Writing, then deleting, erotic stories

[1badboy 583]

I have begun, then deleted, far more 'stories' than I have posted.  And I've struggled to finish many of the ones I've posted.  

I have noticed, on PIRR that many of the writers will publish stories -- then quickly delete them.  I guess, like me, they get embarrassed, or feel a little ashamed about what they had written 

A long time ago I started writing a story about two guys in university, who were friends.  Their mother's were nuns, and their fathers incubus's (demons). They were sorcerer's (witches), and they had their slightly evil pervy side to their personality.  They would hang out in the University library watching pervy Japanese porn.  One of the boys cast a spell so that the girls at the University would use the library as their urinal -- and nobody would notice.  Except the head librarian did.  And she turned out to be a very formidable, dangerous, witch.  

I worked, and worked, on the story, then it seemed wrong somehow, and I deleted it.

[1badboy 583]

I suppose this is sort of a continuation of the "Are bad people more often into this kink" tread.  

The story I deleted really was kind of bad.  Maybe writing porn is a little dangerous, or maybe it is a little too easy to get going in the wrong direction.  I had my characters running around casting spells, and basically raping girls in the library. 

And when I started getting rid of the worst parts I realized that manipulating them into peeing in the library was kind of wrong too.

Is porn dangerous?

[Alfresco 11,679]

I guess anyone creative has created things that they are not happy to share with the wider world.  It is part of developing, improving and finding the result you want to deliver.   Just as a potter might create a pot and then decide they are not happy with it so they squash it down and start again, or someone sketching isn’t happy with their drawing so screws it up and fires it towards the bin.

Musical composers write many pieces but only release a few whilst rest are consigned to rubbish and photographers take lots of photographs but only release the best.   Why should story writing be any different?

[Kupar 13,416]

There are a lot of questions you raise. I'm sure porn can be dangerous. But it isn't always. The tension between what you believe to be right or wrong and what you find yourself writing or fantasising about is a very common tension. I'm certain - no, I know - many writers (and non writers) share that feeling. I guess it's part of being human. I hope you find some comfort in that.

❤️

[gldenwetgoose 21,535]

I can relate to the writing and deleting entirely.

But the question - is porn bad, does it influence our way of thinking in a harmful way - or even worse does it lead to actual behaviours which are frankly criminal ?

 

Let's face it, visual porn is the output product of a creative media industry.  Its actors are exactly that - they are acting a part.  Often they are cast just like a Hollywood actor, only in this case for different physical attributes .  They are being directed in their role by someone off camera.  Their actions in the clip or image are manufactured, just like the latest dance phrase or people saying "I'll be backkkk" in an Austrian accent when they leave a room (it used to be a thing...).   And we do see those manufactured trends flowing into amateur porn for sure - does anyone find a girl repeatedly slapping her own arse attractive ?  Is it just me that doesn't ?

That does answer the question is it harmful ?    Does it influence people to think in harmful ways, or to perform actions which are harmful to others (or themselves) ?

In that sense, I think it has to be treated just the same way as any other creative media.   Does playing Call Of Duty make people go on gun rampages, or does watching Gone In Sixty Seconds make people steal cars?    (And I'm talking specifically about adults here).  in a hopefully tiny proportion of cases maybe so.   I'm guessing there are those whose attitudes are shaped in an unhealthy way by what they see in porn.   And we encounter those people here too - the ones who approach our multi faceted community and refer to ladies in derogatory and sexist terms, make demands for them to share images or feel it's in some way acceptable to send explicit messages out-of-the-blue.

On the whole though, most people do treat porn just the same way as any other creative media where they are able to see that actors are playing a role.  A fantasy and a diversion from real life.

(Of course I've generalised in saying 'most' people, there are always those in any context who lack the life experience, mental capacity, judgement or whatever to let them understand the boundaries between fiction and reality - for them porn, fictional violence and crime etc may lead to harmful attitudes.   But do we completely ban something because of that minority?)

[Alpian 704]

I don't typically delete anything I have published, but like @Alfresco writes, there is a lot of time going into editing my stories (twice as much as writing them, I'd guess). And during editing, they may evolve. And there are cases when I don't publish everything I wrote, because my fantasy tends to start with a (sort of) realistical situation and with time the story evolves into more and more unlikely and extreme situations.

As has been mentioned by @Kupar and @gldenwetgoose, to me porn is an outflow of fantasy and it is normal that we fantasize about stuff that doesn't or shouldn't happen in real life. There are many things in my fantasies that I wouldn't want to live through in real life (or my subjects experiencing for real). It has not impacted my take on real life so far, it might even have made me more relaxed in a certain sens.

Interestingly, I often like stories that are close to real life. A little romance, an observation of a woman peeing somewhere, consensual watersports or naughty outdoors peeing. Yet I can't make myself write anything like it (I tried, with the prologue to Pee Tales - there's never been a second chapter despite so many ideas...). Instead, my stories all contain some kind of abuse by ladies peeing where they shouldn't and against the implicite will of their victims. Do I feel bad about it? Yes, sometimes I have the impression I'm promoting behavior I do not actually approve of. But it is also this tension between my emphatic and sensitive side and my faszination for strong somewhat reckless women with a kink for peeing that gives me my best orgasms...

And there seem to be other people out there who feel similar - I just noticed, surprised, that my "Tribute" series has reached "Hot" status for all for chapters on Literotica despite its action being totally wrong, morally! The softer parts of "Bunker Break" and the above mentioned Pee Tales never reached this coveted status. But don't be mistaken: the softer stories other authors published do get a much wider coverage and are read by far greater numbers of people, whilst my stories really are catering to a subset of a subset of kinklovers into pee.

So I don't think that porn per se is bad or makes people bad, but I do understand the moral scruples one might feel when writing / publishing / consuming it.

[Sarah0099 47]

SO, basically i am collage sometime when i get free time i go in boys bathroom for toilet smell idk i like very much i also do fingering while smelling that toilet 

[Alpian 704]

@1badboy, I recently tried to write a story on naughty peeing. It worked fine in my fantasy and I much enjoy stories on the subject, e.g. by @nopjans. But when I actually started writing, it felt like plagiarism: for any idea I had, there is a video somewhere out there.

And then I realized: I write stories to cover those parts of my kink that are not covered by what is "out there" on the web. It's not that my kink is limited to what I write in my stories, but rather that those stories are written because no one has done me the favor of putting them out there before.

So maybe that is also what you observe in your writing: your dreams go beyond what you see in porn, and you put that on (virtual) paper. And then you realize that maybe some of that is not appropriate for the general public's eyes - and you delete it. Is it that?

[DrenchMe 15]

Ha! Interesting topic.

I actually spend a lot of time writing about various subjects, mostly philosophy but also some fiction; I enjoy writing very much in general - EXCEPT when I try to write about my pissy sexual fantasies!

Roughly 100% of the time that effort leads to about 3 or 4 lines worth of narrative, a good deal of time wasted staring at a blank page, and a hasty and frustrated deletion.

I like the IDEA of writing this stuff, but trying to actually do it for me is a Catch-22:

Option (1): I focus on making good prose - you know, trying to use good imagery, have a little stylistic flair, take the time to dig in to the emotions involved, try to toss in an original metaphor here and there... This is the way I would usually write fiction. But when writing smut, my mind can focus on all that for about a solid 20 seconds before it gets frustrated and yells "Hey! I'm goin soft here; you tryin' to give me blue balls or what? I've already conceived and am about to start forgetting the next 3 pages worth of sexy stuff that's going to happen in this story, you plan on catching up with all that in the next minute or so, or what? Cause I don't know what you're doing right now but it's NOT sexy." So then I'm not turned on anymore and the fantasy evaporates; it would appear my mind doesn't have the capacity to focus on the creative act of writing AND be sexually aroused at the same time.

Option (2): I bang out sloppy dialogue and barebones descriptions of events as fast as possible to try to keep pace with the fantasy my mind is rapidly creating, constantly reminding myself to disregard my usual quality standards in order to just get something I can come back and improve on later. Even though I type about 100 WPM my brain still far outpaces my keystrokes just like with option (1), so the strategy doesn't work much better than (1), and the resulting output is so far below my quality standards that re-reading just one sentence sends my inner critic into a nervous breakdown threatening to throw my laptop out my 3rd-story window onto the busy street below before self-immolating in an effort to atone for the sin of having written something so artistically vapid. "Oh man she peed. It was a lot. Then the other girl peed too and it was even more" - I catch a glimpse of something like that and my critic goes "So... Stupid... Terrible... Writing... Can't... read... another... Oh no. God no, NO! GOD! DEAR GOD HAVE YOU NO MERCY!?" After that, I think Darth Vader said it best:

 

So yeah - that's how that whole thing goes for me.

 

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents. I think it's kind of bizarre and hilarious that I consider myself passionate about writing and I'm definitely really into this fetish and have loads of fantasies - yet one thing I absolutely cannot do is write about my fantasies. 😛

Edited December 6 by DrenchMe
Darth

[Kupar 13,416]

9 hours ago, DrenchMe said:

Ha! Interesting topic.

I actually spend a lot of time writing about various subjects, mostly philosophy but also some fiction; I enjoy writing very much in general - EXCEPT when I try to write about my pissy sexual fantasies!

Roughly 100% of the time that effort leads to about 3 or 4 lines worth of narrative, a good deal of time wasted staring at a blank page, and a hasty and frustrated deletion.

I like the IDEA of writing this stuff, but trying to actually do it for me is a Catch-22:

Option (1): I focus on making good prose - you know, trying to use good imagery, have a little stylistic flair, take the time to dig in to the emotions involved, try to toss in an original metaphor here and there... This is the way I would usually write fiction. But when writing smut, my mind can focus on all that for about a solid 20 seconds before it gets frustrated and yells "Hey! I'm goin soft here; you tryin' to give me blue balls or what? I've already conceived and am about to start forgetting the next 3 pages worth of sexy stuff that's going to happen in this story, you plan on catching up with all that in the next minute or so, or what? Cause I don't know what you're doing right now but it's NOT sexy." So then I'm not turned on anymore and the fantasy evaporates; it would appear my mind doesn't have the capacity to focus on the creative act of writing AND be sexually aroused at the same time.

Option (2): I bang out sloppy dialogue and barebones descriptions of events as fast as possible to try to keep pace with the fantasy my mind is rapidly creating, constantly reminding myself to disregard my usual quality standards in order to just get something I can come back and improve on later. Even though I type about 100 WPM my brain still far outpaces my keystrokes just like with option (1), so the strategy doesn't work much better than (1), and the resulting output is so far below my quality standards that re-reading just one sentence sends my inner critic into a nervous breakdown threatening to throw my laptop out my 3rd-story window onto the busy street below before self-immolating in an effort to atone for the sin of having written something so artistically vapid. "Oh man she peed. It was a lot. Then the other girl peed too and it was even more" - I catch a glimpse of something like that and my critic goes "So... Stupid... Terrible... Writing... Can't... read... another... Oh no. God no, NO! GOD! DEAR GOD HAVE YOU NO MERCY!?" After that, I think Darth Vader said it best:

 

So yeah - that's how that whole thing goes for me.

 

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents. I think it's kind of bizarre and hilarious that I consider myself passionate about writing and I'm definitely really into this fetish and have loads of fantasies - yet one thing I absolutely cannot do is write about my fantasies. 😛

Would it help to try and think of your normal writing approach as a lovely long, slow edging session as you fill up and get increasingly desperate? The aim being to reward yourself at the end only if you are disciplined enough?

[Alpian 704]

@DrenchMe & @Kupar, indeed, that is my approach: When writing, I'm like constantly on edge and my fantasy just circles, advances, takes a step back to where I actually am in my writing, runs away again... And it happens every time I read the story again, with the memory of edging all night certainly contributing to the arousal I feel. That is also why I have a hard time estimating how other people experience my stories - is there too much detail, too little? Too often, I repeat myself, replaying hot scenes again, imagining again how the protagonist and / or antagonist feel during the scene, how they design the situation to trap their partner, how they anticipate (or not) what happens next.

And I fully get the quality control taking over and refuting the publication. I am just at a point where I can't decide if I want to delete three pages and just write a summary or if they are truly part of the story required to explain how and why another person is drawn into the action.

@DrenchMe, keep trying please! Your style is promising, I'm curious to read one of your fantasies 🙂