Wet Carpet magazine

[Osiris 53]

dear wet carpet,

I was walking along the beach the other night. I just wanted to listen to the water. Suddenly I had to pee. I looked around and seen I was in the clear so I pulled out my peepee and let loose. About half way through I seen two people coming up the beach boardwalk and eventually found out they were cops. Its not like I could cut off my pee half way so I just kept going. They walked up to me and obviously seen what I was doing, but to my surprise they didn’t lecture me on it. He just asked me how my night was going and commented on the weather. As we were making small talk I just left my penis hanging out of my unzipped fly. They did not seem to care. What really surprised me was that eventually the one cop looked down at my peepee and said”that’s a good idea” and both he and the other cop that was with him both pulled out their dicks and began to pee. “That feels better” he said. They even crossed their piss streams. They finished peeing and he said “enjoy your evening”. I said the same, but as they began to walk away I noticed that neither of the officers bothered to put their peepee’s back in their pants. They just continued to walk up the boardwalk with their cocks out on full display. I listened to the waves for a little awhile longer and then I walked home. And I walked the whole way with my penis hanging out of my jeans, talk about a natural high!

 

Im starting to wonder if this is a new trend for men to walk around in public with their penis’ hanging out?

 

At one point it felt so good that I got a huge erection and soon after passed by a fit mom walking her dog. I smiled and said “nice night isn’t it”.  She smiled and said” Yes! Its a beautiful night to take your cock for a w…I mean take my dog for a walk.” She was a little flustered but I think she enjoyed it.

[steve25805 125,875]

Dear Wet Carpet.

I'm a 32 year old Dutch blonde and I earn a living as a performance artist, specialising in the more outrageous, pushing the envelope performances. For the last week I have been performing to sell out crowds and rave reviews in a performance about private acts as public performances. Basically this involves myself and two other women being naked on stage and doing various random things. The highlight for me is the part where all three of us stand with our legs apart and hands on hips facing the audience and piss all over the stage. Our director encourages us all to drink loads beforehand so we can piss loads. The stage is flooded with piss every night, lol. 

Amusingly, the other girls just view it as part of the performance, as apparently do the audience. In fact I chuckled to myself when I read a review in the British newspaper, the Guardian, by a young female art critic, going on about what it all meant and what we were trying to say, juxtaposing the private act of urination with the fact of doing it very publicly, circumventing all ladylike norms of sitting or squatting, and standing there doing it in full view as a public performance. She spoke of the excellent performance where women defy all conventions and interpreted this as an assertion of feminine freedom against the patriarchy, the artists by our performance supposedly saying a massive screw you to the males in the audience whilst demonstrating female empowerment to the women.

And some such twaddle.

But I was only doing it because I was being paid to do it. And what no one knows is that I was actually  getting off on it, standing naked in front of an audience of hundreds, and pissing right there all over the stage in full view of that audience, accompanied by two other naked ladies doing the same. Piss all over the stage by the time we were done. And the icing on the cake was that we just got to walk off at the end of the show, leaving it there for the cleaners to clean up.

And you know what? As a performance artist I can do such outrageous things and secretly get a kick out of it, and still be considered part of respectable society. How many other women could piss naked all over a stage in front of an audience every night, and still be lauded by high society? lol. I must admit I inwardly chuckle at this.

Edited November 4 by steve25805