My houseplant turned out to be A hot guy... who knew?

[Archangel Michael 46]

I really don't know what I was on when I wrote this... But I hope you enjoy! or at the very least find it interesting. Contains male pissing on other males so like 100% gay. Way more wacky stories coming in the future so look forward to it!

 

I flopped down on my couch. The party I had hosted in my apartment was slowly winding down, and the people working in the morning started to realize that if they stayed any later, they wouldn’t be able to function in the morning. I took another swig of my beer as I watched whatever was happening on the TV slightly zoning out due to the accumulated exhaustion from partying. 

 

“Hey! Rory, great party, man!” My buddy Sam said as he plopped down next to me. “But hey, y’know, Kensy went into the bathroom with her boyfriend like 5 minutes ago, and I really gotta pee… can you please kick them out?” He asked with a very slight slurring.

 

“What the hell? Why do they gotta do that crap at my house?” I said in disappointment and annoyance. At the same time, kicking them out of the bathroom in the middle of the deed may lead to more problems than letting them keep at it. Besides, I didn’t even know what I would say. So, I tried looking around for another solution. All the windows had a screen; the landlord would have my head if I removed them. I couldn’t tell Sam to go outside either. My apartment was a few floors up, and it’s not like there was any grass or foliage outside unless you counted the concrete jungle.

 

“Ehh, whatever… just use that houseplant,” I said, pointing towards the large Monstera plant in the corner of the room. It had been a gift from an ex-girlfriend, and despite not caring about it, it was indeed flourishing. It had almost taken over that whole corner of the apartment.

 

“Are you sure, man?” Sam asked in a questioning tone.

 

“Yeah, it would be like… good for it? Or whatever,” I said. I think I had heard somewhere before that plants need something in waste… Maybe from the Discovery Channel? Sam got up and wobbled over to the houseplant. I heard him unzip his pants before he sighed in apparent relief. I listened to the messy hissing and splatters as his piss left his cock and flooded the already damp soil of the large houseplant. I didn’t see the stream from my point of view, and it’s not really like I cared to see it, either. I slowly drifted away into an intoxicated sleep to the calming sound of the ‘water’ pit pattering against the dirt.

 

I groggily opened my eyes as the harsh sun flooded my room with its morning glow. I heard some shuffling behind me as my eyes adjusted to the light.

 

“I guess someone crashed here last night,” I thought as I snuggled closer into the couch I was lying on. That was until I heard whoever was walking around step up next to my couch. I peeked one of my eyes open, only to be horrified. I was shocked to see the head of a cock staring at me from only a few inches away. I quickly opened my eyes and shrunk away from the meat rod. However, when the hole of the pink rod flexed and then opened only to reveal a stream of hot liquid that filled my vision, I was genuinely stunned. My speechlessness went on for only a few seconds, but that short hesitation was all it took for me to get covered in piss. The stream slightly dug into my cheek as it cascaded down my face. Once the warm golden fluid started to soak into my shirt, I quickly awoke from my stupor and stood up from the couch, escaping the stream.

 

“What the hell are you doing!” I yelled at the man, expecting it to be someone from the party I had just held the previous night, but after a quick look, I was aghast to see it wasn’t even anyone I knew.

 

“Who.. who the fuck are you…” I said in a state of false calmness as the man continued to piss on my sofa. I watched in awe as his flaccid cock still poured piss onto the couch. The gray cloth quickly darkened as the sofa was greedily absorbing the piss into its fluff.  “Stop fucking peeing!” I finally yelled, rage filling me from the audacity of this man, but luckily, the man did stop; unfortunately, it was clear from the look of relief on the man's face that it was just because the man had finished his pee. Looking over the strange man gave me very conflicting emotions; on one hand, this strange man had not only broken into my home but had peed on me and my couch; on the other hand, he was incredible looking. This man had the body of a super-model; he was almost ethereal as he stood completely naked in my living room. 

 

My vision swept over him and his slightly toned form. His skin was surprisingly pale, and it looked almost like it was glowing. I blushed slightly as I looked over his hairless cock. It looked to be around 6 inches, but it looked amazing. The flesh of his manhood was just perfect, and the sight of his veins pulsing vital blood to the throbbing head gave me shivers. There was something about this man he just didn't feel human. “Who.. are you…?” I said in a slightly more amenable tone. The man only stared at me with a blank stare. His surprisingly golden eyes stared back at me, not looking like he was comprehending. “Hello? Who are you? Why did you piss on me?” I asked again, hoping to get some kind of answer.

 

“I apologize… by your reaction that was an… Improper way of greeting you.” The strange man said in a voice like smooth honey. “I… have lived here almost my whole life,” He said.

 

“What? No, you haven’t! Where?” I rapidly fired out, somewhat forgetting the slight spell his perfect body had put me under. There was no way this man was a squatter, right? My apartment was too small to have any hidden rooms. The man said nothing, but he did turn to face the corner where my large house plant was… Missing. The pot was still there, and it looked like a large amount of the dirt I had placed in it was now spread all over my carpet.

 

“I lived in that… pot,” The man said in a complex tone filled with some longing. 

 

“What?” I asked, “You’re the… plant?” I said in disbelief. “H-how…? Th-Thats not possible…” I chuckled in self-depreciation. 

 

“I speak only the truth. I do not remember much of my seedling days, but I remember being with… A lot of my kind… then I was here. It was a female, I think.”

 

The greenhouse! My ex must have just picked up the potted plant at a local nursery or something, and… Wait… I’m not seriously entertaining this idea, right? I mean, it’s ridiculous. There's no way a plant could become human, right?

 

“I heard a… voice. I think it was last night…” The man said, “I had never… heard anything before, but when I heard that voice… it was like I touched the wholeness of life. Then I understood. I felt as though my sleepy world had suddenly gained incredible color. Then I opened my eyes and saw you… sleeping on that couch.” The man had slight tears as if he remembered something magnificent.

 

“Right…but why did you pee on me then?” I asked, calming down a lot more after seeing his tearful face. 

 

“I… assumed it’s what you humans did…” That was all he said. “But now I am sure I was mistaken based on your reaction.” Why would he think that? Unless… was it because of last night when Sam needed to use the restroom? As we talked, however, I noticed something about this man’s words. They were like earworms or something. Pin-pricks of knowledge that sank into my head. I believed him! As crazy as it sounds. Even I thought it was wild, but… I couldn’t help it. He just spoke with such emotion.

 

“Right… sorry then. That was my fault.” I said to the man. “Here, let me get you some clothes. What’s your name, by the way?” I asked while walking back towards my room.

 

“My name?” The man said clearly to himself, “How about Liem?” Hmm. I guess he didn’t have a name before… I wasn’t one to name plants, so it makes sense that he had to think of something on the spot. I raided my dresser for spare clothes that I thought would look good on Liem. “You are Rory, correct?” Liem asked.

 

“Huh? Oh yea. I’m surprised you know.” I yelled back into the living room where Liem still was. 

 

“I have fuzzy memories. Like my whole life, up until this point, had been a dream,” he said. Damn, that must be rough. Are all plants this melancholic? I can’t imagine a dandelion acting like this. I handed the clothes I had picked out to Leim as I walked back into the living room. 

 

“Alright, you put these on while I go and get cleaned up,” I said as I walked towards my shower. I heard slight shuffling behind me as Liem started to get dressed. Once I entered my only restroom, I quickly stripped and hopped into the shower. I didn't want to be in there for that long, but my thoughts promptly overtook me as I stood under the cascading water. It was crazy, right? That a houseplant could become human? But I didn’t know what else it could be. It’s like my thoughts guided me toward the absolute truth. Liem WAS my houseplant. Maybe it was included in the strange magic that turned him human… or I maybe really lost it. After finally setting my thoughts straight, I got out of the shower. Still, despite my mind being sated by Liem’s creation, my heart was still in uproar. Was I really going to be living with a super hot guy? Liem was almost angelic in appearance, and my thoughts quickly got a little hot and heavy. As I was drying, I stealthily wrapped my hand around the quickly hardening stump of my cock. Slowly massaging my feelings into my manhood. I mean, Liem had no other choice? Maybe he would leave eventually, but until then… I felt a smirk grow as I thought about the coming weeks. But, I had to snap out of my horny revery. I grabbed some clothes I had brought into the bathroom and threw them on. I entered my living room to find Liem looking out the window. I watched him for a bit before speaking up.

 

“Would you like to go outside and grab something to eat?” I asked in a casual tone. Liem had a sad look on his face and simply nodded. He followed me out of the building and to my car. I had to open the door for him AND show him how to put on his seatbelt, but soon we were off. I just planned to go to the food court mall as it was nearby and there was a really good Chinese restaurant there. I looked over at Liem as we sped down the highway. He had only been looking out the window the whole time, watching the scenery go by.

 

“Did you know… we… know of you?” He said out of nowhere. 

 

“What?” I responded, not sure what he was talking about.

 

“Plants I mean, We know of you humans. But to think… You were… so far above us. I can see countless relatives of my kind… treated as… decorations.” He said as he looked back at me some tears forming in his eyes. “Apologies…” He said wiping his face “I have never moved this fast before” He said turning his gaze back towards the window. 

 

“Are you… upset?” I probed. It didn’t seem like he actually was upset, more like he is just… in awe of it all. 

 

“No… I’m more amazed… You don’t know. When you’re a plant or maybe even a beast, you just take everything no matter the consequences… But, now I can see how that can lead to self-destruction.” Liem said clearly having some internal epiphany.

 

“Well, it’s not like we are perfect at it,” I said as I took the off-ramp from the freeway. 

 

“That makes sense… were all beasts in the end…” He said. He was honestly kind of starting to bum me out, but still, he had only been aware for less than a day, so… I guess it’s fine. We parked and walked into the mall without talking. After choosing a seat in the food court though I asked him a question. 

 

“You eat, right? I mean, as a plant, you like ate the sun? How did that taste?” I asked.

 

“Hmm… It wasn’t so much eating… more like absorbing the light. I don’t know how to describe it now with words.” He eventually said. Luckily, this time, his words carried much less of an oppressive atmosphere. 

 

“Well, then, I got something amazing to show you!” I said, “Wait here, and I’ll grab us some food!” I said as I stood up and walked towards my favored restaurant. I quickly bought some food and brought it back to our table. I placed the Styrofoam container in front of Liem as I sat down. 

 

“I really like this place, so tell me what you think,” I said as I started to dig into my meal. Liem only picked up his fork and poked at it. 

 

“Is this rice?” He asked.

 

“Yea, wh-” But I stopped mid-sentence. Would a plant want to eat other plants?  But my worries were quickly cleared when Liem took a big bite of the rice dish. His face instantly lit up in an expression of joy.  We wordlessly ate our meal, and I couldn't help but sneak more glances at Liem. 

 

“I thought you might be upset,” I said after we finished our lunch. “That we eat plants,” I added for clarification.

 

“If you were subject to the cruelties of what my kind can afflict, you would surely want to cease to exist. We can only get through it because we are unaware of the true nature of it all. I can see how it seems absurd to have bugs crawling in, on, and around you, or have fungus slowly eat you from the inside out, or have a relative birth their children inside you so they can grow up safely while they drain you of all your essence. Simply eating the cultivation of your kind's hard work is the very least of our worries.” He said casually; I wholly agreed. I couldn’t imagine if humans were subject to what plants go through, but I still felt a little bad.

 

“Mmm, I’m going to the restroom,” I said, getting out of my chair and throwing my garbage away in the nearby trash can. After walking only a few feet, I realized that Liem was following me.

 

“Oh, do you need to go to?” I asked, changing my direction from the single-locking toilet to the staled public one.

“Ah well… no, but I do need some help…” He said, but for the first time, I saw a slight blush on his cheeks. 

 

“Help?” I questioned, not really sure where this was going. Liem only looked around nervously.

 

“I feel that this is not something to be discussed in such a… public place?” he said. My curiosity was truly peeking now, so I guided him to the single-person restroom I had headed to before. We slipped inside without anyone seemingly caring, and I locked the door behind me.

 

“So what’s up, man?” I said in a casual tone to not give away my true shaky feelings.

 

“I wanted to… apologize again for this morning… After spending more time here, I realized it was… more indecent than I thought.” He said, and a theory I had that was beginning to fully take place. I think he is somehow rapidly absorbing knowledge. Or maybe he was born with some knowledge of humans but not all of it. But still, it’s not like I was angry anymore. I thought back to the morning but mostly of his perfect cock mere centimeters away from my face.

 

“Yea, it’s no problem, man… it was mostly my fault, I guess,” I said, a slight redness appearing on my face. “Is that all you wanted to say?” I asked.

 

“Uh well… I was wondering if you could show me how to use this.” He said while pointing at the toilet. But there was obviously something off about the way he asked. His brilliant golden eyes shifted back and forth, and I swear I could see some sweat on his forehead. Was he… lying?

 

“You don’t know?” I asked with a smirk.

 

“No…” He said in a shaky tone. It looked like he wanted to add more to that lame ass excuse, but that's all he got out. I walked the very short distance over to Liem and whispered in his ear.

 

“Do you want to see me go pee?” was all I asked and was delighted when he rapidly nodded his head up and down. “But why?” I asked as I striped out of jeans leaving me just in my boxers.

 

“I had a feeling… one of the first ever this morning. I wish to re-create that…” He said. So was Liem just super horny after shoving his cock in my face? It made some sense; it's not like plants got turned on. I stripped off my underwear, letting my somewhat hard cock bounce a bit. Liem only stared at it for a bit.

 

“W-What?” I asked. 

 

“It looks different and… hair?” He asked. I quickly got tired of the cock rating and I walked over to the toilet, pointing my tip at the clear bowl.

 

“Ah wait!” Liem said as he walked over and kneeled next to the bowl, staring intently. I wanted only a few more moments before I felt the piss travel from the base of my cock to the head. It exploded out in a jet that splashed down into the toilet below. I let out a large sigh of relief as I emptied my blatter. Looking over at Liem, he was absolutely star-struck, and his pale skin was now a bright red. The stream made a loud splashing noise as the clear toilet water slowly turned yellow. I was alarmed when he suddenly reached his hand out and touched the stream; however, I didn't dare stop. I watched as the interrupted stream shot drops of piss every witch way. His hand slowly crept closer and closer to the tip of my pink tip. He looked back over and stared at my still-spraying crotch before rapidly opening his mouth and sealing it around my meat. I yelped in pleasure as I felt him drink in my fluids. He kept his golden eyes locked with mine as his throat gulped again and again as my golden fluid filled his stomach. He expertly wrapped and licked his tongue up and down my shaft as he bobbed his head on my cock. I felt my length scrape against his cheeks as he continued to blow me. I eventually stopped peeing, but Liem seemed hellbent on draining away everything that I had. I eventually grabbed onto his head, sinking my hand into his dark hair. I now roughly thrusted down his throat, and he took me so deep that I felt his nose pressed into my pelvis and his chin rest on my balls. I soaked my cock deep in his throat for only a few more moments before I shot rope after rope of hot cum straight into the walls of his throat. All the while, he made piercing eye contact with me as my cock, and balls throbbed cum into him. I left my cock in his mouth for a few more moments before releasing him, a trail of drool stretched from his mouth to my swollen head. He wiped his face as he stood back up.

 

“That… was the feeling,” was all he said, and he smiled at me.

 

“Are you okay?” I asked, a little worried I had gone too far without making sure there was a safe word. I also noticed tears in his eyes from the experience.

 

“Yes, it was just… I guess I’m jealous of you humans. You get to experience so much.” he said in a solemn tone.

 

“Would you like to do this again?” I asked as I put on my pants. It took a while for him to answer, but he eventually nodded. 

 

“Thank you…” was all he said before we walked out of the bathroom.