New Story: Initiation

[hentaixt 1,581]

My jury's still kinda out on this 1 all... I wrote a new story to post for my Birthday (no not today, but this week).

Since I'd some1 ask me to try another lore or fable, I'd... the concept seems fairly trite. I hope I adapted it well.

I'd really like some feedback on this, if you've anything to say good or ill, please do. I'm great with constructive criticism.

 

In the Swirling Deserts of Ancient Times there was a Kingdom where Mystic things still existed. In this place lived a young girl orphaned by the loss of her parents. With no one to care for her, she lived on the streets as a thief. She was always careful to disguise herself and move swiftly and quietly, knowing that if caught her punishment would be severe, a life of prostitution. One fateful day, she stole a loaf of bread in the market and thought everything was fine... she turned down an alley and was confronted by the King's Guard. The chase went down the streets, over buildings, and through them, the girl narrowly staying ahead of her pursuers. Eventually after crossing most of the town, her escape lead directly into a Royal Procession. The girl rushed into the street and ran headlong into the Prince's horse startling it, nearly getting trampled in the process. The Prince was an adept rider and after making sure she was not harmed, questioned the guards and the girl. Learning that the bread was stolen, the Prince pardoned the girl, paid for the loaf of bread, and the girl instantly fell in love with him. She pined over him and watched from afar whenever time allowed. She would always be in the crowd whenever the Prince was out. However, she knew they could never be together. There were rules of class and status and she had neither. Her love was too strong to think properly and she was determined to be a Princess herself. Now as was said, this was a place where Magjick still had power. The girl knew of shops buried deep in the center of town where dark alleys existed for selling dark things. She spoke with the girls in the brothel and acquired the information she required, a place that sold occult items. She arrived drunk on her desires. While the shop owner was distracted she stole a Bottle of Summoning and ran. She remained in hiding all that day until nightfall to be sure it was safe. In the dark of the night she followed the instructions that were read over and again until they were a mantra in her head:

Pop the Cork,
Pour it Forth,
From the Fluid You Will See,
The Way to Change Your Destiny.

Smoke rose from the ground and what formed was a Female Djinn. The Djinn was quite beautiful, long dark silken hair that remained always aloft with an appearance of the universe drifting through it. Her breasts were unburdened, gigantic and bountiful, larger than any the girl had seen, Teardrops of the Gods could not match their shape or splendor, covered only by fabric that made the Wind jealous of its transparency. Her long pointed ears were ornamented with several massive gems, emeralds and rubies the size of grapes, and sparkling gold rings more reflective than mirrors. From shoulder to fingernails, both arms were covered in patterned tattoos that seemed to move until you looked at them directly. Her waist was diminutive, her hips slender, and just the wisps of more hair could be seen below as her legs faded into a misty tail.  The girl implored, gushing her story to the Djinn who was not swayed. Her imprisonment however, meant the Djinn was bound to assist, but not without a cost. She granted the girl's wish with a cryptic reply:

"The gold you make will be the gold you bank.
However Lust and Greed are not in league.
Beware what you seek will not be your need."

The girl was left alone with only the echo of laughter. Thinking the Djinn betrayed her, she decided to desecrate the bottle that held it, despite knowing the Djinn hated the bottle as well. The girl threw it into the sand at her feet. She lowered her pants and while standing began to pee on it. Slowly as her water rained down the bottle became solid gold, her liquid pooled in the sand as it splashed and turned to gold nuggets, even where it ran down her legs dried into rivers and flaked off as gold leaf. Her flow now lasted much longer than usual, she took advantage of this and threw everything she had with her into the torrential golden stream. Once it finally subsided she collected a single remaining drop from her lips on her middle finger, it hardened into a perfect droplet which she pocketed. Knowing what she must do, she left everything else except for one nugget. When dawn came she bought a horse and left town to become a Queen.

Upon reaching the first town she knew to buy supplies. It was hard initially; shop-keeps looked at her suspiciously. How did someone dressed as an urchin have a fine traveling horse with saddle? The girl was run out of three shops when taking her purchases to the counter. Eventually there was a keep that gave her a total for the items she wanted. The girl asked the lady to hold them for her while payment was acquired from her travel bags. As soon as she was outside, the girl found an alley, removed her garments, and produced her payment. She was worried until she discovered she no longer had to have the urge to go, she simply had to strip and she could pee. Finally looking the part, she was able to collect the other sundries with less difficulty, even returning to shops that previously turned her away. On her journey she visited a jeweler and had a necklace made from the droplet, which after putting on she never removed, even while bathing or sleeping. Eventually she came upon a desolate kingdom with a dying King. She wagered with the King that she could bring him a living beetle covered in gold before his death. He agreed saying that if it were true he would die a happy man seeing such a miracle and what was left of his land would be hers to take.

Unfortunately the girl had gone far enough that this land did not have the same bugs as her home Kingdom. She stayed in the palace, searching for days while with every breath, the King's condition worsened. She woke one morning in her room to find the very bug she needed crawling across her floor. The covers over her bed were carefully moved aside, she still slept nude because it was all she knew from being poor. Every motion was made with caution to avoid alerting the insect. Her feet were placed to either side and the beetle lowered to the ground, she slid until her slit was past the edge of the bed. Her spray fell squarely on the mark, but the bug did not move. Her gold went unabated until the creature stood in a puddle, but was completely covered. Fearing it might be dead; she quickly grabbed it off the floor and rushed to the table across the room. Gingerly setting it down, the girl waited. Slowly the carapace changed colors, but there was still no movement. After what seemed like minutes, the bug shook, opened the casing over its wings and stretched them out before closing them, and trying to crawl away. The girl snatched it up and quickly locked it into the cage she had prepared. She threw on a tunic and rushed to the Kings chambers. The beetle was presented by taking it from the cage and placing it directly on the Kings’ bed-sheets. The King was startled at the sight, throwing the sheets off, the beetle flew to the headboard and from there the King retrieved and examined it. He marveled at it for some time in silence, before saying his last words, "Well done, this is truly a miraculous thing. My kingdom and lands belong to you now..." and he expired. She jumped for joy and hugged the dead King. The girl ran back to her room and found that her puddle had formed a disc but the middle still resembled the shape of the beetle. She finished dressing and returned to the King. His wish was to be burned in accordance with his tradition; the pyre had been ready for more than a month. He was laid to rest in fire with the bug in the cage.

Years passed and the land thrived and flourished again fed by her wealth. The symbol of her Domain was the golden disc and she was finally Queen. Word of the Queensland eventually reached the Prince, now King of her previous home. His rise to power was not well accepted by the subjects fearing he was too young to rule properly. So seeking a show of power to rally his followers, the King readied his army to attack. When the King arrived with his envoy, the girl knew her Prince immediately. It was not until then that she recognized her love was gone, not just for him... all Love she ever possessed. She had not realized in the years that had passed since ambitions began, her love for anything had disappeared, now dead inside she ruled fairly but without sentiment. The war was short; with no effort she crushed her former desire and took his Kingdom, her Home, for herself as well. The Queen was distraught, her Prince King meant nothing to her any longer and so he was locked away in a dungeon until he expired. She traveled to her old Home and proclaimed her sovereignty with the Treaty of War. While wandering the familiar streets of this town she stopped in the brothel and had the headmistress bring her all the girls that fit two criteria: popularity by beauty and the largest breasts. She chose several and claimed that they were now the start of her Harem. Every time the Queen left on a trip, she would acquire a new girl of exceptional looks or an exquisite gigantic chest. Rumors began to circulate, what did the Queen do with a female Harem? Not long after, the question was partially answered.

The Queen soon appeared before her subjects always wearing a breastplate of solid gold, however while the Queen's own breasts were only average size, it was clear that the ones being worn were fashioned off another. This was done with a slow process, the Queen called it a Cleansing Ritual, and all Harem members did it before they were accepted. The girl was washed by attendants and blindfolded. She was then brought to the Queen's chambers where she stayed for three days. During this time the Queen would talk with the girl and attend to her every need as long as she remained blindfolded. She was fed by the Queen, slept in her bed, when the need arose, the Queen would even assist with the toilet. During these days, the Queen would pee on the girl several times, always saying that it was the Cleansing. The girl would be walked to a small alcove and helped to kneel down. The Queen would then disrobe and relieve herself on the girl's breasts. The pee would turn into gold leaf at first, as subsequent sessions occurred, the gold slowly became thicker and solid enough to be removed leaving a cast of the chest it covered, complete with nipples. On the final session, the Queen would ask the girl to rise and remove the blindfold. The two would be standing naked in front of each other, the Queen would kiss the girl (a gesture that was only for show), and then remove the gold plate. The process was explained as a manifestation of the purity within, which caused the gold to appear. The Queen then said that she would wear the plate as a symbol to show her subjects the virtue of her Harem. The story of purity and virtue traveled with the same speed as the rumors and the Queensland flourished. She has the old breastplates melted down and turned into a solid gold building named the Golden Garden for her Harem. The Queen tells only her girls that they are free to do anything within this place. They need not dress, but they must bathe twice a day in the private Spring. They should drink the waters of the Spring and when needed, relieve themselves on the plants. The Golden Garden is accessible only by the Queen so it is her duty to bring her Harem whatever they want or need. The girls may only be looked in upon from above through the glass ceilings. It is their sole responsibility in the Harem, the must tend to and see that the Golden Garden thrives.

After several years of sorrow, the Queen began searching for the Djinn she feels cursed her. With her nearly limitless wealth, she hired Mages to search for her. They were given a verbal description and told to look anywhere accessible to them. The hunt continued for nearly a decade, before the Queen is presented with a Spell of Summoning, which can be tailored to call a specific Mystic creature. Once the ritual is performed the Queen meets with the Djinn alone. They discuss many things and it is finally clear to the girl what her riddle meant, Lust and Greed are two powerful forces and seldom work well together, she had to trade one for the other and live with the consequences. The Queen pleads to the Djinn telling her she is miserable and offers the being anything she desires. The Djinn states curtly that the Queen has little to offer, as a transcendent being the Universe is at her fingertips, there is only one thing the Djinn desires... the emotions felt from human sexual deviancy. The Queen almost instantly agrees to the terms, the Djinn will possess her body and together they will partake of the Harem. This will reawaken the girls Lust and allow her to love again. With the deal struck the Queen and the Djinn entered the Golden Garden and locked the door behind them. In her years as Ruler, the Queen had become aged and battle-hardened; her body dense with muscles. The Harem watches as the two merge, the Queen's breasts swelled in size, her ears grew to points, tattoos spread across her arms, slowly the transformation continued. Eventually they become One, she was the embodiment of perfect femininity, strong and soft, sleek and bold, power with the gentle caress of fine satin. Her Harem flocks to her and fulfilled Her every desire. The Orgy continued into the night and days beyond, they pleasured each other during every activity, bathing, eating, even sleeping is blessed with arousal. The Harem delighted in drinking her urine, refusing to spill a drop, they collected it and served it with the meals. The liquid still retained the ability to make anything it touches gold, but when consumed it was the Nectar of Gods and no taste can compare. The more the Harem imbibed, the more of them began to produce it too. Word spreads through the Lands of the Endless Orgy, while in reality it only lasted one week, the Legend says that it continues even to this day.

 
"Mom! Did you have to tell the WHOLE thing? We're going to be late for the Initiation... and they're going to go ALL THE WAY through it too."
"It's not my fault we are stuck in traffic; I just had enough time to recite it."
"The cooler's empty back here and up front only has two water bottles left."
"It's alright girls; we are just about to the off ramp. Can everyone hold on until we get to the Community Center?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Me too."
"Me three."
"I'm squirming, but I'm not bursting."
"I'm just past that; I may have to pee in the car..."
"Fine here too."
"My bladder's an iron pot. What about you two?"
"I'm driving, so the concentration's kept me from noticing."
"Well, I'm still not full, so if my daughter has to go I may drink it."
"I thought it was bad luck if we drank before we started the Celebration of the Golden Queen?"
"That's just superstition, but it looks like we may be good. I can see the banner on the building from here."
A van pulls into a busy parking lot filled with girls of various ages; seven daughters and two mothers file out. Everyone is completely nude except for a necklace with a single gold droplet. Over the door there is a banner:

"Welcome to The Daughters of the Golden Queen's Endless Orgy!!"

Below it there are two additional lines:

"Only Water allowed, Hydration is Important and Provided."
"All ages Welcome."

[nopjans 1,178]

I enjoyed the story! While I'm not sure the epilogue is necessary, there are some wonderful ideas presented here.

[P-Spud 1,352]

That is the single most well put-together pee story I've ever read. Max kudos!

[hentaixt 1,581]

1st... sorry for the delayed reply, Just saw the site's back up. As a result I'm doubling up.

On 5/29/2017 at 11:52 PM, nopjans said:

I enjoyed the story! While I'm not sure the epilogue is necessary, there are some wonderful ideas presented here.

This was part of my issues... wasn't sure it was needed, but I felt like it lacked a bit at the end to tie it as a story like "Lore".

 

10 hours ago, P-Spud said:

That is the single most well put-together pee story I've ever read. Max kudos!

Not quite sure I follow or totally agree... but I'm jaded (ALSO THANKS ^_^). Did you mean that the story flowed well or was it more the technical aspects of it?

[P-Spud 1,352]

11 hours ago, hentaixt said:

Not quite sure I follow or totally agree... but I'm jaded (ALSO THANKS ^_^). Did you mean that the story flowed well or was it more the technical aspects of it?

So many pee stories I've read are really just the same story over and over again. "We had many drinks together ... I was near to bursting ... we took pants off ... hot urine flowed ... we made love in a puddle... etc etc etc. Yours was a real adventure, wide in scope and imagination. Reminds me of one of Scheherazade's 1001 tales!

[hentaixt 1,581]

11 minutes ago, P-Spud said:

So many pee stories I've read are really just the same story over and over again. "We had many drinks together ... I was near to bursting ... we took pants off ... hot urine flowed ... we made love in a puddle... etc etc etc. Yours was a real adventure, wide in scope and imagination. Reminds me of one of Scheherazade's 1001 tales!

Ahhh, now I understand. ^_^ Yeah, if you've read any of my other stories (... or Wet Carpet posts), I've tried to do my best to make unique and inventive scenarios. I tend to add a bit of character details too, personality quirks, not just Bust/Waist/Height stuff (hopefully to make them more memorable ~_~).

I'm glad you compared it Scheherazade, that's some undo praise in my opinion... but if you think it stands along side that, I guess I'd accomplished the goal. ^_~

 

Much appreciated.

[steve25805 126,023]

Well, I finally read the story.

And in terms of imaginativeness, originality, and being well put together and well written, it may well have been the best I have ever read.

I had no problem with the epilogue, but would have liked them to have actually peed in the car.

But a great read nevertheless.

I really must attempt to write a story along similar imaginitive lines sometime, instead of the standard Wet Carpet Magazine confession by some lady who decided to pee on the carpet someplace for a thrill.

[hentaixt 1,581]

2 hours ago, steve25805 said:

Well, I finally read the story.

And in terms of imaginativeness, originality, and being well put together and well written, it may well have been the best I have ever read.

I had no problem with the epilogue, but would have liked them to have actually peed in the car.

But a great read nevertheless.

I really must attempt to write a story along similar imaginitive lines sometime, instead of the standard Wet Carpet Magazine confession by some lady who decided to pee on the carpet someplace for a thrill.

There's so much undue praise in this I'm not quite sure where to start...

You all are likely to give me a swollen ego (or head... or 2 ^_~). I'll be honest, I really thought my quality'd dropped on this... I've been calling this my 30th story. I know I've done every letter up to "M" except "K" and a few Wet Carpet posts and 1 sequel, you get the general point I'm making. I feel like I'm short on ideas and the new 1 seem trite to me...

So the fact that several of you've told me this was "unique" and "well written," maybe I'm just missing a point of evolution. *shrugs* Since I kinda hijacked your reply @Steve25805, I'm going to send you a note directly. Maybe you can accomplish something I couldn't...

[Guest UnabashedUser]

Colorful imagery invokes visions of early Fantasia Disney work --swirling pastels and watercolored hues.  Your wordsmithing and scenario creating skills work for me and that is a true compliment as most flights of fantasy leave me blank.

Erotic in an unusual way -- certainly beyond the pale of most.

Good work keep it up.

[hentaixt 1,581]

52 minutes ago, UnabashedUser said:

Colorful imagery invokes visions of early Fantasia Disney work --swirling pastels and watercolored hues.  Your wordsmithing and scenario creating skills work for me and that is a true compliment as most flights of fantasy leave me blank.

Erotic in an unusual way -- certainly beyond the pale of most.

Good work keep it up.

All I can say here's, "Damn, THANKS~" These compliments just keep getting better...

 

^_____^

[hentaixt 1,581]

Sorry I know I'm bumping 1 of my own threads back to the top and it's... fairly old.

I'd commissioned some1 to do a picture of the Djinn from the story. I thought some of you might like to see it even if this was from months ago.

 

Sorry again.