Extra-Terrestrial Pissing

[P-Spud 1,352]

This text was captured by a SETI team (Search of Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) two nights ago. It came as a fast gamma-ray burst from the direction of the Andromeda galaxy. It seems to be a response from the head of state of a galaxy-wide empire to some unnamed user on this website. A response to what? "We're still checking that out" says a usually reliable source here at PF.

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Greetings from Gondar, Lord and Master of Andromeda Galaxy. You wish to

learn about fluid waste disposal method? I tell.

First step is to remove Iridium Power Pants. Waste fluid cause Power

Pants to short out, leading to burning sensation in sensitive area.

Gondar no like this. Undo clasps and remove pants being careful not

to place them too close to nuclear reactor. Hot Pants no good.

Next, Undershield must be neutralized. This done with Trans-photonic

Submuffulator. Is small unit - only the size of Earth style refrigerator,

just fit nicely on Gondar's Artifact Belt. Once Undershield removed,

Gondar positions self in front of Porcelain Fluid Waste Funnel. Three

metres proper distance.

Now is time to unwind mighty Pleasure Tentacle (Gondar have unusually

-big- pleasure tentacle - one reason he elected as Lord and Master!)

Tentacle must be handled carefully. If too much physical contact with

graspatrons, chain reaction ensues causing expulsion of spermulator

liquid - Gondar embarrass easily - go red in thoracic region.

Once Tentacle is freed and aimed correctly, Leakage ready to be Taken. Internal flexation

of intercrapulator muscle releases stored fluid which travels down

Pleasure Tentacle. At end of tentacle, focusing knob causes fluid to

squirt out in neat stream (except in case of some oldsters, who

accidentally moisten footgear.)

When all fluid gone, Gondar shakes tentacle to remove last drops. Old

Andromedan Saying go like this: No matter how much one shake it, last

few drops always end up in Power Pants. So True...

After flushing Waste Funnel with carbon tetra-chloride, Gondar re-winds

Pleasure tentacle and reactivates Undershield (being careful not to catch

tentacle in Submuffulator. Once Power Pants be refastened, Gondar quickly

leaves Waste cubicle so no other Andromedan realize that he is responsible

for release of redolent waste vapours.

Gondar hopes this information useful and asks in return for binary

rendition of female Andromedan releasing waste fluid into Power Panties.

Yorg!

Gondar, Lord and Master of Andromeda Galaxy

[Alfresco 11,631]

Well that was a bit different! Always good to find out how things work in other lifeforms.

[steve25805 126,023]

This is one alien whose bodily waste disposal habits I'd love to observe. Jadzia Dax from Star Trek's Deep Space 9.........

[P-Spud 1,352]

This is one alien whose bodily waste disposal habits I'd love to observe. Jadzia Dax from Star Trek's Deep Space 9.........

[ATTACH=full]74694[/ATTACH]

It would be interesting if some pretty humanoid alien like her excreted a nutritious substance! Well, some of us drink waste material of yeast... :-)

[P-Spud 1,352]

But this opens a host of possibilities! As a fan of Lord of the Rings, I've wondered for instance what Galadriel's pee would be like! Or are elves so pure and bodily perfect that they don't pass waste? Luthien Tinuviel would have peed sweet honey with just a hint of rose petals for Beren.

Orc piss would be vile and atrocious. And a stream of Sauron's piss would melt through a two inch thick shield of mithril-plated Dwarf steel!

[P-Spud 1,352]

Remember Tpol? Vulcan Science Officer in Star Trek Enterprise? I wonder if she peed green?