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Do you think cheating is ever hot?


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I've never thought about it as "hot" or not.  I cheated on a couple of girlfriends in the past.  In both cases it was a simple combination of mood, interest and opportunity.  It's also a pretty good indicator of the state of your relationship.  Both of those relationships ended not long after, even though they knew nothing about the cheating. 

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5 hours ago, JackWagon said:

If you did it? If your partner did it? If strangers in videos did it? When is it hot to you?

Actually…an excellent question. 
In my early 20s I was a late bloomer but when I discovered sex I wanted to learn and experiment all I could. So one relationship merged into the next. There were times I was dating several people at once. I enjoyed group sex too.

 
I have never been cheated on, as far as I know, in long term relationships, but I do understand why people do it. Long term relationships are hard and cheating is an escape. Or sometimes love and attraction happen and we tumble into circumstances. 

I would think it would be hot to see my husband with someone else. And perhaps he could learn about how love works for different people by seeing others for a while. 
 

Yes I think its hot in videos too. I like the forbidden romance side of it. 
 

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1 hour ago, randomiser said:

I've never thought about it as "hot" or not.  I cheated on a couple of girlfriends in the past.  In both cases it was a simple combination of mood, interest and opportunity.  It's also a pretty good indicator of the state of your relationship.  Both of those relationships ended not long after, even though they knew nothing about the cheating. 

Yes, usually something is missing in the relationship. 

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7 hours ago, MidoriLemonade85 said:

Yes, usually something is missing in the relationship. 

As both a creator and cheatee, I would gave to agree. In an ideal world, there wou km d be no cheating...

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I've never cheated on my wife physically nor she me, but mentally yes I have, and I don't know if she has.

I think long term relationships sometimes get complacent and vanilla. And the rush and excitement of someone new and being listed over by someone knew is like a drug! And is Hot!

But I love my wife and we have a great relationship,  there isn't much that we don't talk about and we have a good sex life! But sometimes you like to know if you still got it and could turn someone else on so much so they'd be willing to chest with you!

The thought does turn me on! I just don't know if I could ever physically do anything! But I do know a hard dick has no boundaries!!

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Not if i imagine myself being in one way or another involved in it. Others may do what they like. Having different justifications for it. I get the reasoning and the 'why' behind it.

But thats not my mentality. For one because i don't get into random relationships just for the sake of it. If i do, i have to commit 100%. All or nothing. A huge reason (amongst others 🤔😀💫) why i'm not in relationships for the most part, because it has to be IT. Even if a relationship is crumbling i'd rather have a clear and honest cut than artificially keeping a relationship thats not meant to be on a breathing machine. All or nothing.

And if i am commited to someone there is no way i will ever feel the desire to cheat. Not only because i could never intentionally hurt the feelings and trust of someone so close to me, even the thought of that would be the biggest turn off, but i also have to hold myself accountable when i look in the mirror. I'd have to ask myself... if i betray the most important person in my life how can i even trust myself, how am i deserving anyones trust in the future? I wouldn't. I'd hate myself. Thats why i can confidently say it won't happen.

Edited by Remi
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Hot? Yes. Wise? Fair? Honest? Honourable? … uh… not so much. Excusable? Sometimes. It’s not the only way to let your partner down, maybe not even the worst, but it’s the one everyone talks and thinks about

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14 hours ago, Remi said:

Not if i imagine myself being in one way or another involved in it. Others may do what they like. Having different justifications for it. I get the reasoning and the 'why' behind it.

But thats not my mentality. For one because i don't get into random relationships just for the sake of it. If i do, i have to commit 100%. All or nothing. A huge reason (amongst others 🤔😀💫) why i'm not in relationships for the most part, because it has to be IT. Even if a relationship is crumbling i'd rather have a clear and honest cut than artificially keeping a relationship thats not meant to be on a breathing machine. All or nothing.

And if i am commited to someone there is no way i will ever feel the desire to cheat. Not only because i could never intentionally hurt the feelings and trust of someone so close to me, even the thought of that would be the biggest turn off, but i also have to hold myself accountable when i look in the mirror. I'd have to ask myself... if i betray the most important person in my life how can i even trust myself, how am i deserving anyones trust in the future? I wouldn't. I'd hate myself. Thats why i can confidently say it won't happen.

You’re a good person. 💚

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And…following on….this is a question I’ve asked some of my friends…if you could cheat, with someone you really fancied, and you knew you could get away with it, would you do it? Even just once? 

It makes you really dig deep into yourself and how honest you are with yourself. The initial response is the learned one of “I love my partner and don’t want to disappoint them and lose their trust, so I would not do it.”

But when you actually visualise being given the opportunity, I think more than a few generally honest, good, loving people, would dive in. Especially if your crush was keen too. It would be hard to say no and push them away. 

Relationships…marriages…are long. LOOOOONGGGG!!!!!! I am so sure that most married people consider it during all those years of faithfulness. Only a small percentage act on their impulse and take opportunities. 

But…wouldn’t it be nice? Just now and then? I have never cheated on my husband. And before PeeFans, I barely even looked at another man. But being here has shown me how many beautiful, sexy men are out there.

And many have a permanent home in my mind. It’s a nice compromise. 
 

How about you? Would you? 
 

 

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On 10/2/2024 at 1:59 PM, MidoriLemonade85 said:

And…following on….this is a question I’ve asked some of my friends…if you could cheat, with someone you really fancied, and you knew you could get away with it, would you do it? Even just once? 

It makes you really dig deep into yourself and how honest you are with yourself. The initial response is the learned one of “I love my partner and don’t want to disappoint them and lose their trust, so I would not do it.”

But when you actually visualise being given the opportunity, I think more than a few generally honest, good, loving people, would dive in. Especially if your crush was keen too. It would be hard to say no and push them away. 

Relationships…marriages…are long. LOOOOONGGGG!!!!!! I am so sure that most married people consider it during all those years of faithfulness. Only a small percentage act on their impulse and take opportunities. 

Thats an interesting stipulation but at least for me it would still be a no, because i would know it. For me it would come down to the saying 'If you are in a room all by yourself, what would you do?' I have to try and act accordingly to what i think is right and good, even if no one is looking. At least when it comes to something like cheating on a partner. I often wrestle with myself about certain things though especially with this kink.

Relationships can be long and i get that it could be somewhat hard to imagine waking up next to the same person until forever. I've seen some breakups out of the blue because one partner wasn't willing or scared to bond. Its all about what you are used to i think, everyone is different. Reason why i think it wouldn't affect me too much is because i am better at adapting to things and new scenarios than i am at letting them go once i am used to those. 

Like you said, i am also sure a lot of people in faithful relationships at least think about it. And everyone defines 'cheating' different. Some more strict, some more lavish. But thats the thing: I think in a healthy relationship its vital that both partners acknowledge the fact that there are still other attractive people out there. That there are still things that other people do that could be a turn on. Its natural and nothing to be mad about. So having some other people on your mind ocasionally can benefit a long lasting relationship. Because a true relationship is so much more than just that.

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I believe my favorite story ever is Ellie by LeoDaVinci, and I'd consider it full of elements of cheating. In a way that doesn't make me feel bad.

Do I find cheating hot? Not really. Not in itself. But in stories, I like strong women who do what they feel like and cheating can be an element to push the point and make it clear she's out for having fun without second thoughts. So I like some stories where cheating is part of the plot, and I even have some of it in my own stories (e.g. my in Tribute series, the husband and employer and stepfather does get involved with his wife's daughter's tutor, falling for her scheming despite being married).

In real life, it's like @Remi and @MidoriLemonade85 said:

1) What is cheating? Everyone have their own definition, and it is important for couples to get clear about it. In my eyes, I must respect my partner's definition, it is part of the contract. I get to live with her under those conditions she set out. And she gets to be with me under the conditions I define. If both agree, that is the common ground for long happy years together. If not, it might be better to look for someone else.

2) Most societies have established life-long matrimony as a standard. That is long. Living together this long means being honest. Honest also that there are more people that are sexy, attractive or otherwise interesting. Sharing one's preferences. Accepting the partner's kinks and allowing them a way to manage them. Every couple will find their own mechanism to cope (or not).

To me, monogamy is a necessity of societal peace. It is like democracy: the least bad choice among forms of living together. It permits (nearly) everyone to find a partner, it allows us to relax once we have one without being permanently chasing off rivals, it gives us peace of mind for our long-term future and for raising our kids. But it also limits our panoply of sexual choices and experiences. It is a bit like eating the same (favorite) meal every day. Some might wish for variation after a while of indulging. It's normal. And depending on the couple, it might be deemed ok in certain circumstances. Others might prefer not to.

Personnally, I don't think I'm immune to cheating. I might not resist temptation. But I'm willing to respect a partner's desire for monopoly upon my body and try my best not to deceive this trust. And I'd never live with the secret - if it happened, I'd tell her. She's a right to know and decide what consequences arise from it. After all, there are also risks involved, STDs and so on.

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38 minutes ago, Alpian said:

I believe my favorite story ever is Ellie by LeoDaVinci, and I'd consider it full of elements of cheating. In a way that doesn't make me feel bad.

Do I find cheating hot? Not really. Not in itself. But in stories, I like strong women who do what they feel like and cheating can be an element to push the point and make it clear she's out for having fun without second thoughts. So I like some stories where cheating is part of the plot, and I even have some of it in my own stories (e.g. my in Tribute series, the husband and employer and stepfather does get involved with his wife's daughter's tutor, falling for her scheming despite being married).

In real life, it's like @Remi and @MidoriLemonade85 said:

1) What is cheating? Everyone have their own definition, and it is important for couples to get clear about it. In my eyes, I must respect my partner's definition, it is part of the contract. I get to live with her under those conditions she set out. And she gets to be with me under the conditions I define. If both agree, that is the common ground for long happy years together. If not, it might be better to look for someone else.

2) Most societies have established life-long matrimony as a standard. That is long. Living together this long means being honest. Honest also that there are more people that are sexy, attractive or otherwise interesting. Sharing one's preferences. Accepting the partner's kinks and allowing them a way to manage them. Every couple will find their own mechanism to cope (or not).

To me, monogamy is a necessity of societal peace. It is like democracy: the least bad choice among forms of living together. It permits (nearly) everyone to find a partner, it allows us to relax once we have one without being permanently chasing off rivals, it gives us peace of mind for our long-term future and for raising our kids. But it also limits our panoply of sexual choices and experiences. It is a bit like eating the same (favorite) meal every day. Some might wish for variation after a while of indulging. It's normal. And depending on the couple, it might be deemed ok in certain circumstances. Others might prefer not to.

Personnally, I don't think I'm immune to cheating. I might not resist temptation. But I'm willing to respect a partner's desire for monopoly upon my body and try my best not to deceive this trust. And I'd never live with the secret - if it happened, I'd tell her. She's a right to know and decide what consequences arise from it. After all, there are also risks involved, STDs and so on.

Very wisely put. 

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