Do you get your sexual needs met?

[JDG 833]

24 minutes ago, DoctorDoctor said:

I am just revisiting this thread to read any new responses.

Nothing has improved in my sex life (or getting my needs met.) I am lucky to get any contact once per month. So my options are to move on from my present long-term GF or have a GF on the side. Neither are good options.

(And, being shorter than average, far from large cities, and not great looking sure isn't good for online dating).

Open to any suggestions from those of you who seem to have figured this out.

How much have you talked to your gf about it? Does she know how much you'd like to have sex? The best suggestion is just to talk about it. You also talk about stuff like how you split the bills between you and sex is equally important as that in a relationship. It can be awkward to start that conversation (I'm a bit in the same boat as I just wrote) but the only response I got was a lot of understanding. 

[DoctorDoctor 1,259]

1 hour ago, JDG said:

How much have you talked to your gf about it? Does she know how much you'd like to have sex? The best suggestion is just to talk about it. You also talk about stuff like how you split the bills between you and sex is equally important as that in a relationship. It can be awkward to start that conversation (I'm a bit in the same boat as I just wrote) but the only response I got was a lot of understanding. 

Yes, we discussed. She always says she is not interested right then. So, I try again later in the week. Maybe I try to initiate once or twice a week. She never gives a good excuse. Either she truly isn't interested in sex or she has got a guy on the side. I just cannot see how anyone has no interest in sex, even if I am offering her oral. She NEVER initiates any activity. I may get a handjob once a month.

As I said, if we split, she could try to get 1/2 my property and I am back in the dating world, I may be not even getting the handjob. LOL

 

[InOddPlaces 273]

No.

My wife has never been a sexual person, we had sex and intimacy early on in our marriage (for a small number of years) and she enjoyed it, but never took the lead. Eventually she became uninterested in it, happy to help me masturbate, but that quickly faded as well.

Married for 27 happy years, but probably 20 of those I've been satisfying myself sexually through masturbation without her.

We love each other, just don't have the sexual intimacy.

[JDG 833]

13 hours ago, DoctorDoctor said:

Yes, we discussed. She always says she is not interested right then. So, I try again later in the week. Maybe I try to initiate once or twice a week. She never gives a good excuse. Either she truly isn't interested in sex or she has got a guy on the side. I just cannot see how anyone has no interest in sex, even if I am offering her oral. She NEVER initiates any activity. I may get a handjob once a month.

As I said, if we split, she could try to get 1/2 my property and I am back in the dating world, I may be not even getting the handjob. LOL

 

The thing that worked for me is to try and initiate that kind of conversation in an absolutely non-sexual setting. Not when I'm trying to initiate sex, the "horniness" of that moment might make you blurt out certain things or speak in a certain tone which you will regret later when you're not horny anymore. If you speak to her in that moment with a certain tone, she'll likely think "what a pervert, only thinking with his dick" and doesn't want to talk about it. 

If you have the same conversation when you're not horny or trying to get laid it'll be a much smoother conversation with your probably much more mutual understanding.