NotNowBob

On 7/29/2021 at 2:06 AM, deliquescent said:

I know there are a few here who are aficionados of humiliation and I don't want to rain on your parade (pun!). I never understood the appeal. What is it about humiliation that's a turn on?  No judgement, just trying to understand.

I mean...this isn't going to satisfy you probably, but...I have no clue, really. It's probably tied into early memories and maybe you're just born with it. I wish I understood it more, but it's 100% the biggest part of the kink to me.

I'm not sure if this is the right term (but it's the only one that fits for me that I've found), but, for me, I'm a "switch." I am turned on both by my humiliation and by other people's. When I watch videos, for instance, I need to see the actress (mostly) or actor (not never, but not often) expressing embarrassment or shame. With myself, I often remember legit accidents I've had in the past and it's the embarrassment I felt at the time that excites me. On same level, I will sometimes share the story of those accidents with someone I'm talking to (if it is an appropriate conversation to have -- i.e. we are talking about embarrassing moments we've had -- I often would ask the embarrassing moments question on a Tinder/Bumble date as an ice breaker. Bonus if they follow up my wetting story with one of their own...). 

This is a broad spectrum of a kink -- accident fans don't have a lot in common with Golden Shower fans. Except, perhaps, from a taboo standpoint. In all cases, peeing is considered something that is dirty or extreme. So, maybe that taboo aspect draws us all in on some level and that might be a trait that does share elements of humiliation, regardless of how you seek it.

Just spit-balling, really.  To each their own, ultimately. 

I've been reading here for a few weeks now. It's part of an effort I'm making to fully come to grips with this aspect of my sexuality. To be honest, it's not always been something that I have fully embraced, or have accepted. 

From reading here, I get the sense that the most common turn on by people here is that aspect of the kink that I do not share -- that is public peeing/watching someone peeing/getting peed on side of things. Knock your socks off, but that's not me. For me, I'm very much on the accidents side and, even more specifically the "true," embarrassing accident. That's both the idea of me having one and others (mostly women, but I don't think I'm 100% hetro -- more like 90%-10%. I don't think anyone is 100%, but that's a different topic, for a different place.

I've had legit accidents in my life. Including a couple when I was just entering puberty. I'm pretty sure that's the root of all this. The embarrassment/shame from that is what turns me on. The same thing applies when I'm thinking about other's accidents. 

All this has created a vicious circle of me feeling ashamed by (in the case of my own accidents) my "weakness," or shame of being turned on by other people feeling shame/embarrassment. But, not enough to stop fantasizing about my past incidents, or imagining ones in the future, and by seeing or learning about other people's experiences. It's a big. ole' shame/excitement circle.

As I said, I'm trying to find a way to accept that in a healthy way, as I know it's not going away. So, I'll be around here, reading. Maybe, jumping in if it seems right, but mostly reading.