👒My romantic beach holiday: 🏖how I discussed pee and other kinks with my husband and some advice if you are thinking of doing the same

[MidoriLemonade85 2,367]

Friday

Once we had done our last minute packing, and secured the house, we headed off. It was raining, but it didn’t matter. The countryside was beautiful and green. We drove down the coast and took lots of photos and videos of the rolling hills, farms and forests. 

We finally reached the seaside town where we were staying. Our first stop was the local chocolate shop! Got some goodies from there and had some icecream. Sat outside under the verandah…it was still cold and raining, but it was lovely. 

Once happily full on icecream we drove over to our beach-themed accommodation and checked in.  We brought the bags in from the car and slowly unpacked. My husband teases me about it, but I like to unpack right away and find places for things in any accommodation we stay at, so we don’t spend our whole holiday looking for stuff in bags!

My husband had had done all the driving, so he settled down to play some video games and relax. I turned the radio on, which was tuned to an old-fashioned AM station playing retro music from the 60s to the 90s. It was great, and added to the relaxing vibe of the place.

We walked down to the beach. It was cold and windy. There were dogs off the leash and a noisy remote control car! But the beach was beautiful. Then we walked back and admired all the lovely coastal holiday homes. 

My husband had printed off some “getting to know you” questions…hundreds of them! Some were silly, but some were quite deep and interesting. Here are some of the questions we used if you are interested. 
 

https://www.personalcreations.com/blog/deep-questions

https://hellorelish.com/articles/romantic-questions-to-ask-your-partner.html

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a22500573/questions-to-ask-to-get-to-know-someone/

 

Yes, we have been married for over a decade now, but there are still some things we don’t know about each other, or haven’t had time to talk about properly. We drank some wine and had a bunch of laughs doing these questions. Then ended the night with the spa bath. The bubbles were huge….it was like having a third person in the bath! 

Saturday

I did not want to get out of bed. You know the kind of nice firm hotel bed that is tucked in so firmly it feels like it is hugging you, and doesn’t want to let go? Yes, that is what it was like. But it was a sunny day, so it was time to get up and make a coffee. We had brought some cereal, so didn’t need to go out for breakfast. I logged into the wi-fi to bring up the online “kink test” I wanted my husband to do. He did it, and it gave him a list of percentages at the end, but didn’t explain what the kinks were and some we had absolutely no idea. So I brought up my next bookmark, which was an A to Z guide of kinks, which ended up being very helpful and educational as well as surprising and amusing for us both. 

https://www.kinktest.org/list-of-kinks-the-definitions-of-most-commonpopular-kinks.html

We looked at each kink and made a list of which ones appealed to us. His list was more vanilla than mine, but it was really good to see what interested us and what the possibilities are. Of course pee was one of the kinks I listed for me, but I didn’t make a big deal about it. I just said casually “yes, that’s me” as we went through the list. He is aware that I am interested in pee play, not that we have done it much, but it is not a huge surprise to him, so that made it less stressful. I did not expand on it in any more detail, but it is on the list of things to try, so that is a start! 

We also discussed boundaries. In my life before marriage I had many adventures, such as threesomes, group sex, girlfriends, and kinky sex.  My husband has a lot less experience than me. Sometimes I miss those experiences and want to do these kinds of things with him. While he may be open to a threesome with a female, anything more like group sex does not appeal to him.   So it is useful for me to have that hard boundary and not stuff up my marriage. But there are plenty of fun kinks on our list to try out. Not just pee play. And I think that is important, to focus on the whole picture,not just one thing. It was a very heartfelt conversation and I felt I could truly open up to him and talk about my past and my hopes for the future of our sex life. Because as important as kinks are, marriage and the strength of your relationship has to take priority in the end. 

We did bring some sex toys, including a little vibrator, but didn’t end up using it. We spent most of our time talking, which was the main aim of the weekend. And, though I considered some pee play in the spa bath, it did’t eventuate, but is also on our list for the future, when the time is right. I am more hopeful and optimistic about pee play now though, as it is more out in the open, and has been (briefly) discussed and is noted on our list.  I think it is important to discuss kinks, fantasies and sexual expectations with compassion and gentleness, without pressure or any kind of frustration. Your partner needs to be given time to process the information properly. 

Partners have a lot going on…health, work, tiredness. Also, engaging in pee play may change expectations in your relationship going forwards. You never know what the reactions will be. Will they like it, or will it repulse them? Our partners are not porn stars, so we can’t expect them to replicate what we see online in videos. These people are our partners for the long term and we need to be sensitive to their feelings. But honesty about kinks is likely to bring you closer together. They may surprise you. They do love you and want you to be happy. And can adjust. 

After our chat we made some lunch and headed to the games room/kitchen on the village green. We got out a battered old Trivial Pursuit and had a game of it, while sparrows dived down onto the table to take the bread bits someone had left for them.

After that, my husband was craving more ice cream, so we headed over to the chocolates shop again. It was much nicer to eat chocolate under the verandah now that it was sunny. There was a Nissan 370Z Nismo parked just outside. I was surprised to see a rather old guy hobbling over to it, and his wife getting in the passenger side. Once he carefully placed his chocolate purchases in his dream machine he reversed along the gravel, slowly and carefully, then headed up the driveway and out onto the road. Then he pressed the pedal and revved off down the main street! It was funny. 😆

We got back to the room.  There were a few more questions to do. One of them had mentioned The Five Love Languages, so I Googled that quiz and we did that one. It was interesting and we were surprised at each other’s results, but it showed we were pretty compatible with our Love Languages, which is reassuring. My top one was words of affirmation and his was physical touch. 
 

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

We finished off the getting to know you questions, some with hillarious answers from us! My husband got very keen answering the question about what he would do in a zombie apocalypse, as he is somewhat of an expert seeing as so many video games focus on them! 

We then put our jackets on to go watch the sunset on the beach. It was cold, but beautiful to see the colours of the sun as it set over the hills and reflected in the rippled puddles on the sand. We then drove to the tavern for dinner and on the way home, my husband tried to photograph the beautiful clear night sky with his phone. 

We did a bit more talking about relationship maintenance and decided that we will do Friday night date nights, but will start it as a general check in with each other regarding any issues from the week, see how each other is going, and properly listen to each other without distraction of TV or computers, and then relax into it. It is best to deal with issues when they are small rather than letting them get bigger. And then we can try out a different kink each week, if we feel like it. But we will ensure it is a no pressure environment. 
 

Sunday

Again, the bed held us tight and didn’t want to let is go, so we enjoyed a little sleep-in. After breakfast I got out our notes from our last “relationship maintenance” weekend back in December last year, where we had to discuss a lot of life issues and big decisions. We were quite satisfied to see that we have ticked off a lot of goals from that list this year and are doing ok. 

Hillariously, as we were packing our bags for checking out, my husband found some G-String (thong) underwear that had been flung behind the couch (which he threw back where he found it!).  He said he used up all the soap and very hot water to wash his hands satisfactorily afterwards! 

It was hard to say goodbye to this beautiful, peaceful place, but we had to leave. We checked out and bought some gifts from Reception to remember our stay. We drove down for a final walk on the beach, where all the surfing schools were in full swing on the waves. I enjoyed running my fingers through the soft beach sand. We then headed down to the bakery for lunch. I had a huge Nutella Choc Ripple Cheesecake Doughnut which took me half an hour to eat!   We headed to the New Age shop next door and bought some crystals. After that we headed back down to the city. 

It was a beautiful, relaxing, meaningful trip that deepened our bond and understanding of each other and was so good to reacquaint each other with who we are and what we like, going forwards. 
 

💚💚💚💚

[Ozsport 30]

Very nice and sounds like you had a nice relaxing weekend 

[gldenwetgoose 21,498]

All sounds lovely - and lots of great advice in there.   It's easy to get to that comfortable stage of trust in a relationship that we find ourselves doing our own thing in an unconnected way, and just being people living in the same house.

Personally too when it comes to our kinks and introducing others to them without them being grossed out too suddenly, I'm a firm believer in sowing a seed of thought just like you did there.   Rather than a full on 'where the hell did that come from', instead a simple "yes, that's me".  Maybe some time in the future is time for the conversation "You know, something has been ticking in the back of my mind since we did that test...."  and still that doesn't have to be over extreme. Maybe something we'd consider very benign like wanting to hold and aim him when he pees into the toilet, or something along those lines.

Glad you had what sounds like a lovely break too.

[MidoriLemonade85 2,367]

6 hours ago, Ozsport said:

Very nice and sounds like you had a nice relaxing weekend 

Would have loved to stay longer and had more time for some intimacy. And not just talking and eating chocolate. 😉

[MidoriLemonade85 2,367]

41 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

All sounds lovely - and lots of great advice in there.   It's easy to get to that comfortable stage of trust in a relationship that we find ourselves doing our own thing in an unconnected way, and just being people living in the same house.

Personally too when it comes to our kinks and introducing others to them without them being grossed out too suddenly, I'm a firm believer in sowing a seed of thought just like you did there.   Rather than a full on 'where the hell did that come from', instead a simple "yes, that's me".  Maybe some time in the future is time for the conversation "You know, something has been ticking in the back of my mind since we did that test...."  and still that doesn't have to be over extreme. Maybe something we'd consider very benign like wanting to hold and aim him when he pees into the toilet, or something along those lines.

Glad you had what sounds like a lovely break too.

Yes, Goose, ain’t that the truth. Call me idealistic but I don’t want to ever lose sight of the love that brought my husband and I together. I don’t want to be disconnected like other couples tend to get. My parents are like that!! They have taught me what NOT to do in a marriage!!

Yes, it is a good idea to start small and set the mood, like if we are having a shower together I could easily grab his cock and direct his stream and build up from there. I like that. I know there are people on this forum who would not be as patient as that and just want all sorts of extreme pee action in one go. But those of us in long term relationships know that we don’t want to stuff things up. You have to live with this person forever and they will remember things. And sometimes it takes compromise. I may not get everything I want, but I happy with even 20% of my dreams coming true. 
 

Thanks, Goose. 💞

[Kupar 13,341]

There is so much to love about this account of your weekend Midori. So much. Thanks you for sharing it with us, and being so incredibly open and honest. And you know a lot of it sounds familiar to me.

And there were things that made me smile a big smile: "he used up all the soap and very hot water to wash his hands satisfactorily afterwards!"  I guess it's fair to say that your husband does not have the 'thesauromania' kink 😉 

I am so pleased that you had such a lovely weekend with your husband.

Good luck with the date night tonight ❤️  (You know it works for me and K, though not every time. There are occasional failures, but we don't let that derail the concept, which is sound.)

[MidoriLemonade85 2,367]

1 hour ago, Kupar said:

There is so much to love about this account of your weekend Midori. So much. Thanks you for sharing it with us, and being so incredibly open and honest. And you know a lot of it sounds familiar to me.

And there were things that made me smile a big smile: "he used up all the soap and very hot water to wash his hands satisfactorily afterwards!"  I guess it's fair to say that your husband does not have the 'thesauromania' kink 😉 

I am so pleased that you had such a lovely weekend with your husband.

Good luck with the date night tonight ❤️  (You know it works for me and K, though not every time. There are occasional failures, but we don't let that derail the concept, which is sound.)

Thank you, Kupar. 💚It was everything I hoped it would be. And maybe my ideas might help others too. I am glad I can share my holiday with my dear PF friends. 
Yes, that is true! He is very far from that kink. But you can see his sense of humour coming through there!

Yes, your date nights have given me a lot of inspiration. 💚 And hope that we can try new things and keep things interesting. And yes…. Not give up! 
I am so pleased you enjoyed reading it. 💕🥰

[Scot_Lover 1,878]

@MidoriLemonade85 I’m glad you had an excellent weekend away. M and I love our nights away (last one was at a lighthouse) 

Love the way you approached and handled this, I wish more people would do the same thing, and make an effort in a relationship. 
 
Thank you for posting this, M had a few tears over your loving marriage, she also said to say thank you.

[MidoriLemonade85 2,367]

18 minutes ago, Scot_Lover said:

@MidoriLemonade85 I’m glad you had an excellent weekend away. M and I love our nights away (last one was at a lighthouse) 

Love the way you approached and handled this, I wish more people would do the same thing, and make an effort in a relationship. 
 
Thank you for posting this, M had a few tears over your loving marriage, she also said to say thank you.

Awwww 💚💚💚💚💚 hugs to M. 💞

Yes I think my marriage is rare in regards to the level of effort we put in to keep our connection alive. I NEED it though. Human connection fuels and inspires me. I need meaning and I need romance! 
So many relationships tend to go into autopilot mode. What a waste! Why spend so much energy in the beginning and let things fade away?

Love and communication are so important. As are honesty, support, trust, loyalty and respect. And kinks! And friendship! And knowing people change over time. 

[MidoriLemonade85 2,367]

28 minutes ago, Scot_Lover said:

@MidoriLemonade85 I’m glad you had an excellent weekend away. M and I love our nights away (last one was at a lighthouse) 

Love the way you approached and handled this, I wish more people would do the same thing, and make an effort in a relationship. 
 
Thank you for posting this, M had a few tears over your loving marriage, she also said to say thank you.

And yes I know how very lucky I am and I will never take him for granted. I know there are many lonely people out there and I am so fortunate to have found my lovely husband in this crazy world.

[Takashi96 1,078]

I adore this post! You did a fantastic job of invoking the ambience of romance between you and your man. It was genuinely heartwarming. 

[MidoriLemonade85 2,367]

As a follow up…

The other day I told my husband more about my pee kink. 

I drank too much sake wine…

We were discussing porn.  I asked if he had seen any watersports videos. He said he didn’t look out for it specifically. 

I asked him if he would ever try watersports, more than we have. He said maybe. I asked if he wanted to watch a PornHub link … if you are interested it was;

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5b7c7080b3be4

He found the video interesting. He was not turned off anyway!

He asked me if I pee in the shower. I replied, doesn’t everyone?

He said when he first peed on me he thought it was a little derogatory or reinforcing the me being less than him power factor or whatever.

I discussed the spiritual and loving side of worshipping someone’s pee.

I even talked about the practice of pee, stop, play, stop, pee, etc to gain pleasure and the pleasure in holding pee to near desperation.

He asked where pee play would occur, and I said bathroom…. Or kitchen! 

He said he would be happy to do it if it is something I like! Along with the other kinks we listed!

I was so honest and open with him. And I mentioned people on the forum have partners who are not into or don’t accept pee play so I am so lucky he is open or at least not repulsed by it, and willing to humour me.

Oh! And in the initial conversation I mentioned my penis envy and how I would love to hold his cock and direct his pee and he was amused by it and accepting.He is a good man and keeps surprising me!