oliver2 3,906 Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 (@Pissingblonde is my muse) Roses are red, violets are blue / The hot tub is yellow, and that’s ‘cos of you 2 Quote Link to post
PissingBlonde 886 Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 (@oliver2 is one of my favourite mad artists 💛 ) It's Sunday and it is hard work being a muse, all that lying around naked drinking absinthe (or so I've heard)... So I will just be lazy for this first poem and do a slightly altered version of the one I already sent: Hell hath no pleasure like a woman pissed, You aimed for her heart but sprayed on her tits. 1 1 Quote Link to post
oliver2 3,906 Posted July 19, 2020 Author Share Posted July 19, 2020 (edited) (apologies to Dorothy Parker, who is, in any case, thoroughly dead and unable to object) Electric fences pain you; Rivers are damp; Wetting stains you; High squats cause cramp. In the street ain't lawful; Earth closets are old; On the carpet smells awful; You might as well hold. Edited July 19, 2020 by oliver2 Your line breaks are SO LARGE you momma can fall through the gaps, while sailing her aircraft carrier 1 1 Quote Link to post
oliver2 3,906 Posted July 19, 2020 Author Share Posted July 19, 2020 (After Eleanor Farjeon, who is at least equally dead) Peefans piss anywhere, any table, any chair. Out over the window-ledge, in the middle, on the edge. Bathtub, shower, swimming pool, any good friend's lap will do. Out at night by a parked car, in the plunge pool at the spa. Anywhere! They don't care! Peefans piss anywhere. 1 1 Quote Link to post
oliver2 3,906 Posted July 19, 2020 Author Share Posted July 19, 2020 12 hours ago, PissingBlonde said: It's Sunday and it is hard work being a muse, all that lying around naked drinking absinthe (or so I've heard)... Yes, well. At least if your muse drinks absinthe they pass out before pee-pee dancing during what was supposed to be a static pose, then pissing all over the chaise longue. Again. (It's an antique, that!). And then somehow sneaking quietly up behind me with a strap-on while I was cleaning it... 😊 1 Quote Link to post
Popular Post PissingBlonde 886 Posted July 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 22, 2020 (edited) If this breaks any copyright or bad poetry laws, I will just tell them Oliver made me do it 🙃 Shall I come share pee on a summer's day? Thou art more thirsty and dehydrated... Strong streams do soak the nipple buds of May And shower's length hath all too short a date. Sometime too hot the wine of heaven shines And often is his gold confection rimmed, Every stream from lips sometimes descends Bush shaved, or nature's Venus mound untrimmed... So as long as men can whizz, or pussies pee So long lives piss, and piss gives life to thee. - Shakes Spear to get the last few drops off X Edited July 22, 2020 by PissingBlonde 1 4 Quote Link to post
Waesserchen 14 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 I just came up with this (almost) limerick: I know a girl from Bordeaux who can pee her name in the snow. And any who'd doubt, she would show on the spot, mind you, Dorothy called herself "Dot". 1 1 1 Quote Link to post
Bacardi 9,194 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 Where do I Pee? A haiku by B. .... I pee on the floors I pee on all of the walls The toilet bores me 🚽 3 Quote Link to post
WateryMoose 275 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 (edited) I am a male from France When I need to pee I prance Whipping out my meat Spraying anything in front of it Doing so my heart beats in a trance How's that? XD Edited December 10, 2023 by WateryMoose Spelling issue 1 Quote Link to post
Carb0nBased 527 Posted December 12, 2023 Share Posted December 12, 2023 (edited) On 7/19/2020 at 11:12 AM, oliver2 said: (apologies to Dorothy Parker, who is, in any case, thoroughly dead and unable to object) Electric fences pain you; Rivers are damp; Wetting stains you; High squats cause cramp. In the street ain't lawful; Earth closets are old; On the carpet smells awful; You might as well hold. If you hadn't written the actual poets you were trying to emulate, I might have guessed that this and maybe even the next one were written by Dr. Seuss. Speaking of which: I don't like a naughty pee. Sam I am, it's not for me! Would you, could you, in the dark? Would you, could you in a park? Would you, could you, on the floor? On a shelf, or out the door? Would you pee your pants in class? would you pee out on the grass? Would you riding on the train? or would you, could you, in the rain? Would you soak a fitting room? how 'bout peeing live on Zoom? Would you soak the hotel sheets? Would you tinkle in a box of sweets? Would you squat in an elevator? or only find a restroom later? Edited December 12, 2023 by Carb0nBased 1 1 Quote Link to post
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.