. Small world, huh? Trish: Huh..? Oh...right. He figures she just has first day stress and that he'll try again later. After class he asks her where she is from in an effort to get conversation started. She quickly takes her phone out and says “sorry I have to take this” and walks away. When he enters the hallway a few seconds later he sees that she is not talking on her phone as she heads for the exit. Jeremy knows at this point that she is not interested. He thinks to himself that if he is just persistent she will warm up to him because it will prove his ambition and willingness to pursue what he wants. Surely she will admire these qualities in him. Two days later in class he sits where he did last time right behind her. She comes in with 3 other girls and they sit together in the back, killing any chance of him talking to her. Jeremy decides to make one last attempt at her and walks up to her after class before she leaves. Jeremy: Hey Trish, how about we study in the library later, I need a smart girl to help me understand this stuff. Trish: Look, dumb ass I am not interested in you. Like how stupid are you? Why would a girl like me even talk to someone like you? The kind of guys I date are leagues ahead of you so fuck off! Her friends laugh and they all leave. Jeremy goes home, feeling like shit and angered that she spoke to him so heartlessly. Same old story. Girls just do not like him and consistently belittle him. As the days go on he avoids her and tries to forget about her and the whole incident. 3 weeks into the semester his friend Seth is planning a party at his off campus apartment building, complete with a pool. Seth tells him that many hot girls will be there, including the hot girl across the street from Jeremy. He begins thinking about how he could stick it to her at the party. Maybe push her in the pool or slip a laxative in her drink. Or maybe catch her naked somehow. His mind ponders... Jeremy: Wait. Trish will be there? Seth: Yeah, yeah thats her name. Heard she dissed you mad dirty, bro. These ho's got no respect. That's why I fuck em and chuck em!! She might change her mind with a few beers in her system!! You should come J man. Jeremy: Hey Seth...I have an idea. How do you feel about hiding a camera in the bathroom to your apartment? We can catch some nice shots of girls pussies and asses, man. Maybe it will catch that bitch, too. Then I can upload it to pornhub or something and send a link to the entire school! Seth: Dude, that's savage as FUCK!! Go get the camera! Make sure you hide it good tho, I aint getting busted if they find that shit. The night of the party, Jeremy comes over and installs the camera perfectly. In just a few hours, girls will be filmed showing their asses to the camera, especially Trish. Jeremy: Alright man its ready to record. I'm controlling it so don't worry you won't be in it. Let's record some pussies. Seth: Niiiiiice, bro!! My man Jeremy gives zero fucks up in here!! Spyin on bitches and shit!! At 9 pm the party is on and dozens of people show up, including Trish. Soon the apartment is packed with hot girls that will be drinking and pissing like horses very shortly. Jeremy looks on as people are making out, dancing, drinking and smoking, too shy to get in on the action himself. He also kept a close eye as girls used the bathroom, making sure to trigger the camera to record with an app on his phone, ensuring no men are in the film. At the end of the night at 1 am, as most people are drunk and high, he sneaks into the bathroom, retrieves the camera and heads home to check the recordings. He transfers the file to his laptop and gets ready, hoping he will see Trish so that the entire internet can also see her. Jeremy had no idea what the camera had captured. He saw all 22 girls there piss on camera. They all pissed forcefully and long, their bladders filled with alcohol. But 7 women in particular stood out in their drunken visits to the toilet. The 1st one of interest was a thin blonde. She comes in and hovers over the toilet and lets loose a thin but incredibly strong and focused stream that lasted for 23 seconds. Instead of slowly weakening, her stream finished in spurts, stopping and starting in quick bursts. Her tampon string hung below her pussy and got soaked under her pee. It stopped instantly, no stray drips. She hikes her jeans up, flushes and leaves. The 2nd one, a short haired, curvy big chested Gothic brunette with face piercings, heavy black makeup, dressed in tight black leggings, flips flops and a black tank top exposing her stomach comes in holding her crotch and a bottle of beer in the other hand. She yanks her leggings down fast, aims her big round ass at the toilet and fires an inhuman gush of piss into the toilet. The pressure behind it makes it bounce against the porcelain and out of the toilet. Drops of piss are seen flying up onto the seat. After 18 seconds it stops. She moans in relief, pulls her leggings up tightly until they are wedged deep in her ass, turns her head to the side and spits a loogie on the wall. She then sticks her hand down the back of her pants and digs in her ass to reposition her thong. She takes the last sips of the beer and drops the bottle on the floor and leaves without wiping, flushing or washing her hands. The 3rd one, a basketball player, a 5'11'' brunette with toned legs. She had on a white mini skirt, white tube top and sandals. She hovers high over the toilet and pees in a light trickle stream for 2 minutes and 13 seconds that eventually splits into 2 streams, one of which lands on the back rim of the toilet seat, missing the bowl. She pulls her panties up, flushes and leaves. The 4th, 5th and 6th all come in together, smoking cigarettes. The first 2 pull their jeans down, hover over the toilet at the same time back to back, asses touching and piss forcefully. The dual streams hitting the water create a loud thunderous pouring sound in the bathroom as they laugh wildly. One of them stands up, turns to the wall by the toilet, leans forward and pulls her labia up, blasting the wall with piss. It stains the white paint yellow, runs down the wall onto the floor creating a massive puddle that soaks into the carpet under her feet. The 3rd among them, a red head, lifts her skirt, aims her meaty pale white ass over the sink and pisses in it. Her pee splashes up and hits the toothbrushes resting on the sink. She leans down deep, grabs her cheeks and pulls them upward, making her piss hit the sinks knobs and the wall behind it, leaving a film of piss running along the surface of the sink and down the side to the floor. Upon finishing she wipes her pussy on the edge of the sink. The other 2 take a puff, wipe and then drop the roll of toilet tissue in the piss puddle. They toss their used tissue and still burning cigarettes in the sink and all leave giggling. The 7th was none other than Trish herself. Jeremy sits up, leans forward and turns up the sound and brightness on his screen. She came in wearing her super tight booty shorts, white flip flops and tight red sleeveless button down shirt with a folded collar. She forced the shorts off, and pulled her pink thong deep out of her flawless apple shaped ass. 2 large diamond stud piercings hung from her labia. She hovers her ass over the toilet, pulls her tampon out and throws it against the wall by the toilet. She lets free a thick yellow hissing power stream, creating a loud, deep reverberating sound in the toilet. 12 seconds in, her piercings get in the way of the stream and her piss runs down the back of her left leg and shoots far to the left, hitting hard against the seat and splattering the sink next to it. As her stray piss wreaks havoc on the fixtures, her dark colored balloon knot asshole opens up and fires a wet fart that splatters tiny droplets of shit against the back of the toilet lid. When she finishes, she sees the toilet tissue still laying in the piss puddle. She looks around for something else to wipe with and grabs the white hand towel by the sink. She rubs her pussy with it and runs it along her ass crack, leaving yellow and brown streaks on it. She folds it back up and hangs it back on the rack. She jumps up and down as she pulls hard to get her tight shorts back up, her huge ass bouncing along with her jumps and making a clapping sound. She turns around and looks at her brown splatter on the toilet and the blood running down the wall from her tampon and smiles. She stands in the mirror, fixes her breasts and shoves her hand down her shorts to adjust her camel toe and piercings being smashed against her thighs by her tight shorts. She whips her long hair back seductively and blows herself a kiss in the mirror. Trish doesn't wash the dried discharge off of her hand from her tampon or the dried piss that ran down her leg and leaves the toilet splattered with shit and unflushed. Jeremy: PORNHUB BITCH!!! 1 3 Link to post
pisslover84 8 Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 That was an incredible story I loved it Link to post
Brutus 2,206 Posted September 1, 2016 Author Share Posted September 1, 2016 That was an incredible story I loved it Thanks, glad you liked it. Link to post
Fyrman 16 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Messy Piss of College Girls Jeremy is a junior in college. At the end of the summer he hugs his parents goodbye and heads to the campus 2 hours away. He arrives and moves into a nice campus apartment. As he unpacks and moves his furniture in he looks across the street and sees a very hot girl moving in that he cannot take his eyes off of. She has the face of an angel. Long curly brown hair. He walks over and says hi to her and she just says her name is Trish. She didn't seem talkative, maybe the shy type, which made him like her more. After the brief exchange he continues unpacking, periodically admiring her thick shapely legs and and ass it shakes in her tight booty shorts with each step. The first day of his economics class Jeremy takes a seat in the back. As students fill the room he is pleasantly surprised to see Trish walk in and sit up front, her tiny shorts revealing part of her ass with no underwear. He moves up behind her and strikes up conversation with her but she seems bothered by his presence. Jeremy: Hey there, neighbor. Small world, huh? Trish: Huh..? Oh...right. He figures she just has first day stress and that he'll try again later. After class he asks her where she is from in an effort to get conversation started. She quickly takes her phone out and says “sorry I have to take this” and walks away. When he enters the hallway a few seconds later he sees that she is not talking on her phone as she heads for the exit. Jeremy knows at this point that she is not interested. He thinks to himself that if he is just persistent she will warm up to him because it will prove his ambition and willingness to pursue what he wants. Surely she will admire these qualities in him. Two days later in class he sits where he did last time right behind her. She comes in with 3 other girls and they sit together in the back, killing any chance of him talking to her. Jeremy decides to make one last attempt at her and walks up to her after class before she leaves. Jeremy: Hey Trish, how about we study in the library later, I need a smart girl to help me understand this stuff. Trish: Look, dumb ass I am not interested in you. Like how stupid are you? Why would a girl like me even talk to someone like you? The kind of guys I date are leagues ahead of you so fuck off! Her friends laugh and they all leave. Jeremy goes home, feeling like shit and angered that she spoke to him so heartlessly. Same old story. Girls just do not like him and consistently belittle him. As the days go on he avoids her and tries to forget about her and the whole incident. 3 weeks into the semester his friend Seth is planning a party at his off campus apartment building, complete with a pool. Seth tells him that many hot girls will be there, including the hot girl across the street from Jeremy. He begins thinking about how he could stick it to her at the party. Maybe push her in the pool or slip a laxative in her drink. Or maybe catch her naked somehow. His mind ponders... Jeremy: Wait. Trish will be there? Seth: Yeah, yeah thats her name. Heard she dissed you mad dirty, bro. These ho's got no respect. That's why I fuck em and chuck em!! She might change her mind with a few beers in her system!! You should come J man. Jeremy: Hey Seth...I have an idea. How do you feel about hiding a camera in the bathroom to your apartment? We can catch some nice shots of girls pussies and asses, man. Maybe it will catch that bitch, too. Then I can upload it to pornhub or something and send a link to the entire school! Seth: Dude, that's savage as FUCK!! Go get the camera! Make sure you hide it good tho, I aint getting busted if they find that shit. The night of the party, Jeremy comes over and installs the camera perfectly. In just a few hours, girls will be filmed showing their asses to the camera, especially Trish. Jeremy: Alright man its ready to record. I'm controlling it so don't worry you won't be in it. Let's record some pussies. Seth: Niiiiiice, bro!! My man Jeremy gives zero fucks up in here!! Spyin on bitches and shit!! At 9 pm the party is on and dozens of people show up, including Trish. Soon the apartment is packed with hot girls that will be drinking and pissing like horses very shortly. Jeremy looks on as people are making out, dancing, drinking and smoking, too shy to get in on the action himself. He also kept a close eye as girls used the bathroom, making sure to trigger the camera to record with an app on his phone, ensuring no men are in the film. At the end of the night at 1 am, as most people are drunk and high, he sneaks into the bathroom, retrieves the camera and heads home to check the recordings. He transfers the file to his laptop and gets ready, hoping he will see Trish so that the entire internet can also see her. Jeremy had no idea what the camera had captured. He saw all 22 girls there piss on camera. They all pissed forcefully and long, their bladders filled with alcohol. But 7 women in particular stood out in their drunken visits to the toilet. The 1st one of interest was a thin blonde. She comes in and hovers over the toilet and lets loose a thin but incredibly strong and focused stream that lasted for 23 seconds. Instead of slowly weakening, her stream finished in spurts, stopping and starting in quick bursts. Her tampon string hung below her pussy and got soaked under her pee. It stopped instantly, no stray drips. She hikes her jeans up, flushes and leaves. The 2nd one, a short haired, curvy big chested Gothic brunette with face piercings, heavy black makeup, dressed in tight black leggings, flips flops and a black tank top exposing her stomach comes in holding her crotch and a bottle of beer in the other hand. She yanks her leggings down fast, aims her big round ass at the toilet and fires an inhuman gush of piss into the toilet. The pressure behind it makes it bounce against the porcelain and out of the toilet. Drops of piss are seen flying up onto the seat. After 18 seconds it stops. She moans in relief, pulls her leggings up tightly until they are wedged deep in her ass, turns her head to the side and spits a loogie on the wall. She then sticks her hand down the back of her pants and digs in her ass to reposition her thong. She takes the last sips of the beer and drops the bottle on the floor and leaves without wiping, flushing or washing her hands. The 3rd one, a basketball player, a 5'11'' brunette with toned legs. She had on a white mini skirt, white tube top and sandals. She hovers high over the toilet and pees in a light trickle stream for 2 minutes and 13 seconds that eventually splits into 2 streams, one of which lands on the back rim of the toilet seat, missing the bowl. She pulls her panties up, flushes and leaves. The 4th, 5th and 6th all come in together, smoking cigarettes. The first 2 pull their jeans down, hover over the toilet at the same time back to back, asses touching and piss forcefully. The dual streams hitting the water create a loud thunderous pouring sound in the bathroom as they laugh wildly. One of them stands up, turns to the wall by the toilet, leans forward and pulls her labia up, blasting the wall with piss. It stains the white paint yellow, runs down the wall onto the floor creating a massive puddle that soaks into the carpet under her feet. The 3rd among them, a red head, lifts her skirt, aims her meaty pale white ass over the sink and pisses in it. Her pee splashes up and hits the toothbrushes resting on the sink. She leans down deep, grabs her cheeks and pulls them upward, making her piss hit the sinks knobs and the wall behind it, leaving a film of piss running along the surface of the sink and down the side to the floor. Upon finishing she wipes her pussy on the edge of the sink. The other 2 take a puff, wipe and then drop the roll of toilet tissue in the piss puddle. They toss their used tissue and still burning cigarettes in the sink and all leave giggling. The 7th was none other than Trish herself. Jeremy sits up, leans forward and turns up the sound and brightness on his screen. She came in wearing her super tight booty shorts, white flip flops and tight red sleeveless button down shirt with a folded collar. She forced the shorts off, and pulled her pink thong deep out of her flawless apple shaped ass. 2 large diamond stud piercings hung from her labia. She hovers her ass over the toilet, pulls her tampon out and throws it against the wall by the toilet. She lets free a thick yellow hissing power stream, creating a loud, deep reverberating sound in the toilet. 12 seconds in, her piercings get in the way of the stream and her piss runs down the back of her left leg and shoots far to the left, hitting hard against the seat and splattering the sink next to it. As her stray piss wreaks havoc on the fixtures, her dark colored balloon knot asshole opens up and fires a wet fart that splatters tiny droplets of shit against the back of the toilet lid. When she finishes, she sees the toilet tissue still laying in the piss puddle. She looks around for something else to wipe with and grabs the white hand towel by the sink. She rubs her pussy with it and runs it along her ass crack, leaving yellow and brown streaks on it. She folds it back up and hangs it back on the rack. She jumps up and down as she pulls hard to get her tight shorts back up, her huge ass bouncing along with her jumps and making a clapping sound. She turns around and looks at her brown splatter on the toilet and the blood running down the wall from her tampon and smiles. She stands in the mirror, fixes her breasts and shoves her hand down her shorts to adjust her camel toe and piercings being smashed against her thighs by her tight shorts. She whips her long hair back seductively and blows herself a kiss in the mirror. Trish doesn't wash the dried discharge off of her hand from her tampon or the dried piss that ran down her leg and leaves the toilet splattered with shit and unflushed. Jeremy: PORNHUB BITCH!!! Yes, great story loved it all. Except the scat part at the end. I'm not a fan of scat in any way shape or form. Link to post
Brutus 2,206 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 Yes, great story loved it all. Except the scat part at the end. I'm not a fan of scat in any way shape or form. Thanks Fryman, I appreciate you supporting my stories since I started. When it comes to scat I'm mostly neutral. I don't really seek it out but I'm not repulsed by it either. For me, pee is my preference but in general I like watching women voiding waste from urethra or anus. One important distinction though, I am not at all into scat playing, where women rub it all over themselves or eat it. That's just stupid gross to me personally. With Trish here, I added it for the specific purpose of showing just how hugely arrogant and disrespectful she is. Originally, when Jeremy saw her on film, she had a swastika on her ass. Her racism toward Jeremy being Jewish was going to be the reason for her cold words to him. I decided it was too much and scrapped it. Link to post
steve25805 126,116 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Great story and really enjoyed it, except for the used tampon bit. Not really into periods and tampons. But that's a small quibble and in terms of expressing disrespect on the part of Trish it certainly helped to emphasise that. Link to post
nopjans 1,178 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Very nice story, except for the scat parts, which are not for me. Still, I do enjoy your writing and look forward to seeing more in the future. Link to post
Brutus 2,206 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 Great story and really enjoyed it, except for the used tampon bit. Not really into periods and tampons. But that's a small quibble and in terms of expressing disrespect on the part of Trish it certainly helped to emphasise that. I've noticed a trend of people not liking certain parts of my stories. There is a disconnect between me and everyone else. I often write to include descriptions of other bodily functions and not limit it to just pee and that bothers people. I think the problem is that I am intrigued by womens toilet visit behavior in general and most readers have a very specific fetish for pee in an innocent girl being naughty way like panty peeing or something. I briefy mentioned a little poop and tampon and that seems to have partially killed it for a lot of people. So I guess I'll stop adding other stuff altogther. Link to post
steve25805 126,116 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 I've noticed a trend of people not liking certain parts of my stories. There is a disconnect between me and everyone else. I often write to include descriptions of other bodily functions and not limit it to just pee and that bothers people. I think the problem is that I am intrigued by womens toilet visit behavior in general and most readers have a very specific fetish for pee in an innocent girl being naughty way like panty peeing or something. I briefy mentioned a little poop and tampon and that seems to have partially killed it for a lot of people. So I guess I'll stop adding other stuff altogther. Your stories are great and there's something for everyone, the minor parts that are not this or that person's thing do not really detract at all and they will work for others. And you are not the only one who goes beyond the realms of pee. I myself have occasionally included some mild scat in my Wild Girl Diaries thread, for example. And have once posted a story for a friend of mine featuring girl/daddy role play (an adult role playing a girl, let's be clear about that). At some point when I am in the right mental zone I want to write a pee story incorporating BDSM. These things will not be to everyone's taste but some will love it. The response I got to the daddy story was similar to the responses here - some loved it unreservedly, others said that this or that aspect wasn't their thing but great story anyway. I shouldn't worry about such responses. Your stories are often highly original and imaginitive. I would hate to see you feel the need to rein yourself in too much. Just go wherever it takes you. And in the above story, as a piece of fiction -regardless of erotic value - all the scenes fitted perfectly. And that's the great thing about your work. On a literary level, it always works well. And there is always more than enough in there for the erotic interest of pee fans. Link to post
Brutus 2,206 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 Your stories are great and there's something for everyone, the minor parts that are not this or that person's thing do not really detract at all and they will work for others. And you are not the only one who goes beyond the realms of pee. I myself have occasionally included some mild scat in my Wild Girl Diaries thread, for example. And have once posted a story for a friend of mine featuring girl/daddy role play (an adult role playing a girl, let's be clear about that). At some point when I am in the right mental zone I want to write a pee story incorporating BDSM. These things will not be to everyone's taste but some will love it. The response I got to the daddy story was similar to the responses here - some loved it unreservedly, others said that this or that aspect wasn't their thing but great story anyway. I shouldn't worry about such responses. Your stories are often highly original and imaginitive. I would hate to see you feel the need to rein yourself in too much. Just go wherever it takes you. And in the above story, as a piece of fiction -regardless of erotic value - all the scenes fitted perfectly. And that's the great thing about your work. On a literary level, it always works well. And there is always more than enough in there for the erotic interest of pee fans. Thanks I appreciate it. You know, regardless, I like how much I have evolved since my first story. It was short and simple compared to the long complex stuff I do now. Just glad people like reading it, either way.:thumbsup: 2 Link to post
nopjans 1,178 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Just as Steve says, write what you are interested in most of all. I hesitated to say anything, because I was worried it would be interpreted as criticism. Sometimes I will see a story that is predominantly an aspect of the fetish that I am not interested in, and I will not comment at all because the story isn't meant for me. With this one there were aspects that I liked, and other parts that were not for me, and that's fine! Just making conversation :-) 1 Link to post
Fyrman 16 Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 Thanks Fryman, I appreciate you supporting my stories since I started. When it comes to scat I'm mostly neutral. I don't really seek it out but I'm not repulsed by it either. For me, pee is my preference but in general I like watching women voiding waste from urethra or anus. One important distinction though, I am not at all into scat playing, where women rub it all over themselves or eat it. That's just stupid gross to me personally. With Trish here, I added it for the specific purpose of showing just how hugely arrogant and disrespectful she is. Originally, when Jeremy saw her on film, she had a swastika on her ass. Her racism toward Jeremy being Jewish was going to be the reason for her cold words to him. I decided it was too much and scrapped it. Yes, in my opinion stay away from religion and cult/ naziism types of things. You get my drift. And for me as I said before scat in any form isn't for me. But that's just my opinion. As the others said write stories for you and your likes. Link to post
Alfresco 11,633 Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 @Brutus we are all slightly different in our likes and dislikes. you should write what you want to write and people can enjoy the bits they are into. i liked the story a lot - especially appreciating the level of detail. I would admit that I found the throwing a tampon at the wall a little extreme, but i guess it could happen and if you did install a camera in a bathroom you would get a mix of different bathroom experiences. keep writing and dont be put off. Link to post
Brutus 2,206 Posted September 4, 2016 Author Share Posted September 4, 2016 @Alfresco You are correct. You would see women do all types of nasty things they really can be pigs in total privacy. See here's the thing, I used to clean the restrooms when I worked at Burger King years ago and I can tell you on multiple occasions women had literally thrown tampons on the wall and floor and left blood spatter. Shit splattered on the seat, puddles of piss on the floor, soiled tissue all over, especially if we had to serve bus loads of high school students. 30 teen girls and 2 stalls. One even shit in the sink...The womens was ready for hazmat after they left. I wrote about a female manager leaving a disgusting mess for me to clean over in the experiences section a few months ago. Privacy combined with anonymity and a toilet that is not theirs brings out the worst in womens etiquette. With that said, I will keep writing of whatever comes to mind but it would be stupid of me to continue including things so many readers don't like. My mistake was assuming everyone here is interested in the dirtier aspects of womens restroom happenings as I am. No big deal, I can leave poop and menstrual matters out. It's not as if anyone is saying "hey man I don't like your ideas" lol. Just a few minor tweaks is all. 2 Link to post
Fire2ninja 68 Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 Hey buddy, just finished reading the story. And I must say, I think you took a lot of my advice and utilized it well in here in two scenes, that I noticed at least. This story would be a 4 1/2 stars in my opinion, as it shows just what can happen in a bathroom with a ton of drunk girls. I feel your pain about cleaning bathrooms, I did it for a few years at a grocery store, it wasn't fun at all. I've seen what your talking about, but even had to clean up their mess in the isles that magically appeared some how. The scat part wasn't overly done, it was played just right to skim over for those who don't like it, same for the tampon part. Your work has improved since the revenge story you did, and I can tell. Keep writing what comes to your mind, as some scenes won't be every ones cup of piss, but that's how you appeal to every type of audience. I've seen a few story's that had a disclaimer before a scene saying what was in the scene and to skip ahead if they didn't like what that topic, and that scene wasn't a key scene to the story either, just a scene for erotic pleasure. Might be and idea to implement? Any ways keep up the good work. 1 Link to post
Brutus 2,206 Posted September 4, 2016 Author Share Posted September 4, 2016 (edited) @Fire2ninja Disclaimers are a good idea. The only problem is that the elements of my stories are usually integrated very tightly. So making a potentially off putting part expendable enough that readers can skip past it disrupts this integration. For my writing style I think it would be better to just leave those bits out. It doesn't bother me. I keep myself on a tight leash anyway. At first, my femulsio eta stories were extreme enough that Steve let me know I was approaching a red line and risking removal. So I pulled back considerably. I would need to find a more extreme audience elsewhere for the sadistic stuff I think of. Anyway thanks for reading and commenting. I got a 4.5 out of you and that says a lot because you're tough lol.:biggrin: Edited September 4, 2016 by Guest 1 Link to post
GottaGoPee 124 Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 I enjoyed this story and I thought it was hot! :) 1 Link to post
hyde07 200 Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 Damn I wish this was real and there was actually a video of that lol Link to post
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