Sexless marriage

[Blackinksoul30 1,246]

Me and my husband haven't made love together since February. Any advice? We've tried to rekindle the romance but we both end up giving up. It's for us to stick with a 'program' 

[speedy3471 10,655]

36 minutes ago, Blackinksoul30 said:

Me and my husband haven't made love together since February. Any advice? We've tried to rekindle the romance but we both end up giving up. It's for us to stick with a 'program' 

Awe iam sorry to hear that. Have you two tried having "date nights"?

My wife and I went thru a period were sex was bland and then we stopped. It was only for 4 weeks so not terribly long. We found just having date nights, going out for supper(that's what we western Canadians call dinner) and sending each other racy texts helped spark our relationship again.

We have been together for 10 years now. Its the little things that keep our sex lives interesting 

[Mark J 243]

56 minutes ago, Blackinksoul30 said:

Me and my husband haven't made love together since February. Any advice? We've tried to rekindle the romance but we both end up giving up. It's for us to stick with a 'program' 

Sadly I feel your pain. Sex has never been my forte. Hopefully you will receive some helpful adice/tips from these wonderful members. Best I can do is give you ***Hugs***

[bpb 788]

1 hour ago, Blackinksoul30 said:

Me and my husband haven't made love together since February. Any advice? We've tried to rekindle the romance but we both end up giving up. It's for us to stick with a 'program' 

I am so sorry to hear of this problem.

My problem runs somewhat differently.
I got to the point that I can no longer put up an erection.  This means NO intercourse with my wife.
I tried to play with her with my fingers, but she didn't seem to enjoy this, so I asked her and she told me that it didn't appeal to her.
I ask if she would accept some cunnilingus and she gave me a sharp NO!

This pretty much exhausts anything that I could do for her.  She doesn't seem to think of sex, and that is the one subject that we don't seem to be able to do a conversation on.

The only sex that I have been able to get is with some personal messenging  with a couple of females on this forum.  I have heard some very nice accounts with them.
My brain just didn't turn off.

I would be willing to give it a go with you, if you think that it would help you.

Otherwise I feel your pain!

---HUGS---

 

Edited October 22, 2018 by bpb

[Brutus 2,206]

It would help if you gave us details that lead to the current state. There can be a lot of things that need addressed that either person could've contributed to, like maybe some hurtful things said or done that haven't been resolved, old resentments that have grown, stress from work and family, age, health issues, different attitudes toward sex, boredom from the same sexual routine, feelings of neglect, feeling taken for granted, maybe one person let themselves go physically, an affair occurred, erectile dysfunction, loss of love, depression, his testosterone could be low. the list of potential reasons is endless. Maybe he feels too much pressure to perform. Also, a lot of men stop initiating because they think their wives aren't interested. Or they feel that it's too much effort to get their wives in the mood.

So many possibilities. 

What did your attempts to rekindle involve, and why did you give up?

Edited October 27, 2018 by Brutus

[Dtravis 32]

On 10/22/2018 at 12:06 PM, Blackinksoul30 said:

Me and my husband haven't made love together since February. Any advice? We've tried to rekindle the romance but we both end up giving up. It's for us to stick with a 'program' 

I have an experience from my life with not quite the same but similar situation. I don't feel like talking about it publicly as it would involve some personal details from my life I don't want to post on forums, but if you would like to talk about it 1 on 1, feel free to PM me.

Edited October 29, 2018 by Dtravis

[FlyingthedreamUK 248]

Best advice I can give is to try and find something to re energise that spark. Try to think back to times when sex together was really incredible, then try to piece the jigsaw puzzle together. There may be something that you both did or a new thing you tried... it's always a good starting point.

To keep the spark alive can be quite a challenge in long term relationships and when it starts to fade you both have to want get back to how things were.

Does you husband know about your love of things wet? Is this something that you could bring in to the bedroom if not?

Another thing is confidence, both in body and mind. If you feel good in yourself then this is also projected on to others.

As a few people above have said, try to make time for each other as well, go on date nights, do things that you both enjoy.

You'll get there, just don't give up!