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@Biker

 

The story is COOL

 

BUT

try to write with a bit more spaces between paragraphs, and mind the grammar a little more

To read it had been a bit hard: but it's worthy to be fixed

 

Good luck boy

 

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Thank you very much . It's my very very first attempt ever . I wish I had read it more before posting as I was horrified at the wording . It was just typed up on a kindle and the auto spell was a nightmare. It kept changing words . The story is actually based about 90% on a real life situation . Obviously names have been  changed but the main character (sarah) is based  99% on a real woman i know . She's lovely in real life ,but without doubt a natural femdom .😉  and yes she really does have a huge bladder!  I hope to continue a small series , (even with her help) as and when time permits . 

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5 hours ago, Biker said:

It kept changing words

Ahahahahahah it happens to me too when I write my true experiences and post them here...

 

5 hours ago, Biker said:

99% on a real woman i know

Then sorry I have to tell you, this is not the fitting place

 

Let me be sincere with you: fictional stories are less checked than real ones, people writes them because they love to write and in the end  they feel like sharing them with their friends, BUT nobody hopes to see his fictional stories checked

 

An advice? Cull off the fictional parts, change names as much as you want, and publish it in the real experiences

It will drag tons of people to you

 

I have Others advices for you if you want, just PM me

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On 4/1/2019 at 1:31 AM, Biker said:

Thank you very much . It's my very very first attempt ever . I wish I had read it more before posting as I was horrified at the wording .

I know the feeling well.  My finger won't type what I am thinking, and their English is horrible, and they keep mixing up the little two and three letter words.
I guess that it call for proofreading, but who want to spend the time doing this when you want to get your thoughts out!

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