Sneaky pee advice

[InsertName 572]

I have two porches with moderate privacy, but all the houses are packed together. I really want to piss outside sometimes but I don’t want anyone to hear me. If I sit with my pussy against the boards it will make noise as it runs below. If I sit in the grass randomly at night and try to quietly piss, I’ll look weird to any neighbors who see. I don’t have much outdoor pissing experience anyway, so I’m wondering if anyone might have any ideas to suggest. It almost makes me want to start smoking again for the excuse to be randomly out. 

[peecurious94 3,268]

If they can't see you, you would be surprised how good it feels to know your pee is audible and that people may hear you! I understand the anxiety, though. 

If you want something more subtle, try standing in a way that allows your pee to run down your leg 🙂  

[DoctorDoctor 1,391]

11 minutes ago, InsertName said:

I have two porches with moderate privacy, but all the houses are packed together. I really want to piss outside sometimes but I don’t want anyone to hear me. If I sit with my pussy against the boards it will make noise as it runs below. If I sit in the grass randomly at night and try to quietly piss, I’ll look weird to any neighbors who see. I don’t have much outdoor pissing experience anyway, so I’m wondering if anyone might have any ideas to suggest. It almost makes me want to start smoking again for the excuse to be randomly out. 

How about a short skirt with no panties.  Grab a watering can (or bucket of water and a sponge), squat down and act like you are watering a plant or cleaning a stain on the floor.  Instead, it it flow!  Nobody would question the splashing or puddle.

[InsertName 572]

1 minute ago, DoctorDoctor said:

How about a short skirt with no panties.  Grab a watering can (or bucket of water and a sponge), squat down and act like you are watering a plant or cleaning a stain on the floor.  Instead, it it flow!  Nobody would question the splashing or puddle.

Yesterday I was cleaning my gutters and hosing everything down and kicked myself for being in shorts (I don’t like wetting). So yeah, that’s a good idea. Whenever I start strategizing about it it’s getting dark out so I forget the obvious daytime solutions lol. 

[DoctorDoctor 1,391]

7 minutes ago, InsertName said:

Yesterday I was cleaning my gutters and hosing everything down and kicked myself for being in shorts (I don’t like wetting). So yeah, that’s a good idea. Whenever I start strategizing about it it’s getting dark out so I forget the obvious daytime solutions lol. 

I would say it works day or night.  At night, they may have even more trouble deciding where it is coming from (or if they do figure it out, then you have a cover story).

[InsertName 572]

3 hours ago, peecurious94 said:

try standing in a way that allows your pee to run down your leg

That’s a great idea! 

[Paulypeeps 5,287]

It does not matter what you are doing, but as long as you are doing something you can pee to your hearts content under a skirt and no one will suspect. Watering the plants, weeding, shaking the doormat.

It is worth getting used to wetting as pee running down your legs can be very discreet and can let you get away with wearing shorter skirts.

[Alfresco 11,631]

The most important thing to remember is that most of the population are not like us and would not be tuned in to what you are doing so unless you are brazen about it, they won't even notice.    As people have said here, a skirt is definitely your friend and whilst you said about looking suspect if you sat on the grass in the night, they wouldn't think anything of it if you sat on the grass in the day, so you could pee quite happily in broad daylight by, for example, sitting on the grass with a skirt around you whilst you read a book, or squatting to do weeding, even just tying your shoe laces would be enough of a distraction.   People would not expect you to be peeing in the grass when they know that you have a toilet just a few metres away, so you can totally get away with it.