At the Butt of a Woman

[LoveLadyPee 20]

This is the story of a young lady who does away with a wicked witch by peeing on her. Some may consider violent, but not bloody.

For four months, Joan had been trapped in a foreign land. She had gone from the comforts of home to a dizzying endless forest, through charming fields, and now these past few weeks, found herself locked in a dreadful dungeon. There was no doubt Jonas had a fault in this. It was her friend's wish, after all, that had brought them to Oz. Ever since he read L. Frank Baum's fantasy series as a boy, he was obsessed, and now they found themselves prisoner to the antagonist he always so feared when she only in his book. Now he lived in terror day to day. Joan would roll her eyes and tell him to relax and stay busy; the wicked witch of the west wouldn't kill them so long as they did such a fine job cleaning. But all that would end today. She'd been planning it since she deduced the singular weakness of the witch a fortnight prior. It was mostly her idea; Jonas had to be prodded often to sustain his commitment to achieving their freedom. She saw in him the early signs of becoming resigned to this fate, and she wouldn't let that happen to her best friend. They would kill the wicked witch today, or rather, she would. Joan knew his weak nerve was too much of a chance; she'd have to do it. Her hatred for the witch was unwavering, and she longed to deliver humiliation and death to the villain. As her chores today on her weekly cycle led to the west foyer, she knew there would be buckets of water there. The past weeks of hell rushed through her mind in an instant as though this act could erase them; only this moment existed: she grabbed a bucket as the witch entered to inspect, pivoted before the witch could admonish her for a missed spot, and hurled it with all her rage.

But she missed. The witch, with quicker instinct than the movie indicated, moved out of the way, the water only grazing her skin. The witch let out a cry of pain. Her heart racing, Joan thanked her lucky stars she had a Plan B. Jonas emerged from behind the door and with a lunge tackled the witch to the ground, keeping her dazed a moment more. Joan knew the witch would recover and destroy them both. She was also feeling angry at the witch for not dying. In the moment she threw the bucket, she was filled with such hope that their torment would be over. Somehow, her wit and rage combined to find the perfect solution. She strode toward the witch, gracefully pulled up her raggedy dress, and started to relieve herself. The witch just raising her hand to enact a spell, let out a cry renewed. She bucked about and her magic almost blasted Joan back, but her loyal Jonas held onto her as well as holding the witch beneath Joan's vagina, and every second the witch weakened until, winded, she could only lay there, liquefied up to her ankles. Joan now beaming, readied her stream to land on the witch's chest; she didn't want her to die right away. "Hold her Jonas. She can still wiggle." "Right, right. This is all so surreal. Can't imagine Dorothy doing this." "Yeah well, she was too nice. You're a monster you! I want you to suffer and die." "Please stop, little girl. I'm meeelting!" "I'm not little, and don't you think I know that? After all you've done, if not to me, then to Jonas, I will always hate not only the memory of you, but wish the worst upon your soul." "NOO!" "I'm so glad I'm to be the one who takes your life, but what makes this even better is knowing this is only the beginning of your suffering. Once I force you into the floor and your soul flees this plane, it'll be forced to where all your slaves have been living: hell."

"Wow, Joan. I -I never knew how deep your anger went. I was thinking so much about what she could do to me. A -and oh my, I'm sorry." He turned so as not to look between her legs. "Turn your head back Jonas. From now on you get to look down there as much as you want, 'cause we're getting married." "We -we are?" "Yep. Being slave to this disgusting witch here has made me realize how important you are to me. Plus, with how long you take, you'd-a been 40 before you proposed." "Well, I -thank you." "I love you Jonas." "Mm-ff o Joan-" "What's that bitch? You talking to me or him? Our names are so similar you know?", Joan said as she looked at her love with a grin. "MMMmmff!" "Oh it's just your vocal cords beginning to disintegrate", she said calmly. "Why, you must be 2/3 gone!" "hss, pss dant kll meee!", the shrinking creature wheezed out. "Aww, is someone afraid to die? I have a little leaving-Earth present." With that she planted her rear end on the witch's face, and passed gas. As she let it rip she leaned forward and planted a kiss on Jonas's lips. He had long since stopped needing to hold the witch still. He was just watching with horror-turned-awe. He realized everything Joan said was true, and the little sympathy he had for the witch as a human being slipped away. The witch made some gasping similar to the lion when slapped by Dorothy during their acquaintance. Joan met her big horror-filled eyes. "Look at you. You're more cowardly than the lion. You pick on and torment others, and now I see your eyes doing more begging than words ever could. Ah well, at least I don't have to listen to you grovel." A red started growing in the midst of the witch's green face, which Joan found amusing as she smiled down. "Well, I can tell you're about gone. So as you take your little trip downwards, remember you've been done in by the hand of girl. No-", and here she composed herself. "Thou hast been slain by the butt of a", she hesitated, and receiving an encouraging nod from Jonas, said with a confident look, "woman."

The witch splashed into the floor sending one final groan resonating through the room, filling Joan with a sense of dark pleasure. Filled with delight, she lunged at Jonas and began a passionate makeout session. She looked forward to telling the witch's slaves they were free. She wiped with the witch's hat, and with one last contemptful look down, said "Burn in hell." And tossed it down like a badass. They then went into the other room and got on with their business.

Edited October 26, 2020 by LoveLadyPee
Omitted some content that a mod informed me was against the rules.

[LoveLadyPee 20]

Oh, when Joan said the witch would go to hell where her slaves were living, she didn't mean her slaves who had died were evil and went to hell. She meant the witch had made their lives a living hell, like she did to Joan and Jonas.

[rann 686]

This is a very clever premise and story! I enjoyed reading it 🙂

[LoveLadyPee 20]

18 hours ago, rann said:

This is a very clever premise and story! I enjoyed reading it 🙂

Would you do the same thing as Joan did?