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Sophie

Win a custom story! - Last post wins

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Can you please refrain from posting multiple times in a row? It's the last person to post, not the person who posts the most. So posting the exact same thing over and over again doesn't achieve anything.

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For now everything is going as planned. Nobody defy my Imperial Authority. My design takes shape and grow strong

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Feeling Christmassy..wrapped up warm, watching the snooker with a hot drink and a mince pie, and writing Christmas cards 

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2 minutes ago, pobox9847 said:

Feeling Christmassy..wrapped up warm, watching the snooker with a hot drink and a mince pie, and writing Christmas cards 

I've just spent 15 minutes explaining to my daughter how mince pies are vegetarian and I'm not being naughty for eating them. And how they don't contain meat despite saying "mincemeat" on the box.

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Yes,they havent been made with meat since about 1879 or something...Sophie,puff or short pastry?Short for me.

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1 minute ago, fannywatcher said:

Yes,they havent been made with meat since about 1879 or something...Sophie,puff or short pastry?Short for me.

Definitely short pastry. Soooo good. I always drop flakey pastry on my boobs :(

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YE BEEN WARNED

 

SPAMSTAR  activated

 

 

 

FIRE !!!!!!!!!

Edited by spywareonya
FIRE is with fucking capital F-I-R-E

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56 minutes ago, Sophie said:

Definitely short pastry. Soooo good. I always drop flakey pastry on my boobs :(

You say that like it's a bad thing!  Nice to find a little bit extra later on  :8_laughing:

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6 hours ago, fannywatcher said:

Id swap Trump for Mrs May any day.

Be careful what you wish for.  I'm quite happy with Mrs May as it happens.  

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I still have no idea when this thread will close, who will be the lucky winner?

Clock.gif

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Rudolph the well hung reindeer,

Had a great enormous cock,

All he could ever do with it,

was beat it off inside a sock,

All of the female reindeer,

Had pussies that were just too small,

Poor old well hung Rudolph,

Could not get any sex at all,

Then one horny Christmas eve,

Santa came to say,

"Rudolph with your cock so strong...

Fuck my arsehole all night long!"

Then all the reindeer loved him,

A few of them were heard to say,

"Rudolph the well hung reindeer...

You're so lucky Santa's gay"

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A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

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One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. “What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.” The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.” The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?” The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”

 

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