Best place in a UK bus to pee?

[amzy90 65]

My gf and i are thinking of having some drinks, getting the bus into town and weeing on one of the seats on the upper deck at the back.

Where do you think the best place is where she can pee on the seat but avoid the cameras?

[James_erased 1,789]

This sounds like a great plan!

Going on the upper deck is definitely the best starting point, although I wouldn’t know what to recommend CCTV-wise, as this probably varies to some degree from bus to bus. You’ll be able to see where any cameras are mounted in the ceiling, anyway. Furthermore, there’s a greater unknown variable at play here; potential other passengers! 
 

As such, I’d say to just play it by ear and go for whichever area of seats feels best! 

Edited June 10, 2022 by James_erased
Wording.

[gldenwetgoose 21,485]

The bad news is on modern buses there will be other cameras you don’t see, apart from those very obvious ones - often something like 25 cameras covering the inside and outside of the bus. 

But the good news is they would only actually view the camera footage to investigate a crime committed on the bus or similar.  So if you enjoy your moment, as long as nobody reports you and you don’t cause too much damage, nobody’s going to send away the hard drive for analysis. 

[Sexismygod 1,782]

I'm with @gldenwetgoose ... there's a common misconception about CCTV that it's actively monitored at all times.  If this were true, they'd probably be better off if they posted staff to walk through the buses.  A walking human will see things a stationary camera never will.  The cameras are there for analysis and evidence in the event of a reported crime.  Worst case scenario is that someone reports the wet seat after you leave ... unless the camera angle can directly see you enjoying the flow & show, all they will have is a picture of the last person to sit in the reported location.

In reality, buses and trains will have wet seats all over the place after a Friday or Saturday night.  Drunk people become somewhat incontinent and things get wet.  Enjoy yourselves without creating a scene and you should be fine.

[goldenguy 35]

Get the last bus of the night & as long as you don't go too mad you'll get away with it on any seat (presuming it's a fabric seat) as it'll soak the pee up and dry overnight & not leave any visible sign.  Have done it myself on occasion on the way back from football after a midweek game.

[Paulypeeps 5,287]

Probably best to not sit by the driver, and best not to turn the stairs in to a waterfall, but apart from that just sit where you like and enjoy yourselves. There will be cameras, and as has been said you will not be able to see all of them, so you are likely to be recorded - but no one is likely to notice the wet seat(s) when you leave.

[A_AShes 538]

There are 2 cctv dead zones there. One just above the driver... the second next to back stand of the baby trolley area. If you use staying the later you have monitor opposite you with all time laps shots in some buses.

And you are next to exit...

 Those two spots allow to be faceless on record... not much help though... as next step and your are back on file.

I believe a sit just over a driver is the most private indeed with a lovely view... but  flood down is possible...

Edited June 17, 2022 by A_AShes