Short-Form Porn.

[hentaixt 1,629]

This 1 was so simple it's dumb:

He has not used a toilet in over a decade.

His urine is 3% alcoholic by volume.

He served as a replacement beer tap during Oktoberfest.

More people have seen his penis than the actually Mona Lisa.

He is... the The Most Micturious Man in The World.

"I don't always pee in a cup, but when I do it's usually because she can't swallow fast enough to drink directly."

Tres Equis

"Stay urinating, my friends."

(Yes, I totally created a new version of the word "Micturition" just for this silly thing.......)

[hentaixt 1,629]

Ladies, this is the last time I am going to warn you, next time there will be consequences. Despite the fact they are called "gutters" DOES NOT mean you can pee in them... this is a BOWLING ALLEY!

[steve25805 126,911]

I am getting on a bit now but back in the early 70s I made a lot of money doing outrageous things as a high class call girl....

The most lucrative evening of my life was the evening I spent at this mansion, getting peed on for the pleasure of some rich men and their wives, girlfriends, and secretaries.

They all - men and women alike - found it most entertaining to pee all over me whenever they felt like it, It seemed to be a good laugh to them all. Some of the guys, and even a couple of the women, thought it most hilariously funny to pee in my face.

Still I had the last laugh when I walked away with thousands of pounds of their money in my pocket. 

It is even worth having another woman piss all over my face for the kind of money back then which was almost enough to buy my own home with. Getting repeatedly peed on for a few hours by a couple of dozen coked up, champagne swilling men and women is a small  price to pay for money like that.
 

[steve25805 126,911]

My wife and I and another colleague and his wife were enjoying a meal and a few drinks at a posh restaurant with our boss. His secretary was with him. They were known to be an item.

Well after a few too many drinks, the boss was sharing some anecdote about a co worker he knew years back who was allegedly into peeing on her boyfriends. We found this funny, but even more so when his secretary dropped him in it with this golden nugget of information - "That reminds me of the time you had me pee on you in the bath."

The boss has struggled to live down that little revelation ever since.

[steve25805 126,911]

I am a woman in my 30s and have been seeing this guy I met down the pub. And he likes to watch me piss on his bedroom carpet beside his bed. And it's his carpet so if he wants to let me do that, why not? Its more fun and less hassle than just boringly going to the bathroom. It is kind of liberating to be able to just piss on the floor without giving a shit.

I've never dated a guy who wanted me to piss on his carpet before, but there's a first time for everything I suppose. And like I said, not my carpet. So why not enjoy the naughty pleasure of doing it? It is after all rather good fun as a grown woman old enough to know better, to just squat and piss on some guy's carpet anyway

Mother would be so proud, lol.

[hentaixt 1,629]

This was almost the same joke, but it occurred to me after the last 1 I'd:

When I said you could use the alley to pee, I meant "a-l-l-E-Y" not "a-l-l-I-E"... dude that's my Mom, with your dick in her mouth, while you piss down her throat.

Don't blame me, she agreed to do it!

[hentaixt 1,629]

Sorry this thread is so random. You get inspiration for these simple little things, write them down, and then it blanks out of your mind for a while until more pop up.

 

Walked out of a shop the other day and around the corner. There at the edge of the building I was surprised to see a man peeing. He was in full stream, was not concerned. I called out in a hushed tone, "Hey! Hey, Hey?" While I pointed at hip level with one hand and nodded up with my chin. He understood without issue, turned slowly keeping his feet planted, his dick came into view as profile, then he was facing towards me directly, still in the middle of his release so the flow was strong, prominent, and very visible. I watched for several seconds before bowing my head lightly and saying, "Thank you for this display." He took away one hand to wave as he slowly turned back to his original position. Hopefully I can do the same one of these days for someone else.

 

[hentaixt 1,629]

"Thanks for the quarter, it was a real life saver."

"What're talking about?"

"Oh, Yeah... so I needed to pee. Which I did next to the jukebox. Just hitched up my skirt, shifted the ol' panties to one side, and then splashy splashy on the carpet in the corner next to the machine."

"You're Crazy! What song did you pick anyway?"
"Had to get something appropriate for the mood. Oh, there it goes-"
{Smoking in the Boys Room begins playing overhead}

"Ha! Of Course, that's so you."

[hentaixt 1,629]

I was peeing on the floor in my office the other day, when my boss came into the room.

The door swung open and I jolted my neck to look up at her, she stared down to my muff and the amber jet impacting the carpet, "Is this an approved break?" Nervously and with great trepidation, I extended one of my arms to point at my screen where the calendar notification was still on screen. "Are you almost done?" I shook my head to indicate I was not. "This is a common occurrence?" This time I nodded. "Hurry up and finish, I need to go and there's not enough room for both of us."

Once I was done, I returned to my seat. She stepped over, lifted her skirt to expose her garter-belt, and lowered her black lace thong. Sitting down with enough force to shake the desk and knock over my pencil cup, she placed her high heel across my wrist pinning it to the arm rest. Now she proceeded to, with great amplitude, splatter my office door. The stream had more intensity than my own, and because of the way I was confined; could not work and only watch. The scent was very heavy and musky, the color was at least light and not like my own. The flow lasted MINUTES, my hand went numb from the shoe digging into it with the weight of her leg. She finally abated and corrected herself, freeing my appendage. "You'll be docked~" Looking at her watch, "Sorry, you'll be provided fifteen minutes extra pay this week. Return to your duties and stop by my office before leaving tonight. I will have your time voucher prepared for you to collect."

Following her orders, I arrived directly after my shift completed. I knocked at her door and was greeted with an, "Enter NOW." I hurried inside. "The paperwork is there, but you cannot collect it until you relieve yourself on my floor in a standing position, exceeding my height in distance. I will lie on the floor next to your feet, so you can gauge the requirement." She did that and I made my best attempt, but even with multiple adjustments I could only align with her knees and short burst to her waist. Once I was spent, she reached a hand out and I assisted her to standing by me. "Return tomorrow, the voucher will still be here waiting. You will do this every day before leaving, UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT. Now remove yourself, a one-minute deduction has been submitted along with a two-minute extension." I apologized for my actions and left until morning to start my day again.

Three months have passed, I am only parallel to her chest at this point, I need that voucher, you have no idea how life would improve with just fifteen extra minutes of pay.....

[hentaixt 1,629]

I was so disappointed the other day. Walking past an alley something unusual caught my eye. Upon back-tracking I realized it was a young lady trying to relieve herself. I jokingly asked "How's it going?" but I startled her. She thought I was creeper until I handed her a pack of tissues from my purse.

Once the initial shock wore off, she began going at a rapid pace. Now that she was feeling better she jokingly replied, "Looks like you scared the piss out of me, literally!"

Her jet was so thick and fast I found myself leaning to get a better look. "You, uh, really needed that didn't you?"

"Quite, I can't use a toilet when I get like this. The force is so strong it just soaks my thighs with splash-back. Out here, I can get the distance to stay out of the blast radius!" By this time I had made it around enough to see everything, she was hairless, but the more interesting sight was the stream about the size of my pinkie moving so smoothly it had a laminar flow effect for a good twenty centimeters. I was surprised she made no effort to hide herself from the predatory gaze. She visibly concentrated and the angle rose while the distance increased significant;y, almost three times further. "Impressed?"

"That's some latent skill you need to nurture, for sure." We both laughed causing her muscles to spasm wildly and her pee to spray in abnormal ways. It went out and back while left and right, forming a loose möbius shape. When I pointed it out, she tried to follow it intentionally without success as it seems she was finally empty.

"Well, I know what I'm working on for a while. Time to master, 'INFINITE PISSING!!'" This set us laughing even harder than before as she wiped herself dry, it did not even take a single tissue. I told her I would be interested in seeing her progress and she willingly suggested we exchange cell numbers.

 

So, now that I've described a beautiful scenario for you... how was it that I ended up disappointed? The truth is I had to go too. I could have joined her, but watching got me distracted and I completely forgot until I was a block away. I ducked into an abandoned stairway to squat down. I only managed to shoot up six steps from the bottom, before it started cascading back down. It may not have been as good as her display, but I hope she'll watch me next time we meet.

Edited November 17, 2023 by hentaixt

[hentaixt 1,629]

I was caught short the other day. While teaching my English as a Second Language Class, I literally couldn't hold it. I am not averse to peeing in the classroom, as I have done it before, but that wasn't when students were present. Thankfully I was able to position myself behind the podium and from there I intentionally knocked my papers on the floor. I used this as a cover to bend down and pull up my knee-length skirt up my thighs as I stood. I sat the papers down and rearranged them, which gave me just enough time to covertly move my panties to the side. I composed myself, raised my voice a bit to mask the sound, and pissed hard into the wooden podium base. Unfortunately I didn't account for the cable hole at the back and as my stream flooded and pooled, it eventually escaped and spread across the floor. One of my students in the front row raised their hand and inquired about it. I confessed my actions, revealing that I was relieving myself actively as we spoke. The class started to chatter and then a conversation began on if this was an accepted custom and whether or not the others in the class could do the same. I explained this was not the case, however it was not uncommon to see people urinate at a secluded location in "public." We spoke of obscenity laws, exhibitionism, and other issues of decorum that might lead to legal problems if not observed. It all turned out very well in the end and was such a good learning experience for the students I'm thinking about making a part of my regular curriculum.

Edited December 11, 2023 by hentaixt

[hentaixt 1,629]

I teach a rather interesting class on learning to manage distractions and maintain focus. As a result, I have been given certain accommodations while administering tests during the semester. During the first test of the class, two weeks after the start of sessions, I take roll call, pass out the exam, and get them started. The paper has nearly 100 individual questions in a variety of formats. They have until the end of class to complete as many problems as possible and are graded both on the correct answers as well as the number attempted. Once 15 minutes have elapsed, I start taking off my clothes. I remove my suit coat and blouse, then my skirt and pantyhose. This leaves me in a bra, panties, and garter-belt. After 5 more minutes pass, I removed the garter-belt and then my bra. Once 5 more have elapsed I remove my panties leaving myself naked with only 10 minutes remaining to complete everything.

However that is just for the 1st test. During the midterms, I will strip completely naked within a few minutes of starting. I then sit down in the front of the room and begin pleasuring myself. This continues until I am moaning and using a vibrator... LOUDLY. By the final exam most students are aware of what to anticipate, so I have to throw 1 remaining curve ball. They expect that I will end up naked, however instead, I wait a random amount of time and then pace the aisle, leaning over them very closely and provocatively. Now, for the last part timing is paramount, I need to make sure no one has finished yet. My remaining distraction is to walk to the middle of the room, drop my panties, lift my skirt, and while remaining standing, take a long distance noisy, splashing piss on the floor. I always make sure to build up an extreme capacity so I can pee for over a 1 1/2 minutes. If the previous sex appeal did not sway their attention, you better believe someone urinating surely shocks them into a state of awe. Add in the range, volume, and impact to make sure everyone is bewildered and loosing concentration. Now if you were concerned that 1 "quick" 1 1/2 minute display could be ignored, I am able to do this at least 1 and more often 2 times before the class limit runs out. Even if the act does not do the trick, the effluence on the floor and the scent wafting through the air are still present. Needless to say, I usually have people take my class twice... and not just because they failed to achieve a passing grade.

Edited December 10, 2023 by hentaixt

[steve25805 126,911]

I had to hire a bed and breakfast away from home for the night. Now I am a lady that takes no shit. So when they fucked me about and ripped me off they had what was coming to them.

Turned out the lady who cooked the breakfasts was away, so all I was going to get was cheese sandwiches and a packet of crisps. No tea or coffee, just a glass of orange juice which meant no caffeine fix.  And the room with a view I was promised did indeed have a great view - of a fucking building site!!! And getting woken at 7am by the dulcet tones of a pneumatic drill really did not improve my mood. And their utter refusal the previous evening to countenance a partial refund was just compounded by that fucking rude awakening.

And anyone who knows me knows I am not a lady to be messed with. So I decided I was really going to piss them off, with the emphasis being on "piss".  So as I climbed out of bed with my usual full morning bladder, and before getting dressed, I squatted down right there beside the bed and thinking a massive "fuck you!" I deliberately pissed on their fucking carpet! I pissed loads and made a massive puddle but still had loads left when I stopped. Because I then get up onto the fucking bed and squatted in the middle of it, finishing my piss all over the sheets and hopefully ruining the mattress. 

When I left I collected their poxy cheese sandwiches, and walked out with a satisfied grin. Serves the fuckers right. Piss me off and l' will piss on your shit thinking "Fuck you!". They got what was coming to them.

 

[hentaixt 1,629]

I'm a Strong Black Female. I exude sexuality with over-sized tits and my firm bubbly ass. I can clap with no hands, BACK and FRONT!

So of course when I go, I like to make a Strong Black Spectacle. Loud Hiss, Yellow Piss, Long Arc, Spray Everywhere, Never Care.

I was out for a walk the other day, skirt barely covering my butt, under-boob bouncing so much it was like a strobe-light flashing every step. I got stuck at the cross walk, but instead of waiting, I made a dash for the median when the road cleared. I positioned myself parallel to the traffic, rolled up the skirt, hitched up and spread the v-jay, and started blasting the hose. Car coming through the intersections on either side got splash soaked with my urine, on-coming had to turn on the wipers to be able to see. I drenched several driver with their windows down, put out at least two cigs, and sent a rat dog careening about the interior while the driver panicked and tried to to swerve. I was done in about three minutes and by then the light changed. The cops would never get there in time unless they were already a block over. I dashed in a bodega, disappeared to the back and pretended to be looking at beer. I was actually drinking it (YES, I PAID! I may be nasty but I am still not a thief). I downed three fresh from the shelf, tossed the money and empty cans on the counter, flashed my ass at the check-out girl, and left. Further down the way, I felt the need build up, but wanted it to be a good one, so kept a good hold on things. I finally made it to the subway and caught my ride. I sat and teased the guy across from me, Licked my nipple, showed off my shaped bush (just a heart right now). When the next stop was announced, I took my position. I shot out hard across the car and splattered against the door, until it opened. People rushing in getting a shower of salty spray right in the face. I heard them yelling as I escaped out the back and on the platform as it pulled away. Still not quite empty, I found a hobo girl. Took her cup off the ground, dumped the money in my hand amidst expected protest. I DROWNED the cup, ruined it, paper so soaked the coating could not keep it from falling apart. Left a massive puddle right where she was sitting. When I finally finished a minute later, I reached out my hand, showing the money I still had. When she went to take it, I grabbed her hand and pulled her to standing. "Come along." She followed unsure if she was safe. I took her to a place nearby, paid for a shower and some new clothes (still used, I know they have to maintain an image). I then took her to get food and after that, some good loving the way only I can do it. I left her with $200 and a room for the night.

 

All said and done, a good deed and some good fun.

[hentaixt 1,629]

Remember, Employees are only allowed to pee on the showroom floor BEFORE or AFTER store hours. The rest of the time you are responsible for assisting the customers with their own releases.

What if we are asked to join by the patron?

Radio the on shift supervisor and get permission first. Does that make sense?

[CON2H4 671]

On 1/19/2024 at 1:42 AM, hentaixt said:

Remember, Employees are only allowed to pee on the showroom floor BEFORE or AFTER store hours. The rest of the time you are responsible for assisting the customers with their own releases.

What if we are asked to join by the patron?

Radio the on shift supervisor and get permission first. Does that make sense?

Ooh! What's the context? So intriguing. 

[hentaixt 1,629]

9 hours ago, CON2H4 said:

Ooh! What's the context? So intriguing. 

I usually leave these intentionally vague, so you can apply it to whatever you like.

However since you asked, the ideahere was something like an amusement park or "paid admission" attraction. Could also be something like an event hall for social gatherings. Basically anything where the staff would be putting everything into the patrons 1st.

Edited January 22 by hentaixt

[hentaixt 1,629]

"Excuse me, SIR! Why are you actively urinating in my dog cart?"

"Because your DOG is currently pissing on my SHOE!"

[hentaixt 1,629]

I am glad these climate activates did not read the contacts they signed. I can still rest easy knowing they are helping reduce the amount of water used when flushing the toilet. I guarantee they did not get to the part saying they would drink our piss as a way to limit trips to the bathroom though. Oh look, here comes the woman in charge of the movement now. Perfect time for her to move into her new service position under my desk.

[hentaixt 1,629]

Going to the zoo...

Going to the zoo...
Peeing in the animal pens is what I'm going to do!

Koala, Hippo, and Penguin Too...

Every creature is yellow when I go through!

[hentaixt 1,629]

"Babe? Are you awake yet?"

{muffled grumbling from another room}

"You know I can't leave for work without you pissing in the coffee pot."
{moves from kitchen to bedroom}

"Baby? Fine, I'll just piss on you until you get up."
{proceeds to lift skirt and pee across her naked breast}
"Maybe this'll wake you."

{directs stream into her open mouth until she has no more}

"Fine, but you owe me big when I get off tonight. My day's already off to a bad start."

{slams door as she leaves}

[hentaixt 1,629]

My sister and I like to have a good pee fight when we can. I have a strong jet and she has a wide spray, so I can aim and she has to "carpet bomb" me. It's really a blast (pun intended), I think we just need to stop doing them at the self checkout queue at the store. The employees always get mad, I am PRETTY SURE it is just because they can't join us.

[hentaixt 1,629]

"Waitress?"
"Yes, sir?"
"My service here has been terrible. Bring me your manager."
"I'm so sorry, they'll be right over."

"Hello, you had an issue, how may I assist you?"
"Look at my date, she has been shuffling in her seat for 20 minutes now, on full display. Not a SINGLE person has come to get her relieved."
"I' very sorry sir, we are a little understaffed this shift. I would be happy to be your personal attendant for the rest of your stay. Ma'am, I will gladly drink your urine."
"That's better, we come to this specific restaurant regularly because of how well we're treated."
"I know sir, I see you here regularly. That's why I'm willing to do this for repeat business."
"I appreciate that. Thank you for understanding. I think to make it easy, we'll both go. That way you won't have to come back for a bit."
"Understandable sir, I assume you will use my ass then?"
"He should be able to use your cooch.... for all the trouble. I hope you are thirsty, I'm going to be peeing for quite a bit since I had to wait this long."
"Sure, I am fine with that, You choose whichever hole you like, both are available. If you want, feel free to switch between them."

"Honey, have the waitress fill our cups with piss while we do our business."

[wetwulf 3,336]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking. We would like to remind all passengers that the airplane's restrooms are for number 2 only. We kindly ask that you follow the examples set by our pilots and all airline staff by using your seat cushions to relieve yourselves if necessary.

We are currently experiencing some turbulence, and as some of you can see from the growing wet spot in my seat, I am demonstrating this procedure for your safety and comfort. I assure you that it is both safe and arousing and feels quite wonderful. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding. We appreciate your attention to this matter and hope you have a comfortable flight with us.

[wetwulf 3,336]

Date: August 15, 2021

Time: 10:30 PM

Location: The Tipsy Tavern, 123 Main Street

Officer Name: Officer Smith

Badge Number: 1234

Incident Report:

On March 15, 2024, at approximately 10:30 PM, I, Officer Smith, was dispatched to The Tipsy Tavern located at 123 Main Street in response to a disturbance. Upon arrival, I was informed by the bartender that a plus-sized brunette woman had been witnessed relieving herself on the carpeted floor of the bar.

Upon further investigation, I spoke with several witnesses who confirmed that the woman had pulled down her pants and panties, squatted on the floor, and proceeded to urinate. The witnesses also reported that the bar had specific rules and regulations in place regarding restroom usage, which included peeing directly into the seat cushions provided rather than onto the floor.

Based on the witness statements, the woman's refusal to cooperate with the bar's rules (as evidenced by the dry seat on which the woman was sitting and the puddle on the floor), I issued her a citation for public indecency and disorderly conduct. She was cooperative during the citation process and was escorted out of the bar without further incident.

I am submitting this report for further review and documentation. Thank you.

Officer Smith

Badge Number: 1234

Edited April 1 by wetwulf