How subtle is subtle?

[blankfuse 55]

I've reached an interesting juncture in my relationship and I'm looking for input. Have any of you who keep your fetish a secret been found out by an SO? What gave it away? Speaking more generally, how easy is it to spot the signs?

My SO has me convinced he knows, and he's just trying to coax a confession out of me at this point. I've talked with a few members elsewhere on the site about using jokes to test the waters and I went ahead and did that. His immediate reaction came across as a playful negative, but ever since then he's brought up the subject of pee more often. Most of it is so subtle. He made a point of peeing during a phone call with me and telling me what a huge relief it was recently, though... that's what made me realize we're dancing around the issue. There's no way for me to know how he feels about it but he seems to be letting me know he knows. We don't live together and he's never seen my browsing history. I've never given him overt signs, either; never brought up peeing in a sexual context. I've never indulged in his vicinity, either. It's an interesting puzzle. 🤔

Definitely eager to see what any of you might have to say on the matter.

 

 

 

[mickymoist 3,515]

It's never come up for me as I've been single for many years going back before I even realised I was into it, I'm sure plenty of our members will have experience of this though, and may have some thoughts.  I hope it turns out positive and you get to pee play together 🙂

[Kupar 13,341]

This is such a difficult issue, because even on this site, everyone's kink / fetish manifests differently (what turns some of us on is a real turn-off, or does nothing, for others on the site), and everyone's personal situations are different, and of course SOs will be equally varied in their attitudes. That's three axes of uncertainty before you start trying to devise a way of communicating.

In my case, my wife had indulged me with the occasional golden shower on and off for a few years (though resisted my attempts to encourage her to pee in the open on walks in the coutryside) before discovering the extent of my kink and my membership of this forum. The old 'peeing sound' PeeFans chat notification went off on my phone and she said "what's that noise on your phone? It sounds like someone weeing." At which point I thought "Oh well. I'll tell her." And she just gave me a look that spoke volumes, and I knew it was going to be OK. Since then, we've been able to develop the interest further between us and try different things, but fundamentally it was OK because we've been together so long and put up with each other's strange ways. I am immensely lucky to have such a tolerant wife. She's not much bothered about what I get up to for myself, and is happy to play with me a bit from time to time even though it doesn't do a great deal for her except make her laugh (which is good anyway - I'm into the fun aspects of pee as much as the sex).

As for your situation, it's so hard to advise. But from what you have written it does look like your SO knows, and some form of honest, open talk about it is becoming inevitable. I guess picking up on that time he peed while on the phone might be one way to start a conversation: "You know that time you were on the phone and peed and told me what a relief it was? Did you do that because you thought it would tease me or turn me on?" And then see what he comes back with. Probably best done face to face so you can read his expression. There's always a risk in opening up the conversation, though, so I wonder whether you actually want to or need to know. Is the status quo acceptable to you? If so, you perhaps don't need to do anything. His curiosity might get the better of him one day and he'll ask you outright. At that point, I am reasonably sure honesty would be the best policy - but that would be your call.

Does that help at all?

[Alfresco 11,639]

Always difficult to know what to do as you don't want to ruin anything by saying something that might see your SO running for the hills or treating you negatively as a result.

Personally, my wife is fully aware of my interest in peeing.   I believe it first came about because she peed outside out of sheer desperation - this was the first time she had done that in my presence and I could not help but watch.  She said she was really sorry about having to pee outside and sorry if she was embarrassing me.   Rather than avoid the opportunity and fake embarrassment I told her that it was absolutely fine and I loved seeing her do that.   Then, over time I revealed more of my interest to her and thankfully she has been accepting, if not fully understanding.   She doesn't see what I find so interesting/attractive, about peeing, but she understands that I love it and she is willing to indulge me from time to time.   I haven't told her everything, but certainly enough that she is well aware that I love it when she pees outside, I like her to pee on me and I like to drink her pee.  She knows that I like seeing other women pee outside, but she tells me that she doesn't want to know about that.  Each stage has been a small step that has built over the years (we've been together over 25 years).   For example, one time she really needed to pee, but there was nowhere that she could squat without risking people see her and knowing what she was doing.   I suggested that if I sat on a bench next to the path and parted my legs, she could sit on my knee and lift her skirt out from under her.  She could pee between my legs and if anyone appeared, she could cut the flow and they would just think that she was sat on my knee.   She agreed to this and started peeing, but it went on my legs and soaked my trousers.  I didn't say anything and left her to continue peeing whilst I enjoyed the warm wet feeling.  When she finished and got up, she realised my legs were soaked and she said she was really sorry and why didn't I stop her?  I told her that I actually quite enjoyed it.   After that event, she has occasionally peed directly on me deliberately.  I never push her into anything she doesn't want to do, but I'm open and honest about what I like. 

So, back to your situation.....   I would suggest that you mention to your SO that you enjoyed hearing him pee whilst you were on the phone because you imagined him stood there with his dick in his hand.   Or, grab onto any subtle hint that he drops and develop it - not all out at first, but just enough to show that you are interested.  I'm sure that he is sounding you out.  I don't know what your situation is, but maybe when you are together, leave the bathroom door open when you run in to pee because you are desperate, give a deep sigh and then see what his reaction is - maybe he will come and look? Maybe he will say something like "sounds like you needed that" in which case you could reply with "oh, yes, it feels fantastic, I was absolutely bursting".   Definitely be honest and definitely try to develop it, but don't go too far in one go.  It is always easier to backtrack from a small step such as you get good feelings when you pee or when you see him pee rather than going straight in with "I've got a major pee fetish and I want you to pee in my mouth" !   You could always see what happens if you are having sex and need to pee - tell him you need to pee and see whether he encourages you in some way or whether he just says ok and lets you go off to the toilet and come back. 

[Maclir 1,060]

My first wife discovered my fetish when she found a pee magazine.  Initially she was shocked, but then she would indulge my desires - one time we had been drinking wine all evening on a beach, and on the way back to our cabin, told me she wanted me to fuck her, right there against a tree.  Half way through, she had to pee - told me what she was doing... and peed loudly and copiously while my prick was against her pussy.  At another time, we were making love - I was lying on my back, she was on top, and rubbed her pussy along my prick, and slowly leaked all over me.