Confessions of a piss vandal. Part 3. Flat wrecking party

[steve25805 121,446]

 

.Well, guys, Sarah here again. And I think this time I'll tell you about the flat wrecking party I enjoyed with Barbara and a few friends when we were in our early 20s.

We knew this couple at the time who were themselves only about 25 - Doug and Julie I think their names were. They were friends of ours, but knew nothing about our naughty pleasures. Well nothing beyond what happened at their flat anyway.  And the more perceptive amongst you might already be guessing where this is going.

They were in dispute with their landlord, who'd failed to repair their broken heating system throughout the winter. So they stopped paying him rent until he did. He prioritised evicting them over repairing the heating. By now it was early spring and they'd found somewhere else to move into. But they were never going to get their deposit back, though I suppose they'd claimed it already in the form of unpaid rent. But they were feeling highly aggrieved at having had to endure a very uncomfortable winter, at times staying with friends because their flat was too cold, and eventually having to buy an electric heater out of their own scarce cash. Words had been said between them and the landlord and the relationship between them had collapsed into one of acrimony and abuse, and indeed loathing. And by all accounts the guy was a total dick head. At one point - in a wholly transparent attempt to make them feel uncomfortable - under the guise of "renovation", he turned up, not to repair the heating but to remove the frosted glass window from the bathroom and replace it with clear glass. And this was a ground floor flat! Doug and Julie had to bodge up some curtains so they could use the loo or take a shower without doing so in full public view! That's how bad things got. They were pissed off, and hated the guy by the time they'd found somewhere else, and really wanted to piss him off badly.

And this is where the idea of a flat-wrecking party came in. Doug and Julie so hated the guy that they planned to have a few friends around with a few beers and just totally trash the place, smashing up breakable items with hammers, tearing up sofas with knives, and so on. But in discussing it with Barbara and myself, Julie expressed a concern. What if we made so much noise wrecking stuff that some neighbour called the police? We could all end up being prosecuted for criminal damage. I think the sudden glance Barbara and I exchanged indicated that she had the same thought as I did, lol. But it was I who guided them to the idea. I commented that this would be a bit risky, and pointed out that just smashing the place up physically would be pretty tiring and dangerously noisy, even if fun. 

So of course I came up with the better idea of everyone just having a few drinks and peeing everywhere. A lot less noise. No cops likely to be called. But just as damaging. Electrical goods can be fucked up just as easily - and a lot more quietly - by pissing on them than by smashing them to bits with hammers. Sofas and carpets can be ruined just as easily by being peed on. Etc. Julie's draw dropped but her face was beaming with amusement at the idea. Doug just grinned. Barbara faked shock, giving it the "oh my God I can't believe you came up with that idea" spiel. Another reason why we have gotten away with piss vandalism throughout our lives is that we can be convincing actresses when it helps the cause, lol. She was very convincing and allowed herself to be "reluctantly" persuaded that it was a good idea. Though of course I knew she was well up for it from the start, lol.

Anyway, the arrangements were made, other guests invited, and it was determined that on the evening in question we'd all meet in their local pub and have a few drinks to loosen inhibitions - and fill bladders, hahaha - before heading back to "the venue". As well as Barbara and myself - and Doug and Julie of course - there were two other couples. There was Neil and Rosie, both in their early 20s. Rosie was a stunning blonde, whilst Neil - we later saw - had what must have been a nine inch dick at least, lol. And sorry guys, I know any male readers aren't interested but we ladies do notice such things. The other couple - Tim and Shauna -  were in their late 20s. Shauna was a very buxom blonde, but kind of hot. There was also one other last minute guest whom we all met and got talking to in the pub on the evening in question. We all knew her cos she was one of the pub barmaids, but currently off duty and just in the pub for a few drinks. Her name was Carol, and she was much older than the rest of us, being 39. But when she heard what we had planned, she wanted to come along too, saying that it would be fun to just pee all over the place. And just to prove the point, she entertained us with an anecdote about peeing on some guy's bedroom carpet for the hell of it after way too many drinks. My kind of lady, lol.

Well, with three pints of lager or some equivalent drink inside us, we all walked the short distance to Doug and Julie's flat, all badly in need of a piss by now.

There was some hesitation. No one wanted to be first, because for most of them, just pissing on the carpet or furniture was just so totally "wrong". Barbara and I knew that too, of course, but for us that is part of what makes doing it so much fun. No one else present, though, had ever made a habit of peeing all over the place with total abandon. Well, with the possible exception of Carol, who on the short walk here amused us with another anecdote about an ex who liked watching her pee on the kitchen floor. She laughingly referred to him as "a dirty bastard" but clearly enjoyed the memory on some level. Barbara and I are tuned in to notice such things.

We also instinctively realised that we'd hide our own enjoyment in plain sight much more effectively if we did not appear so over-eager that we rushed to be the first ones to pee.

And since this was still - technically - Doug and Julie's flat, first honours really had to fall to them. None of the others would feel comfortable doing it in their place unless they led by example. So we kind of all congregated in the living room, where Doug got his dick out right there and started peeing on the carpet, to the amusement of everybody. The flat wasn't exactly huge so with nine of us in the living room, space was a bit tight. So when one of the girls - Rosie - laughed, "Hey, that's splashing on my leg!" and moved away I was not entirely surprised. But it was funny.

Next thing  that happened was Julie striding with a grin over towards the corner of the room, where she pulled off her knickers, raised her short skirt as she popped a squat. And then started pissing right there on the carpet too, laughing, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

She was still going strong, creating a massive puddle, when Doug, putting his dick away, said "Right everyone, feel free to piss anywhere. We want to trash everything. " He then started going through the place, unplugging all electrical appliances.

Carol the barmaid then grinned and said, "Piss anywhere, eh? Ok........"

And she got up out of the armchair she'd briefly sat in, stepped out of her knickers and raised the front of her skirt as she stood facing that armchair, fingers parting her labia. Then she stood there pissing all over the armchair, slowly swaying her hips from side to side whilst manipulating the direction of her golden torrent with her fingers. She actually looked incredibly well practiced at doing this as she deliberately peed all over the armchair. And I wasn't the only one who noticed. Rosie piped up with, "Oh my god, Carol, you look like you've done that before! Never knew you were such a dirty cow, hahaha."

Carol laughed, "Believe it, baby. There was this one guy I dated who used to like watching me do this against his bedroom wall!" There was a short pause before she added with a chuckle, "Most of it ended up on the carpet!"

There were a few dropped jaws and much laughter at that, somewhat surreally from Julie considering that she herself was at this moment only just finishing her own long wee on the carpet, lol.

As she got up from her squat, briefly smirking at the large lake of pee soaking slowly into the carpet, Julie asked with some highly incongruous incredulity, "What, you actually did that? Weren't you bothered about the mess?" 

"Wasn't my bedroom! Wasn't my wall! Wasn't my carpet! So nah, not really, hahaha."

As the last of Carol's pee was spraying over the armchair, Shauna laughingly pointed at the huge puddle soaking into the carpet which Julie was stepping away from, "It's so funny that you were being so incredulous about Carol's pissing whilst you were doing that at the time."

We all laughed at that.

And now I decided to pee, mentioning something about  Carol pissing against a wall in the past and wanting to give it a try myself, So - knickerless already in preparation for this evening, Barbara and myself having agreed to go commando - I stood facing the wall with the front of my skirt raised and legs slightly apart. And started spraying the wall with my piss, swaying my hips from side to side to cover as much of it as possible. Most of it of course was ending up on the carpet.

Carol commented on how it looked like I'd done that before, so I made up some BS about having been driven to use urinals in the gents before out of desperation because of huge queues for the ladies'. The guys in particular seemed to love that notion. I guess if they'd known the truth about me and Barbara deliberately pissing against living room walls in the past, they'd have liked it even more. But we have to be careful.

Anyway, I peed for ages, covering the wall and creating a large puddle on the carpet at the base of it.

By the time I was done, Rosie had Neil's nine inch dick in her hand as he peed all over the coffee table in front of the sofa. Most people had now vacated the sofa, but Shauna was still sitting there enjoying the show.  She laughingly pointed out that she could feel warm droplets of pee splashing back off the table onto her bare legs. But she made no effort to move away, instead saying, "But I don't actually mind!"

At this point, Rosie aimed Neil's dick towards the sofa for a couple of seconds, causing him to briefly piss on Shauna's bare legs, before aiming back towards the table.  Shauna - along with Rosie - laughed, her legs covered in pee. "Rosie, I can't believe you just did that!" But she clearly wasn't all that bothered, neither was her boyfriend Tim, who seemed to find it funny.

I was thrilled to see pee flowing off the edges of the table onto the carpet too. Those familiar with the confessions of Barbara and myself will not be surprised to hear that, lol.

Tim then got his dick out and started peeing against another wall, whilst Julie blatantly stood there right beside him, watching his peeing dick with a grin. His girlfriend Shauna joked about how Julie was allowed to watch but not touch, lol.

Shauna and Barbara then decided to piss all over the sofa together. Barbara's idea, of course.

Whilst Shauna squatted upon one end of it, pissing right there, Barbara stood facing the rest of it, legs apart and front of her dress hoisted, as she swung her hips from side to side, spraying the rest of it with piss.

Rosie herself popped a squat over a still dry part of the carpet - and flooded it with at least a minute's worth of serious pissing. Another huge puddle was the result.

A lot of laughter and high-fiving after that, with one seriously fucked up and ruined living room.

We carried on drinking lager after that, and planned to fuck up the bedroom next. In the meantime we chatted about loads of random shit - a lot of griping against Doug and Julie's landlord, and laughter about how pissed off he was going to be, naturally. But we did get to hear another pissing anecdote from Carol who - a lot less careful than Barbara and I - was in serious danger of upstaging us, lol. Apparently - for a dare - she once peed on the floor between the seats near the back of a busy bus. Of course, she was drunk at the time.

Anyway, after much chat and more drinking, we all needed to pee again so headed out into the bedroom. Julie immediately said that she was going to really piss off their cunt of a landlord by pissing on his bed. So she got up onto the bed and popped a squat in the middle of it. And started pissing. And carried on for ages, obviously soaking the sheets and mattress. She must have peed for nearly a minute, and at one point it was pooling around her bare feet as she peed faster than the mattress could soak it up. 

She then held her boyfriend Doug's dick as he peed all over the bed too, spraying it all around. 

The other two guys stood facing one of the walls with their trousers down. Their girlfriends were aiming  their dicks for them amidst much giggling as the guys pissed against that wall. 

Carol then really got into the swing of things, stepping out of her skirt entirely so that she was naked from the waist down, then stood in front of the bed with her back to it, in a semi-squatting position with hands on knees. Then she started pissing right there all over the carpet,  a gleeful expression upon her face. She was getting off on this, I could tell.  I sometimes wondered if she had pissy carpets at home, lol. She peed for ages too, flooding the carpet with piss before she was done.

Rosie walked into the empty wardrobe where there was just enough room to pop a squat. Then she started pissing in there.

By the time she was done the base of the wardrobe was covered in piss, and pee was flowing out of the front of it onto the carpet. 

Shauna opened the drawers of the bedside cabinet, and stood facing them with her skirt hoisted, pissing in them. The sound of her piss splashing against the wooden insides of those empty drawers was erotically loud. Sounded amazing. 

Barbara and I decided to pee together, temporarily removing our skirts entirely, so that we too were naked below the waist, then we stood by the side of the bed, with our backs to it, hands on hips' and legs parted. And started pissing all over the large area of open carpet on that side of the bed. It was awesome to see our piss splashing down, the puddles growing ever larger and more soaked, a lake of pee forming because the carpet couldn't soak it up fast enough. The muffled splashing sound of our pee hitting the carpet, which gradually morphed into a louder splashing as the carpet got soaked, was also highly erotic to both of us.

We slowly swung our hips from side to side to spray as much of the carpet as possible, and by the time we were done, our two puddles had expanded to merge into one huge massive puddle, a lake of piss covering a large area of the carpet and only slowly soaking into it. 

Julie laughed, "Impressive! That carpet's well fucked now!"

Next up, the kitchen, lol. But we needed to refuel with more lager first and a lot more chatting got done. And we were getting very tipsy by now. 

Shauna said something about how some people get off on this sort of thing, and told us about some amateur vid a friend of theirs showed them. No idea where he'd got it from, just another friend they said. But it featured these two women in their 40s with posh English accents, peeing all over a table, and on the kitchen floor, and on a bed.

Shauna laughed, "They were enjoying it, you could tell."

Carol was by now drunk enough to confess that it was kind of liberating and fun to just be a dirty bitch and piss anywhere without giving a fuck.

Shauna chuckled, "Well I wouldn't make a habit of it - these are exceptional circumstances - but I can see the attraction."

Julie laughed,  "You pervs!"

To which Carol good-humouredly responded with, "Says the girl who's just peed on the carpet and on the bed!"

We all found this funny.

Rosie actually admitted that whilst on holiday in Spain, she and a couple of friends had - when drunk - peed on the carpet in a hotel corridor for a laugh once. I joked, "According to Shauna there are people willing to pay good money to see videos of that. You missed an opportunity."

We found that funny too.

And of course, there was the inevitable additional anecdote from Carol, this time featuring her confession that only the previous year she'd deliberately peed on the carpet in front of her seat in the cinema, simply because it was more convenient. More fun too, I'm sure.

When we got around to peeing in the kitchen it became something of a free for all. Doug pissed in the kettle. The other guys opened a low level cupboard  and both stood there pissing in it.

Julie got up onto the kitchen counter and popped a squat there, peeing all over the surface. Loads of it was soon flowing off the front onto the tiled floor.

Even as Julie was still pissing, Rosie popped a squat over the floor and added her flood of piss to the mess there.

I decided it was time to go for maximum naughtiness, and opened the door of the fridge. Barbara did likewise with the cooker. Then we both stood there pissing in our chosen appliances, flooding them with piss. There was much laughter as we did this.

Shauna - drunkenly inspired by us - did something similar with the washing machine, standing in front of it's opened door and pissing in it.

Carol simply stood naked from the waist down - her bare feet already standing in Rosie's piss - and gleefully sprayed her piss all over the floor.

Well after that we carried on drinking and to be honest my memory starts getting rather fuzzy from this point. 

But I remember that at one point we all deliberately peed on the bed again,  with the intention of so thoroughly soaking it that our piss would start dripping onto the carpet underneath. And we more than succeeded. Because by the time all nine of us had peed there, it was actually pouring onto the carpet underneath, not merely dripping. So that mattress was obviously totally ruined. Fucking brilliant.

I can remember Julie, Shauna, and Rosie all squatting and peeing on the living room carpet again. And the guys pissing on the living room curtains, lol.

I can remember peeing on the tiled bathroom floor right beside the unused toilet, lol. And Barbara pissing in the sink with the plug in....and all of us laughing about leaving it there for the landlord to find.

I think Carol managed to upstage us again though. Because she actually stood astride the toilet but deliberately left the lid closed. And pissed there anyway for a laugh! Most of it of course ended up all over the floor.

I have other vague and fuzzy memories of guys - and girls - pissing against walls, and on carpets. Sofa got peed on a few more times I think. And the kitchen table got pissed on I'm sure. And I have a vague memory of squatting over a removed cutlery drawer which had been placed on the kitchen floor, and pissing all over the cutlery inside it.

Anyway, we all eventually left once we were done - by which time it was about 3am and we'd all had more than enough to drink. We all headed off to our separate locations, Barbara stopping over at my place.

Cannot remember doing it at all, but when we woke in the morning feeling much the worse for wear, we found a large puddle of piss on my bathroom floor. Clearly we'd decided to pee on the floor in there instead of using the toilet.

So I had the joy of cleaning that up, groan.

As for the flat we'd ruined? Landlord wasn't due to call for nearly a week! By the time he did, the entire place would have been stinking - carpets, bed, furniture, curtains - all ruined. Appliances all peed in or on. Tiled floors covered in piss. Likewise tables. Loved to have been able to see his reaction, hahaha. 

But the cunt deserved it, so who cares?

And it sure was a lot of fun.

 

[nopjans 1,144]

You know that I enjoy most everything you write, but this an exceptionally good story. Well done, Steve!

[steve25805 121,446]

After a long period of writers' block, new ideas are germinating. Have another plot in my head for a Wet Carpet magazine letter, and plans to write a fourth part to this, also possibly updating my Wild Girl thread. Sadly, work in a couple of hours and cant write well when writing against the clock. Stories cannot be rushed. So this might have to wait until my next day off,  possibly tomorrow if I don't get called in or maybe Wednesday

 

[spywareonya 37,917]

On ‎05‎/‎03‎/‎2018 at 11:04 AM, steve25805 said:

 

 

I fingered myself while reading this. Slowly at first, then the quicker and the quicker until I just exploded. During all of that, I was listening to a personal compilation of Gorgoroth and Sargeist songs, it was a real trip

You got what's inside my fucked mind

You know, since a Witch is a Guardian of Balance, we are prevented from undertaking any exceedingly selfish/destructive behaviours unless under certain circumstance, but oh boys if I wanted to do the things you wrote!

Maybe one day I'll find somebody who deserve it, since a Witch's limitations are called back when there is no need to give ethical example to onlookers, and/or the "victim" doesn't possess a "not-to-be-bothered" spiritual mark...