How to explain the pee-fetish for someone who is not a fetishist

[Moore007 455]

How would you explain your pee-fetish for someone who’s not a fetishist? 
I’m recalling all my dates I’ve had that never understood or who judged me for being turned on by pee. I need pee to get really turned on. Sex without pee is OK but not as exciting as if it involves pee. So many times I’ve heard “I should be enough for you” Why do you need pee? I’ve read through a lot of literature about fetishes and kinks and try to find a comparative similarity for someone without any fetishes. Is having a sexual fetish similar to having a preference for spicy food for example? What do you think? 

[Phyche 435]

I normally start by saying word for word "I don't piss in toilets and always find an alternative place. Whether it be a tree, the wall or just in the middle of the floor, so long as it ain't a toilet." 

They ask why and I tell them, word for word, "idk(with a nonchalant tone), more convenient? It definitely saves water. You know each flush uses roughly 2 gallons of water?" 

Then immediately after saying all that I'll start explaining how my fetish plays into sex. Saying that while I do enjoy getting pissed on while fucking, it's not a necessity and it's completely upto them if they wanna include it. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Keep in mind, this is all explained AFTER asking about their kinks and fetishs and having a conversation about everything they're into. And before I even tell them what my fetish is I say "I really only have one kink and it's kinda strange, not like a foot fetish or anything but still pretty strange, so I'd need you to promise you won't laugh of judge me for it."

And that alone works everytime to stop the judgment and start a conversation about it.

-------------------------------------------------------

As for this kink/fetish being similar to enjoy of spicy foods, YES. (In my opinion)

This kink/fetish is way of spicing things up when have sex, or just adding a bit of spice to your everyday life. So, the concept is pretty much the same.

 

[Kirby23 955]

I've been in this situation (trying to explain it) multiple times with my wife, who has no fetishes, and is not particularly into sex in the first place.

I like the metaphor of spicy food, and that actually works for me because I do in fact enjoy spicy food. It doesn't mean that I don't enjoy regular food, but I also enjoy "spice"!

 

[IdoPiddleSome2 10]

(with respect)

IMO Pee is a special case b/c we're Mammals. Pee (as part of mating-rituals) is in our DNA whether we're actively aware of it or not. We respond to it on levels we might not recognize; it's still there. This time of year, I respond to a host of airborne allergens I don't actively sense (but, I guarantee you with every sneezing-fit they are still quite real). Can't say the same for body-types or body-parts some find sexy & others don't (FWIW I love to see a lady my age whose Boobs seem to be embracing her Tummy as thay hang like nigh-empty Saddlebags). I know I love to see Exhibitionist-photos of such a lass & I know that's a me-specific preference not everyone may share. Ditto a lady (in my age-range; Ambulatory or not)) shamelessly displaying a Pee-bag with its tube going up into whatever-else she's wearing! But I have a sense I'm responding to PEE on levels beyond what I'm consciously formatted to understand. Best regards!

[Carb0nBased 647]

I would explain it like this... being naked with a partner is sexual in part because we normally cover certain parts of our bodies with clothes, so having them uncovered is rare and exciting. In the rather unlikely chance your partner is a nudist and this doesn't ring true to them, you could say that touching someone's pelvic area or breasts is sexually exciting in part because we don't normally touch those parts of a random person's body--as far as I'm aware even nudists have boundaries around touch. So then it's not so much or a stretch that peeing, another activity that is commonly hidden (and involves some of the same body parts) could be sexual as well. It's also something that men and women commonly do in quite different ways. And then peeing involves sometimes strong urges/sensations in the body, just like sex does.  Then there's the point that IdoPiddleSome2 brought up, that urine, and the scent of it, is commonly used to attract partners among mammals. And pee is a part of the "essence" of another person, in the same way that the taste of someone's mouth is when kissing, the smell of a partner's skin, or a man's cum or a woman's wetness is. So when you put this all together, it really isn't all that surprising.

IMO it's actually much easier to explain a pee fetish than it is to explain a foot fetish, which has to do with an otherwise completely nonsexual body part that people (at least in the summer on the beach) often leave uncovered, there are no real significant sensations that originate in the feet (walking on sharp rocks notwithstanding--otherwise we, or at least I, commonly "forget" we HAVE feet), is not particularly taboo to touch, and is relatively similar between men and women. The same goes for fetishes like popping balloons, leather, etc.

[WetWilly 0]

I would suggest that it might be the case that you maybe don't NEED to explain it ahead of time; perhaps it might even be better to avoid explaining in advance. If they WANT an explanation, they'll ask, and then you can give it.

I've personally had success with just asking point blank to get peed on after round 1 sex. That way, if you've done your job right, your partner is sure to be in a sexy mood and might even feel like they're willing to try it just to please you. Asking spur-of-the-moment comes across as a spontaneous and adventurous suggestion, rather than demanding or pleading. Spontaneous and adventurous = fun and sexy; demanding and/or pleading = uncomfortable and un-sexy.
When you ask, try to be nonchalant about it if you can, almost like you just now thought of it for the first time as something you want to try. I would specifically ask them to do it in the bathtub/shower to minimize the chance that they'll feel uncomfortable about making a mess. I think that will give you the best chance of getting a yes.
Of course they might turn you down; if so, then my advice is to back off immediately, don't push it at all, don't bring it up again for AT LEAST a week, and make sure you continue to satisfy them completely. The logic here is that, if you do a great job pleasing your partner, then (if they're a good partner) they'll want to please you in return; they might just need a bit of time to get comfortable with the idea on their own.

If you're going to explain it, I have a few thoughts. (1) I would be sure to tell them at some point that pee is completely sterile (it's important to know that pee play will never make anybody sick, and lots of people don't know that already). (2) I would recommend you offer to always be the one to take care of any cleanup that might be necessary (I'm sure you'll agree it's TOTALLY worth it). (3) As for what you said about needing pee to get really turned on, and how you feel like sex without pee is disappointing in comparison - hey man, I get it, NOTHING turns me on like pee does, but I would urge you to keep those comments to yourself if at all possible, reason being I think it's gonna come across as insulting even though you don't mean it as an insult (my guess is that's why you got the "I should be enough for you" response). Other than that just be your authentic self and tell her what you want.

Just my two cents but again this has worked for me a few times. More often than not, actually.

All that being said, bear in mind that some people are just never going to be willing. In that case, you'll have to choose either to give up on pee sex, or give up on that particular partner.

Now go get that sweet piss my friend! 😎

Edited May 16 by WetWilly

[gldenwetgoose 21,495]

It's a really interesting question, and one that does come around reasonably regularly - so you may find some other helpful responses from a site search (note that you can use quotation marks and advanced search for phrases).

I note that you've asked about telling someone who's a non-fetishist.   And you've mentioned previous dates, so I and some of the other responses are all assuming we're talking about introducing and explaining our interest to a sexual partner who isn't into (or hasn't opened up about) any kinks.    There's a bit of a catch-22 as other people have hinted, and I know certain members have experienced.   You want to be honest and upfront about yourself.  Not just from a 'getting some action' perspective, but that it seems the right thing to do to be honest from the outset.   But conversely, the longer you know someone, the more you'll trust them - that they aren't going to kink shame or similarly humiliate you.

My thoughts and suggestions would be:

- Put yourself in their perspective - "watersports" doesn't have a great reputation and is widely misunderstood outside our community.   We all know that every one of us has a subtly different take on our kink, different things that tick our box.  It's like me saying "I like cars"....     Driving cars?   Next generation hypercars or vintage cars?   Motor-racing ?   Rallying ?  Maintaining my own?   Or am I talking building model cars?   See what I mean ?    So, if you said you were into pee, in your mind you may be about to go on to say that your fantasy is to see them shyly giggling as they wee on your hand or leg in the shower - but at the first half sentence they immediately jumped to THEIR perception - thinking you're some kind of sicko who intends to tie them up, degrade and waterboard them with disgusting smelly piss.  Because that's what they think your kink is.

- You've said they're a non-fetishist.  Again that may be their perception of what a fetish is...   And during the sort of pillow-talk conversation, what are their fantasies ?   I don't mean anything wild, just a gentle interest...  something they've thought about but not been brave enough or had the opportunity to do.   Maybe making out under the stars, maybe an impromptu being fondled somewhere public.   Maybe they get a tingle seeing someone in leather trousers.   Things that you can role-play on and build into your fun time together.   They may not have formulated what it is that really works for them, but they deserve to be indulged.  They may be harbouring that kink because it seems silly and they're embarrassed about confessing - does that sound familiar ?  But if they're happy to open up, then it gives you chance to do the same.

- Choose your moment carefully - not when they're in the kitchen with a sharp cleaver in their hand.  I'm joking - but a moment when they're receptive.   I used the term pillow-talk in the previous point for a deliberate reason.

- I don't know, but it feels like the whole pee thing may be more easily accepted if you put it in a way 'it's strange, and I've no idea why, but...' because let's face it - many of us don't really know what reasons we find pee so attractive.  It just seems like it's easier to accept than if we're blunt about 'this is what I want'.

- Keep it varied - you know and I know that pee talk / play is the cherry on top of the icing (frosting) on top of the cake.   But if it becomes apparent they have to play that game every single time, it could get very wearying very quickly.  And could be quite a turn-off for them.   As opposed to something that's running through your mind, encouraging you, and being brought into the open now and then.