Not new, but I've never introduced myself!

[TheAMan 246]

I've been a member of this community for almost seven years now but I've never taken the time to formally introduce myself. So, Hi! I'm Xander, a bisexual white male in his late 20's employed as a scientist in New York State. I'm recently single with the collapse of my long-term relationship a few weeks ago, an emotionally devastating but unfortunately necessary step for the sake of our respective happiness.

I have been interested in peeing ever since I was a kid. I have memories of being curious about my mother and her friends relieving themselves while we were hiking or during other outdoor activities we engaged in when no restrooms were available. I graduated to crashing several computers in my youth with unfortunate Google searches on the early Internet that my parents and grandparents never confronted me about in a negative manner, only that I should be a little more careful. 

I thoroughly enjoy peeing outside and public peeing, and always have. I try to at least once a day, even if it's just in my own backyard or the alley. I'm deeply pee-shy, but thoroughly enjoy being around my male friends and strangers when they have to relieve themselves out of doors, and am sent into cardiac arrest if and when the opportunity to be around the women in my life, or those in the vast world around me, have to do the same. I've written a number of stories of my experiences with intimate partners, friends, and strangers over the past 15 years of my life, and I truly hope to share my experiences in a way that captures the balance of intense eroticism with such an innate and straightforward aspect of existence everyone must engage with regularly. It's been some time since I've had any sightings or experiences (roughly a year or so), but I have several I've never written about that I should put to words. Most involve my now ex-partner, so it may be some time before I can recount them without a deep sense of sadness. 

I have, and feel as if I will always experience, a deep sense of shame in regards to my proclivities. Urination, micturition is such a normal, everyday thing for every creature on the planet that to experience it in a sexual way can leave me with deep feelings of discomfort-- primarily, because I absolutely do not want to make anyone around me uncomfortable by being overtly excited about something they may experience as normal or routine waste excretion. I keep my feelings towards it very close to the chest. What may factor into it is the time my college girlfriend, after that relationship ended messily, shared my proclivities and a laundry list of times we had engaged in with my closest friends. It took me a month to overcome my embarrassment and confront them about my fetish, but in the end they didn't care, and always gave me a joking, knowing look when we would go out in the evenings and our imbibement would result in public urination, or witnessing the act. So, it's complicated for me!

 

My most recent partner would only participate when desperate, and would be deeply uncomfortable and kink-shame me for enjoying watching her in a vulnerable state. I'd love to build a relationship with someone who could at least respect how I felt and understand it's natural and outside of my control, even if they didn't experience the same pleasure I always do from the act. To find someone who would engage with the fetish as deeply and erotically as I feel about it seems like a pipe dream, but I guess you never know. Perhaps one day!

I know pretty well what I like, but am very interested in trying more overt pee sex (peeing on or being peed on as an act of intimacy) with a male or female partner as I've only very very briefly engaged in it, in the shower. I'm not actively seeking anyone at the moment as I process and mourn the last better part of a decade of my life but being human, I'm always open and interested. 

 

This forum is the one place in life I feel I can be truly and openly honest about who I really am, wholly. So many of you write beautifully and romantically about your experiences and I always enjoy the time I spend reading and writing with a community of people I know I don't have to feel embarrassed around. So, thank you to you all! 

 

Cheers,

Xander

 

[Takashi96 847]

I suppose a "welcome" doesn't make much sense when you've been here way longer than me. However, I am so happy that you're here. Your testimonial was extremely relatable and moving. This fetish can feel like an arch nemesis of the soul. And the masking can be exhausting. I also know what it's like to be kink shamed by partners and others. For me, this is the first place in the digital world (or even the physical world) where I've ever felt welcome or normal. Once again, I'm so happy that you found yourself here!

[MidoriLemonade85 1,976]

Xander, I feel like you are totally on my level. Sounds like you have had a rough time. As you know, we are a caring community.  We are always here if you need a chat. I love being my authentic self here too. Pee is very romantic and intimate and beautiful. I hope you can find someone to share it with. Otherwise, all your PF friends are here to keep you sane and supported. 💚