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Twins Part 2


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I really like this story.  But at the same time it's also a bit hard to read, not because of your English, but because of the punctuation.  More paragraphs and some indentation after quotes would make this a lot better reading experience, please consider: https://litreactor.com/columns/talk-it-out-how-to-punctuate-dialogue-in-your-prose

The most important thing I would say is that each dialogue should start a new paragraph.

I really don't wan't to come across as a dick, in fact, I really like this story, and want to continue reading it, but it could use a few small changes.

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Wow. I kind of like where this is going.

But as a fan of girls pissing on carpets - since they are going to be getting rid of them anyway - how about having them piss on the carpets first? Or at least one of them?

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