Non-pee-related jokes

[PissOnMyParade 435]

Hit me with your best non-pee-related joke.

Here's mine:

 

A couple went to a counsellor after 15 years of marriage, because the wife felt the strain on their relationship was becoming too much to bear. The counsellor, who was male, proceeds to ask them, "So tell me, why have you come to see me today?". Without blinking, the wife goes off on a massive rant and reels off every single thing her husband does that annoys her and everything which seems to slip his mind that she believes should come naturally to every man. She continues the tirade on and on and on about every single thing that has gone wrong in their 15 years together. After the tirade has died down, the counsellor calmly gets up, walks round his desk, embraces her and starts kissing her passionately, leaving her in a confused daze. The counsellor then turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs 3 times a week. Can you do that?". After a short pause for thought the man says, "Well, I'm free on weekends, but during the week I'm at my 9 to 5 so I can't bring her over!"

Edited January 7, 2022 by PissOnMyParade