Zorroblade

A middle aged, nice looking brunette gives a blow job to a teen boy while squatting and pissing on the hotel carpet.  She then grinds her hairy muff on the boys face to orgasm.  

I work in Texas, and about 6 months ago my work moved me into a portable building (double wide) that has 8 offices, a small kitchen area, and 2 bathrooms (one for each sex).  I was able to select my office location first, and naturally chose the one directly across from the women’s bathroom 😉. 
 

There are 3 women who work there, and thanks to the paper thin walls that are inherent to portable buildings, and no fan/vent in the bathroom, it is amazing how clear I can hear the goings on inside the bathroom just from my office.  So much so, that I’ve learned the bathroom habits of each lady:

One is a French lady, about 40 years old, very thin figure and always wears tight leather pants. When she goes, I hear a very loud splashing that could only be made by a solid stream from fairly high.  I imagine she hovers above the toilet a good bit.  Also, she’s pretty quick to get started, like maybe 15 seconds after closing the bathroom door.  And she abruptly stops after peeing maybe 20 seconds on average.  
 

One is a divorced lady of about 48 with brown shoulder length hair, largish boobs and curvy figure, but not truly overweight… maybe 150 lbs.  She always wears jeans (sometimes almost cameltoe) and a blouse of some type.  When she goes, I only hear a slight tinkling that can last a good bit.  I’ve acted like I’m checking my phone while standing nearby the door, and have heard a slight hissing mixed with the tinkling noise.  I imagine she sits on the toilet, sometimes with her legs together muffling the sound which explains why I sometimes don’t hear much.  Also, she spends a good bit of time, so I imagine she’s probably checking her phone even after she’s finished for awhile. 
 

And then the 3rd woman is fairly young, maybe 25 Hispanic with a nice body.  She has long black hair with streaks of purple.  When she goes, I rarely hear anything at all.  I don’t know how she goes without making a sound, not even a trickling sound.   Maybe she goes while sitting on the sink?  My imagination runs away with it 😂. 
 

Anyway, I honestly can say it is a bit of a distraction for me and my office location as I’m trying to get work done.  But a nice benefit!

I’m a straight male, but I imagine what it would be like to be gay / lesbian who have a pee fetish like me and going to public bathrooms.   I can only relate it to what I would feel if I went to a public women’s bathroom and hearing women pissing in stalls next to me.  It would make me soooo horny every time I went to a public bathroom.   Hard to imagine.  I mean, at work and knowing a coworker and then hearing her piss next to me would push me almost over the edge 🤣.  
And are there women’s bathrooms that do not have stalls, but more than one toilet?  Where you could actually see a lady having a wee if you are in the bathroom too?   With men, we have open urinals so that happens all the time of course.   
Anyway, just a random thought I had and thought I’d share.  

An old high school buddy came to town recently, and we made a point of meeting up at a nearby pub to catch up, as we hadn’t talked in decades.  We talked for a long time on many old topics. 
I knew he got married to Dee Ann (we all called her Dee) a couple of years after high school (in the early 90’s) so I asked him how she was doing.  He quickly let me know that they got divorced after 5 years for a lot of reasons, but mainly that she was nuts. This piqued my interest because I knew her a bit, because she worked as a cashier at our grocery store and I was a stocker.  So, I asked what do you mean by nuts?

He went on to say how she cheated on him and acted like it was his fault. And on and on. 

And then he said she had the weirdest quirks. One quirk was that she collected the nice fabric napkins that are used at fancy restaurants. She’d simply stick one in her purse at every restaurant that had those.  And she had quite a collection at home.  At least a hundred, he said while shaking his head.  
 

And then he leaned in and lowered his voice, and she had this obsession of pissing on the floor anytime they stayed at a hotel.  His words: “fuckin crazy bitch never once used a toilet for peeing while at a hotel.  She was disgusting, but it got herself so horny doing it she’d always jump my bones right after, so what did I care!?  
 

Of course, I got highly interested now.  So, I played along, and said yeah that’s crazy.  Like she’d just go somewhere in the room?

He shook his head and said “that bitch would hold it on a long car trip just to piss on the floor as soon as we checked in.  She’d go in the middle of the night, in the morning, anytime.   Hell, I got tired of walking on cold damp patches on the carpet when I got up to go to the bathroom, but I didn’t shame her about it because she fucked so good.”  

About that time, a friend of mine walked into the pub and came over, which changed the conversation and that was last we discussed about Dee.  So, later I looked Dee up on Facebook and found her.  She accepted my friend request.  She’s probably about 51 or 52 years old now.  She’s got kids, by the Facebook she posts.  Anyway, I keep her identity confidential, as I can’t imagine she’d want anyone to know about that stuff.  It was in the early 90’s when she did all that, before smart phones and stuff.  

I’ve masterbated so many times to her pics, just now having this knowledge of her naughty hotel pee fetish (she at least had at one time).  
Thought I’d share this for y’all’s enjoyment too! 
 

me too Bacardi !!!  me too! 

No video.  Wife would never allow and I don't want to spy vid.    

Have you masturbated or peed while talking on the phone to a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if gay), and they have no idea that you're doing it?  

Since I'm not a girl, I can't answer the last question asked, therefore I'll answer the sexual bucket list question:   

I would love to go to a hotel with my wife, drink as many beers as we could at the hotel bar, then go to our room and have her give me a blow job while squatting down beside the bed and emptying her bladder on the carpet.  (by the way, I've come close to this, in that she has given me a bj while tinkling on the toilet).

OK, question for the next person:  what is an activity or action (besides peeing) that when you see another person do it, it makes you horny?

OK.  When you've been fucking or bating, and it's time to have that orgasm (or for you women, multiple orgasms), what are the usual thoughts that you pull out that push you over the edge?

For me, if I want to get to that orgasm, I just think about the sound and sight of my woman pissing, and that gets me there pretty quick.  Sometimes, just remembering the hissing sound she makes while peeing, and having my dick right at the point where the hissing is coming from, well, that gets me everytime.

Curious to what others use for the money shot?  

The scene of the woman pissing all over the body of the dead man I’ve always found weirdly arousing.  Since I’m into female being dominant, it is no surprise.   And the way they killed the man just before that scene was so cruel, and then her just peeing on him in intense pleasure was almost too much for me.   Just a movie, but it sure pushed the boundaries.   
 

18 hours ago, MissAutumn said:

Would you ever consider recording yourself without showing your face? I personally do mine like that for privacy purposes, but maybe that could help you not feel so shy??

@MissAutumn I just have to say I have masturbated multiple times watching you pee on hotel carpets.  Your husband is a lucky man.  Thank you for sharing!

35 minutes ago, foxypiss said:

Currently holding and no one's home. Where should I piss

Pee in a potted plant, if you have one.

Otherwise, pee into your dirty laundry pile or hamper.  The clothes will get washed anyway, so why not?

Let me know what you ended up doing, I would love to know I had input into the naughty pee of a nice lady like yourself!!

Ladies -  a quick poll where your confronted with various scenarios.

awesome list.

I would have wetinkbunny for employee of the year!   she soaked her classroom carpet many a times.   At least she said she worked at a school.  

yep it appears to be down for the most part @gldenwetgoose.   does same for me

I'm a man, and I am obsessed with women who pee in naughty places.   When I'm in a hotel room, I like to take off my clothes, squat down and put myself into the mind of being a woman as I'm letting it out on the carpet.  I like to close my eyes and listen to the pattering on the floor while in the female squatting position, because that's how much I want to know what a woman is feeling as she's naughty peeing.  Gets me so horny.

Thanks for the kind words and advice!   Perhaps I will not give up on it.  She definitely knows I enjoy watching her pee, and she has even peed on my hand in the shower when I asked her to once, although I know she thought it odd.  

Baby steps.  I will keep on working on it!

So, this past weekend I drank my wife's pee for the first time ever (we've been married for over 25 years).  We were tent camping, and I had the pleasure of watching her squatting and relieving herself in a large metal bowl multiple times.  OK, so I didn't crawl up and stare at her stream, but rather across the tent, dim lighting, her hair and hands more or less prevented me from seeing her actual stream.  But the audible hissing was lovely.

Anyway, we were getting ready to have sex, and she peed in the bowl while totally nude.  I still had my clothes on, and when she was done she asked me if I would toss her pee off into the woods.  Being the good husband, I gladly did so, but not before I took a drink from the bowl while outside the tent where she couldn't see me.  To my chagrin, it did not taste pleasant.  At all.  I was imagining something a little different.  So, maybe I will fantasize about her peeing rather than drinking as well!!

Sometimes we get buyer's remorse, I suppose....

I love females vandalizing or generally causing destruction.  Which is why I like naughty pee!   

On 10/8/2021 at 2:00 PM, Carpetpisser said:

I met a girl off Tinder, turned out we both enjoyed naughty pees. We got a room in a cheap motel and spent 2 days just soaking the place down. Lots of beer certainly helped!

That would be so fun!!!  Any pics to share or if not, a detailed recount of some of the naughty pissings would be great!

We house sit for our next door neighbor, a single divorced lady, from time to time.   She’s an attractive woman, who recently had her fake breasts removed because they were causing her complications, but she still looks hot anyway.  
One time when my wife was away for the weekend and my neighbor had left on a trip, I ended up going to my neighbors house the evening before she returned.  
 I cleaned out the kitty litter box (she has a cat), added fresh litter, then took a long pee into the kitty litter.  It was a huge clumpy mess when I was done. I later imagined her scooping the litter box when she got back and knowing she was handling my piss, in a way, got me horny. 😈