Life With a Partner Who Does Not Share the Kink

[Zogan 233]

On 1/4/2024 at 2:51 AM, jorel2012 said:

I did something that worked for me. 
No guarantee that this works in other relationships as well. 
My wife knows about my fetish since the beginning of our relationship almost 20 years ago. 
After a few years she peed on me once (I just wrote about it in another thread) then nothing happened for almost a decade. 
We had lots of talks and also we went to partner therapists but we weren’t able to find a solution. 
Sex got worse because I felt there is something missing and my wife felt the pressure on her and obviously she had no fun at all then. 
So I decided for myself that this had to change. 
I said to her that we will stay married and take care of our son but I‘m not going to be in a sexual relationship with her anymore. She could stay in our house and we live a normal life but without the sex part. This part will then go to another woman. 
I explained her that in a marriage both needs are important, the need of the wife to not have sex all the time and the equal need of the husband to have his way of sexual satisfaction. If this does not work then one of the main foundations of marriage is kaputt.
I told her that I will create a tinder account and that I will be in bars at weekends to get to know new women. 
At first she was snapped and told me that she would get way more men than I get women. She also made an account at tinder and had 200 likes in the first hours where I had 20 or so. 
But not one man was good enough for her. She didn’t have a single date. 
I did though. The second weekend I told her that I’ll be late home that night because I had a date with a woman from tinder. 
Before I could leave the house she came to me and said that I shouldn’t go to that date. She doesn’t want that. 
I refused and went out. 
During my date I received a message from my wife that she feels horrible and she wants me back. 
The next day my wife asked me if we can talk this through one more time because she changed her mind. 
Long story short: We made an agreement. Sex one or two times a week including pee or anal, except when she feels uncomfortable. 
And now the funny part: Since then our relationship blossomed and is miles better than it ever was. She got used to it and even enjoys it now, that she makes me happy. 
As said, this is not the mainstream solution but it worked out for me. 
For me personally, sex is one of the main pillars where marriage stands on. 
Don’t know if this will help you but I wish you all the best and that you and your wife will find a good solution that both are happy with. 

This approach might be is not for everyone, but I tend to think in the same line. Marriage is about giving and taking and staying luckily together. 

 

[on the porch 712]

On 12/21/2023 at 7:40 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

There are a lot of people @Kirby23 who can very much relate to everything you've said - I can personally assure you that you're very much not alone.

When seeing all the amazing content, it's easy to think that everyone has an amazing piss filled sex life, or absolute freedom to have whatever fun befalls them.   But the reality is every one of us are unique, special and gifted in the different situations we find ourselves in.    Personally I think that being with someone who doesn't share our passion actually helps keep us on a level basis.  Perhaps sometimes it's easy to be jealous of others who seem to enjoy so freely?   But ultimately I think deep down every one of us knows life isn't perfect.   Finding a soul mate is a wonderful thing.   Would we ever find another?  Would they be any more open to our wet fun?

I don't have any magic answers - the love for your partner shows through in what you've written, and there's clearly a special bond.   Definitely though don't let yourself feel guilt or shame about your particular interests, or the fact that you enjoy spending time here in this outlet.  Life isn't perfect - the best thing we can do is try to make sure we keep those closest to us happy.   If this place bridges a gap then so be it.

Mr Goose ,

this is Ruth , what a beautiful way to answer the question .I feel what you said very deeply , before I met Wayne any kind of body function was looked down as dirty and just had to be done and was never talked about or even thought about . Wayne opened a door for me when we got together , I was totally ignorant about what goes on here and life in general. The very thought of me peeing in front of any one was disgusting to me , Wayne showed me how mistreated I was in my former life . I never had a orgasm in my life , sex was dirty in my former life , He made my body do things  it never has done before . And my body wanted every thing he has to offer .even now thinking of him I want him to make love to me , again,  thank you for a beautiful response to that person's question 

[xDeathSoulx 15]

I'm lucky enough that my particular version of the fetish is very visual, so porn gets me a long way. I appreciate every single chance I get to watch my girlfriend IRL, but I know she's not into it (and doesn't want to fuck up the bedsheets), so there's not much in the way of kinky sex. Honestly, though, I don't mind that much. I don't have the highest sex drive in the world anyway.

[Greek_Beast 1]

Hello 🙂

 

I just found out about that forum a couple of days ago and i have to tell that it mad me feel less weird than i though i was.

I've been married 5 years now to my wonderful wife with whom i am sonce the age of 12, I'm 29 now.

She's exactly what you describe, no fantasies at all, no desires, i always engage the sex part and I'm the one that is really curious about it and tries nearly anything. 

I opened up to her to tell her that I though I might be bi and wanted to try stuff so we did. But this is conventional kind of stuff.

About my passion on pee i wouldn't dare to talk to her about it... I had one experience about it with another woman and I absolutely loved it but I would never bring it up to my wife...

I've just accepted that there are two ways out of that. Either she someday tries new things and tries pee and likes it either i will keep doing it alone (peeing on myself) and watching content so that she doesn't know.

It's sad but I think that some people, as open minded as they can be, cannot and will not go past that pee is considered a dirty thing in our "modern" world... so I just accept it and I will try to grab whatever I can to please me from her like innocently smelling her pee when she pees in the shower or getting her to pee outdoors and peeping...

But really I'm glad I found this forum

[Ms. Tito 2,396]

My girlfriend used to be ambivalent towards it but I guess I somehow irony-poisoned her into liking it. Which is actually kinda cool because her main kink and my main kink go together quite well actually.