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The possible story behind Erwin Wurm's 'Pee on somebody's rug'


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Hi

I was chatting with my friend the other day and we got talking about interesting work we have done, and I could not help but mention one of the most interesting modelling assignments I had. My friend thought it was rather fun and that perhaps I should write it up for "wet carpet" magazine. I had not heard of the magazine, but now I can see why you might be interested.

It all started when I was modelling at an exhibition in a gallery about ten years ago. I just had to wear a themed outfit and mooch around to create atmosphere. Not too exciting so I got to chat with the artists. I got on well with one of the artists, Erwin Wurm, and he thought I might like to model for a new series he was doing about doing things that are politically incorrect. We had quite a long discussion about what he could depict since it is a very controversial subject. He didn't want to just be outrageous, he wanted to just slip little things in to everyday activities, he wanted to make the viewer work to see the meaning. We were trying to think of things and did not come up with much, but my bladder was feeling a bit full and I just mentioned that if I was not careful I was about to be politically incorrect all down my legs.

Erwin laughed and really lit up. "Great idea!" he said. He gave me his card and said I was hired. I excused myself and went to the women's room.

I thought nothing of it until I got a call from my agent a couple of weeks later confirming a booking. I made my way to the hotel and was greeted by Erwin. he took me for a coffee. We sat and discussed the shoot while I had three coffees.

He had set up in one of the penthouse apartments, and had invited a few friends to make the scene. They new that they would be photographed, but they did not know the full nature of the scene. He wanted me to just walk in say "hi" and then standing casually with my feet a little apart nonchalantly just pee. There would be a rug there to stand on so hopefully none of the 'guests' would notice straight away that I was peeing. I was not to hold back.

I asked Erwin. "What will I be wearing?"

"What you have on." he replied. "Unless you have panties, they will have to come off." he added.

A just casually flipped up the front of my skirt so that he could see that I was without. I don't know any models that wear panties.

He smiled and said. "Excellent".

We finished our coffee and Erwin got me a bottle of water to drink on the way up to the apartment.

As we got out of the lift Erwin asked me. "Do you want to do a quick trial run?"

"Yes." I answered.

Erwin stopped walking and said. "Go ahead then, feet apart. Don't worry about the carpet. I have paid more than enough to hire this apartment."

I just spread my feet a little and giggling I relaxed and started to pee. Looking back I cannot believe that I just stood there in the hotel corridor and peed on the carpet like that, but Erwin was so in control of everything I just did it.

"That'll do." he said.

I stopped peeing and we walked on, I did not even look back to see what I had done to the hall carpet.

When we got to the apartment Erwin opened the door, took my bottle and led me in. There were lights and several cameras set up with Erwin's assistant behind the cameras but otherwise it was just a regular apartment.

Erwin introduced me. "This is Minerva. Minerva meet Jack and Francine."

Erwin retreated behind the cameras which began clicking.

I just stood on the rug, moved my feet a little apart, made a little small talk - and started to pee.

I could not tell whether I was actually peeing at first because I could not hear it but as I increased the flow a little bit I could feel little splashes on my legs and heard the cameras begin to click faster.

My heart started racing, I am sure that I must have flushed very red, but I just pushed harder and then could hear my pee splattering in the rug while Francine was speaking.

Francine paused and then looked a little shocked. "... Minnie - you're peeing..."

I just smiled, carried on peeing as Erwin had told me to, and said. "Yes."

It was quite a relief that someone had notice. Strangely I felt more comfortable.

Jack spoke. "That's rather fun. Why don't you water the rug too Francine."

Francine just sunk in to her chair and shook her head.

The cameras kept clicking until I finished peeing.

Erwin came over. "Lovely, thank you. I think that is politically incorrect enough don't you?"

Francine nodded.

"Time for lunch. Will you join us Minnie?" Erwin asked, jokingly adding. "I'll buy you lunch if you pee in the restaurant too."

We all laughed.

Jack added. "Art is about more than just the picture you know."

We had a nice lunch with a few glasses of wine in the restaurant. I learned all about Jack and Francine, and how they marketed Erwin's art. They were really nice and said I could have a print when they are done since I had been a really good sport to play along with Erwin. They really had no idea what he was doing or what I was going to do when I walked in.

While we were eating all the coffee and water really started to take effect. I was just about to get up and go to the women's room but I felt really relaxed in the company and I remembered what Erwin had said about the cost so I just leant forward and flipped the back of my skirt out of the way and just sat and peed on my chair. It was real fun that even Erwin did not realise what I was doing until my expression must have given me away.

"You're not peeing again by any chance are you dear?" Erwin asked.

I just smiled and blew him a kiss.

It was somehow very liberating just sitting there and peeing like that, feeling the warmth in the seat caressing my bare bottom.

Jack spoke again. "Its your turn now Francine!"

The wine was now having an effect.

Francine answered, quite loudly. "For fuck's sake Jack, what is it with you guys and pee."

Straight away I could hear the familiar hiss of someone peeing full blast.

Francine commented. "Mmm. It is nice and warm, and I guess it beats having to go to the women's room.

Francine continued to pee, her pee still hissing, with a beaming smile on her face.

As the hissing stopped Francine spoke again. "Happy now guys?"

Erwin answered. "Are you happy Francine?"

"Strangely yes." Said Francine. "I never realised that pissing myself would be so warm and comforting."

We stayed in the restaurant chatting while we had coffee. Both Francine and I peed again before we got up to go.

While my skirt was dry where I had moved it out of the way Francine's skirt was soaked at the back, but she did not seem to be in the least concerned and did not even check it.

I got the subway home while the others got a cab.

There are times that I really love my job and when being paid is just a bonus, and that was one of them. The real bonus cam e later when a nice framed print arrived.

medium.jpeg

At first I had some trepidation about putting it up on my wall, but now it has pride of place. No one at first realises that it is me in the picture, and even fewer realise that I am peeing until they look closer. But now I have a special rug laid just in front of the picture, and if the mood takes me I just recreate the scene. Still hardly anyone notices that I am peeing!

Minnie

-xXx-

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The clue is in the title. This is just a little fictional account of what might have happened around the making of Erwin Wurm's picture. Unfortunately I have no idea who the model is (I have called her Minnie) but when I saw the picture I was inspired to write.

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