Help

[Filloni 0]

I’ve got a seriously question. Me and my boyfriend went to the bar the other night and I met an old friend and me and the only friend hung out while my boyfriend hung out with his friends. But the end of the night we were wasted and my old friend and I were talking about being like best friends and I said I had to pee and he said the only way to be best friends fr is to pee in the same toilet together so drunk me was like “yeah bro let’s do this” so we went I sat to pee he just stood and aimed and we peed then we wash out hands and left the bathroom. So nothing sexual actually happened. But it turns out the guy told me that he had a girlfriend but told my boyfriend he was in an open one and so now my boyfriend doesn’t really trust him but doesn’t know we peed together.. I don’t want the dude and I just didn’t even think that it was bad until mid pee. Is that cheating?

[Adyguy6970 878]

I would treat it as a one off incident, put it down to experience, and not repeat it if doing so is likely to cause a problem.  

[Filloni 0]

So I don’t need to talk to my man about it?

[Cuckoo42 1,274]

no. You would jeopardise your relationship with both of them, they will likely fall out with each other very quickly. I assume you wouldnt want that to happen.

[Midwesttwindad24 57]

Hi @Filloni   First off, don’t let this one time incident make you feel any less self-worth.   Reading this I can tell how much this is on your mind.   
 

Also, shame on this other guy and not just for doing this knowing you had a boyfriend right in the same location, but not taking into account how this could make you feel emotionally as well as knowing this probably wouldn’t have happened while you were drunk?
 

I understand how you feel you might want to tell your boyfriend bc it’s the right thing to do, but what I would challenge you to ask yourself is how do you think your boyfriend will react to you?  None of us know that except for you.  Would he blame you just as much as the other guy?  Would he give you a pass knowing you were drunk?   Would he allow himself to forgive you or would he continue to hold this over your head?   If this is a one time incident and you would be concerned the answer would be yes to any of the questions above, then I would probably not mention it.   That said, there is accountability from your end too and that’s probably ensuring you stay away from this other guy going forward since he doesn’t seem to respect your boundaries.   If you can commit to yourself that you don’t put yourself in these situations, then I would say allow yourself a pass, don’t beat yourself up over it, build yourself up that you are loyal to your boyfriend, but set boundaries for yourself and encourage your boyfriend to share his boundaries too, so you can respect them.   
 

hope this helps