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Writing, then deleting, erotic stories


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I have begun, then deleted, far more 'stories' than I have posted.  And I've struggled to finish many of the ones I've posted.  

I have noticed, on PIRR that many of the writers will publish stories -- then quickly delete them.  I guess, like me, they get embarrassed, or feel a little ashamed about what they had written 

A long time ago I started writing a story about two guys in university, who were friends.  Their mother's were nuns, and their fathers incubus's (demons). They were sorcerer's (witches), and they had their slightly evil pervy side to their personality.  They would hang out in the University library watching pervy Japanese porn.  One of the boys cast a spell so that the girls at the University would use the library as their urinal -- and nobody would notice.  Except the head librarian did.  And she turned out to be a very formidable, dangerous, witch.  

I worked, and worked, on the story, then it seemed wrong somehow, and I deleted it.

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I suppose this is sort of a continuation of the "Are bad people more often into this kink" tread.  

The story I deleted really was kind of bad.  Maybe writing porn is a little dangerous, or maybe it is a little too easy to get going in the wrong direction.  I had my characters running around casting spells, and basically raping girls in the library. 

And when I started getting rid of the worst parts I realized that manipulating them into peeing in the library was kind of wrong too.

Is porn dangerous?

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I guess anyone creative has created things that they are not happy to share with the wider world.  It is part of developing, improving and finding the result you want to deliver.   Just as a potter might create a pot and then decide they are not happy with it so they squash it down and start again, or someone sketching isn’t happy with their drawing so screws it up and fires it towards the bin.

Musical composers write many pieces but only release a few whilst rest are consigned to rubbish and photographers take lots of photographs but only release the best.   Why should story writing be any different?

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There are a lot of questions you raise. I'm sure porn can be dangerous. But it isn't always. The tension between what you believe to be right or wrong and what you find yourself writing or fantasising about is a very common tension. I'm certain - no, I know - many writers (and non writers) share that feeling. I guess it's part of being human. I hope you find some comfort in that.

❤️

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I don't typically delete anything I have published, but like @Alfresco writes, there is a lot of time going into editing my stories (twice as much as writing them, I'd guess). And during editing, they may evolve. And there are cases when I don't publish everything I wrote, because my fantasy tends to start with a (sort of) realistical situation and with time the story evolves into more and more unlikely and extreme situations.

As has been mentioned by @Kupar and @gldenwetgoose, to me porn is an outflow of fantasy and it is normal that we fantasize about stuff that doesn't or shouldn't happen in real life. There are many things in my fantasies that I wouldn't want to live through in real life (or my subjects experiencing for real). It has not impacted my take on real life so far, it might even have made me more relaxed in a certain sens.

Interestingly, I often like stories that are close to real life. A little romance, an observation of a woman peeing somewhere, consensual watersports or naughty outdoors peeing. Yet I can't make myself write anything like it (I tried, with the prologue to Pee Tales - there's never been a second chapter despite so many ideas...). Instead, my stories all contain some kind of abuse by ladies peeing where they shouldn't and against the implicite will of their victims. Do I feel bad about it? Yes, sometimes I have the impression I'm promoting behavior I do not actually approve of. But it is also this tension between my emphatic and sensitive side and my faszination for strong somewhat reckless women with a kink for peeing that gives me my best orgasms...

And there seem to be other people out there who feel similar - I just noticed, surprised, that my "Tribute" series has reached "Hot" status for all for chapters on Literotica despite its action being totally wrong, morally! The softer parts of "Bunker Break" and the above mentioned Pee Tales never reached this coveted status. But don't be mistaken: the softer stories other authors published do get a much wider coverage and are read by far greater numbers of people, whilst my stories really are catering to a subset of a subset of kinklovers into pee.

So I don't think that porn per se is bad or makes people bad, but I do understand the moral scruples one might feel when writing / publishing / consuming it.

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