Real life confrontations - sightings make me feel bad

[velwetleaf 30]

I've had a pee fetish as long as I (f) can remember. It's mainly centered around men peeing especially publicly and naughtily but each time I witness it in real life I get upset and feel bad about myself.

I'm jealous that it seems to be such an easy and widely accepted thing to do for men (at least around here), while I'm afraid I couldn't do the same without people getting mad or being shocked. It's gotten to the point I can't truly enjoy this fetish anymore :(

I would really like to start peeing outside as well but I'm just so afraid I'll get caught and confronted about it.

Has anybody ever experienced something similar? Where could this stem from and what could I do about it?

 

[Thiscouldbeanywhere 381]

Why do think you feel bad about yourself?

If it's something you enjoy, you should just learn to embrace it

Most men don't mind being watched, that's why we pee so openly, don't feel bad about enjoying the show

You're in the right place to build confidence that what you're into is nothing to be ashamed of

[nenTyp 657]

Since it is rarer for women to pee outside, most people I know would assume its born from deperation, so I think you will be judged less than men.

Even without that reason there is nothing to be ashamed of about pee, its just part of human nature. 

Some sexists might say it is not ladylike but no one should take their arguents seriously.

You can choose safe areas for the first pees to get used to it.

 

 

 

 

Edited August 21, 2023 by nenTyp

[nenTyp 657]

When I want to do naughty pees I habe the same fear, i guess its just the internalized taboo and gerneral aversion to social shunning. For women a misogenistic apect is prpbably part of it.  Ypu can overcome all of these by realising your wants count more than some stuffy stigmas, some of which only developed recently anyways.

Here we will be proud of you, that is certain.

[Loller 399]

As a guy, I wouldn't actively try to pee in public so that I can be easily seen. I like some privacy so I prefer to walk to the side away from other people and try to find a bush or a tree or something. Trust me, guys who pee too openly can certainly get confronted sometimes, atleast in the form of nasty comments made by people passing them by.

[gldenwetgoose 21,497]

15 hours ago, velwetleaf said:

I've had a pee fetish as long as I (f) can remember. It's mainly centered around men peeing especially publicly and naughtily but each time I witness it in real life I get upset and feel bad about myself.

I'm jealous that it seems to be such an easy and widely accepted thing to do for men (at least around here), while I'm afraid I couldn't do the same without people getting mad or being shocked. It's gotten to the point I can't truly enjoy this fetish anymore 😞

I would really like to start peeing outside as well but I'm just so afraid I'll get caught and confronted about it.

Has anybody ever experienced something similar? Where could this stem from and what could I do about it?

 

Welcome to this community @velwetleaf - full of likeminded folks to make you feel at home.

I can relate to some of your post (as a guy I apologise for how easy and carefree we can make it look).   But in terms of that feeling bad, I know exactly what you mean.   I'll spend quite a lot of my time thinking about pee related topics...  driving around town and wondering if anyone has stopped in that sidestreet for much needed relief, wondering if there are tissues discarded in that alleyway indicating someone's emergency toilet.   In my case the interest is in ladies peeing, but I think it translates.

In the case though where I get fully aroused, which as circumstances dictate is on my own watching clips, pics or re-living past moments, then as soon as I'm done I often find myself switched off.  Thinking about why we have this fetish, what most other people would think.  There are many fetishes that I don't enjoy, some repulsive and others just not my thing - so why should anyone enjoy someone peeing?

But over time I've accepted that this is my kink, it is what it is and who is anyone else to question it.  And if it's none of anyone else's business then why should I beat myself up over it either.

On the site here there are many different people with many different aspects and preferences to the kink.  For many their enjoyment does come from other people peeing - and many on this site would be more that willing to support your side of the kink.

 

On your point about wanting to pee outside but being afraid of being confronted...   I don't know if you're in the city or countryside?   If you have access to open spaces - large parks, nature reserves, deserted beaches, fields then it's quite easy to get well out of sight of anyone else.   In a city it's possible to be almost invisible too - people don't notice if they don't see anything out of the ordinary.

A lot of porn features girls who seem to want to be entirely naked to pee - but that's simply not necessary.   An option could be a summer dress or skirt, sitting on the grass in a park at lunchtime.  Anyone would see you reading a book and not enjoying a wee into the grass.  Or crouching to tie your shoelace, or waiting for a bus... 

[WetMart 1,128]

There no need to feel bad about yourself. Peeing outside can be enjoyable and if you’re in the city or a rural area you can often pee while appearing to do something else like standing checking your mobile phone , or squatting to tie your shoe lace. 
 

 

[WateryMoose 358]

On 8/21/2023 at 10:49 PM, velwetleaf said:

I've had a pee fetish as long as I (f) can remember. It's mainly centered around men peeing especially publicly and naughtily but each time I witness it in real life I get upset and feel bad about myself.

I'm jealous that it seems to be such an easy and widely accepted thing to do for men (at least around here), while I'm afraid I couldn't do the same without people getting mad or being shocked. It's gotten to the point I can't truly enjoy this fetish anymore 😞

I would really like to start peeing outside as well but I'm just so afraid I'll get caught and confronted about it.

Has anybody ever experienced something similar? Where could this stem from and what could I do about it?

 

As Goose said it, I don't think people would "really" care, except you do it in the middle of a plaza or something. You say you come from Europe on your profile so I get it why you say it's more accepted for men than women, but this is only a matter of occurrences. If I were to be a bypasser and saw a women squatting and peeing between two parked cars or something, I'd tell myself it was rather out of emergency than for spicy stuff, so really, no need to feel bad about yourself. And by the way, welcome on board 😄

[velwetleaf 30]

8 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Welcome to this community @velwetleaf - full of likeminded folks to make you feel at home.

I can relate to some of your post (as a guy I apologise for how easy and carefree we can make it look).   But in terms of that feeling bad, I know exactly what you mean.   I'll spend quite a lot of my time thinking about pee related topics...  driving around town and wondering if anyone has stopped in that sidestreet for much needed relief, wondering if there are tissues discarded in that alleyway indicating someone's emergency toilet.   In my case the interest is in ladies peeing, but I think it translates.

In the case though where I get fully aroused, which as circumstances dictate is on my own watching clips, pics or re-living past moments, then as soon as I'm done I often find myself switched off.  Thinking about why we have this fetish, what most other people would think.  There are many fetishes that I don't enjoy, some repulsive and others just not my thing - so why should anyone enjoy someone peeing?

But over time I've accepted that this is my kink, it is what it is and who is anyone else to question it.  And if it's none of anyone else's business then why should I beat myself up over it either.

On the site here there are many different people with many different aspects and preferences to the kink.  For many their enjoyment does come from other people peeing - and many on this site would be more that willing to support your side of the kink.

 

On your point about wanting to pee outside but being afraid of being confronted...   I don't know if you're in the city or countryside?   If you have access to open spaces - large parks, nature reserves, deserted beaches, fields then it's quite easy to get well out of sight of anyone else.   In a city it's possible to be almost invisible too - people don't notice if they don't see anything out of the ordinary.

A lot of porn features girls who seem to want to be entirely naked to pee - but that's simply not necessary.   An option could be a summer dress or skirt, sitting on the grass in a park at lunchtime.  Anyone would see you reading a book and not enjoying a wee into the grass.  Or crouching to tie your shoelace, or waiting for a bus... 

I live in the city and don't go out much so the number of opportunities with a low risk of getting caught is low. But I'm planning to do more bike trips into the countryside and using that as an chance to get more comfortable about peeing somewhere else than a toilet.

About the thinking about pee things a lot - yeah, I think I know what you mean.

A couple of days ago I was at a train station and as soon as I got into the underpass connecting the platforms the smell hit me. It was rather gloomy and branching off from the main tunnel there were little almost seperate dark rooms for the elevators. The floor looked wet and I was sooo tempted to have a look around and see what people had left behind. Unfortunately the station was too busy for that and you can't simply just lurk about in dark piss corners without people getting weirded out.

[WateryMoose 358]

4 minutes ago, velwetleaf said:

I live in the city and don't go out much so the number of opportunities with a low risk of getting caught is low. But I'm planning to do more bike trips into the countryside and using that as an chance to get more comfortable about peeing somewhere else than a toilet.

About the thinking about pee things a lot - yeah, I think I know what you mean.

A couple of days ago I was at a train station and as soon as I got into the underpass connecting the platforms the smell hit me. It was rather gloomy and branching off from the main tunnel there were little almost seperate dark rooms for the elevators. The floor looked wet and I was sooo tempted to have a look around and see what people had left behind. Unfortunately the station was too busy for that and you can't simply just lurk about in dark piss corners without people getting weirded out.

Well I can only encourage you and wish you the best for your possibly incoming pee adventures!

As for the train station, I must admit I've used such corners a bit 😅but unless it was densely packed, I think you could probably sneak a look to see if puddles or tissues are present

[WetMart 1,128]

14 minutes ago, velwetleaf said:

I live in the city and don't go out much so the number of opportunities with a low risk of getting caught is low. But I'm planning to do more bike trips into the countryside and using that as a chance to get more comfortable about peeing somewhere else than a toilet.

 

Out in the countryside you will have plenty of opportunities to pee , welcome to the site by the way

[Thiscouldbeanywhere 381]

30 minutes ago, velwetleaf said:

 

A couple of days ago I was at a train station and as soon as I got into the underpass connecting the platforms the smell hit me. It was rather gloomy and branching off from the main tunnel there were little almost seperate dark rooms for the elevators. The floor looked wet and I was sooo tempted to have a look around and see what people had left behind. Unfortunately the station was too busy for that and you can't simply just lurk about in dark piss corners without people getting weirded out.

Most likely a man had pissed there

To bad you missed the show 😈😏

[jacob_puddleman 35]

On 8/21/2023 at 1:49 PM, velwetleaf said:

Has anybody ever experienced something similar? Where could this stem from and what could I do about it?

I think it’s normal to have been conditioned to feel embarrassed or ashamed about any act normally done behind closed doors. I think there’s a lot of complicated patriarchal reasons why women peeing in public is much more frowned upon, but a big one comes down to the privacy advantages of anatomy—people with penises are not required to fully remove as many garments as people with vaginas, and the act of exposing your entire ass is very vulnerable and more-or-less frowned upon in public. 

For me, getting curious about my anxiety around the issue has been helpful. What am I actually concerned about when I consider peeing in public? What is the nightmare scenario that scares me so much? What precautions can I take to avoid that nightmare so I can still do what I want to do? It might be worth delving into what about confrontation frightens you so much and visualizing how you would feel if that really happened to you. 

Being honest and specific about these fears helped me figure out what I needed to do to feel safe while peeing somewhere new. I found a lot of my anxiety was around accidentally peeing near/on someone sleeping outside, being stumbled upon but not being able to stop my stream, or peeing somewhere so public that I am seen and judged by multiple people. Therefore, I do my research before I go—I look at street view of where I’m going to be and find a few potential spots, then scope them out in person to make sure they meet my safety standards. It’s a work in progress, but it’s enlightening to know what I’m afraid of and what I can do to somewhat manage it.

[velwetleaf 30]

I believe my biggest fears are people confronting me/telling me to stop or judging me. My ultimate goal is to be more spontaneous and bold about peeing, basically just going anywhere I want to.

But what especially frustrates me is the fear for being judged while if a guy did it people would shrug it off. For example: I'm not bold enough for that yet but if I had taken a piss in that that dark elevator corner maybe some people passing by would have thought it's gross but nothing more.

But picture this situation: Some time ago I'm waiting for my train to leave when a big group of football fans (men and women) arrives. While we are waiting for people to get on a guy goes to the other side of the platform and starts pissing down onto the tracks right in front another train. And pretty soon some other men join him. I had a premium view of the scene but instead of enjoying it I felt left out and thought "They can do this but I can't". That happens every time when I see guys pee and it's annoying. I'm really curious what would have happend if one of the girls just squatted down beside them, haha. There was police standing by but they let the guys get away with it so they couldn't really not let a woman get away with it, could they?

I guess I have no other choice than taking small steps towards my own pee freedom 😎.

[Remi 1,034]

Maybe your own perceptions are hindering you a bit. If you constantly think about how people would negatively view you it will manifest itself. And everytime you have a sighting or just want to go you have those negative thoughts in your head. 

7 hours ago, velwetleaf said:

But picture this situation: Some time ago I'm waiting for my train to leave when a big group of football fans (men and women) arrives. While we are waiting for people to get on a guy goes to the other side of the platform and starts pissing down onto the tracks right in front another train. And pretty soon some other men join him. I had a premium view of the scene but instead of enjoying it I felt left out and thought "They can do this but I can't". That happens every time when I see guys pee and it's annoying. I'm really curious what would have happend if one of the girls just squatted down beside them, haha. There was police standing by but they let the guys get away with it so they couldn't really not let a woman get away with it, could they?

Of course they could let a woman get away with it when the guys do the same. Police was probably just there to ensure everything stays peaceful with those fans so they didn't care. Thats what i'm guessing with certain kinds of police here in germany surrounding those football fans. Look up those festival peeing/ street carnival peeing videos where women just pee wherever. Sometimes next to men and no one in this circle seems to care. They go inbetween cars or right on the sidewalk as people just walk by. The other circle, the resident that watches from his/her window as people use the doorsteps on his street as a toilet probably views both, men and women, as filthy pigs. (Except the case he/she is registered here😅) The risk to be judged negatively is always there and also the risk of getting fined. Maybe if one women started to pee right next to the guys other girls would follow. Sometimes all it needs is a pioneer to path the way. Maybe one day you will be the leader that boldly takes a piss on the train platform while inspiring other women in the act. 'Hey, she is right, why hold in?'

7 hours ago, velwetleaf said:

I believe my biggest fears are people confronting me/telling me to stop or judging me. My ultimate goal is to be more spontaneous and bold about peeing, basically just going anywhere I want to.

But what especially frustrates me is the fear for being judged while if a guy did it people would shrug it off. For example: I'm not bold enough for that yet but if I had taken a piss in that that dark elevator corner maybe some people passing by would have thought it's gross but nothing more.

You can always say sorry and that you had no other choice. Of course, that depends on the circumstances..on the floor next to the toilet no one will believe the lack of choices 😅 but in that scenario the risk of getting caught is lower anyways. And in most other surroundings you will find places where the risk is low aswell. I can relate to the feeling where the boldness or spontaniousness just wasn't there even though i wished for it. It takes a little time to get used to it.

Once you start collecting and connecting positive feelings during those events it will get easier every time. From 'why can he piss there, i could never' and the regrets that come with it to 'wow that was so exciting and felt so good, glad i did it' after you finally pissed where you wanted to. Those feelings of joy will feel so good that soon after the desire for those may overshadow or completely erase any intrusive negative thoughts!

So in the end i can just encourage you to stop worrying about what others may think. Most of the time you won't get caught anyways if you don't force it as you seem to be very cautious. I doubt that anyone will view you any harsher if they found you pissing in an elevator than a guy for doing the same. And if they do: Eff them! Peeing fun is for everyone 😅 All it takes is, as you said, taking those little steps towards your own peeing freedom! 

Edited August 23, 2023 by Remi

[nenTyp 657]

12 hours ago, velwetleaf said:

I believe my biggest fears are people confronting me/telling me to stop or judging me. My ultimate goal is to be more spontaneous and bold about peeing, basically just going anywhere I want to.

But what especially frustrates me is the fear for being judged while if a guy did it people would shrug it off. For example: I'm not bold enough for that yet but if I had taken a piss in that that dark elevator corner maybe some people passing by would have thought it's gross but nothing more.

But picture this situation: Some time ago I'm waiting for my train to leave when a big group of football fans (men and women) arrives. While we are waiting for people to get on a guy goes to the other side of the platform and starts pissing down onto the tracks right in front another train. And pretty soon some other men join him. I had a premium view of the scene but instead of enjoying it I felt left out and thought "They can do this but I can't". That happens every time when I see guys pee and it's annoying. I'm really curious what would have happend if one of the girls just squatted down beside them, haha. There was police standing by but they let the guys get away with it so they couldn't really not let a woman get away with it, could they?

I guess I have no other choice than taking small steps towards my own pee freedom 😎.

In all honestly I think at least the peeing guys would have cheered. 

People will judge you for anything, even as little as how you look while walking down the street.

Peeing in public is like many things about confidence and insisting that your wants and needs matter more than peoples thaughts.

Btw for the country side pees. Try to geld bolder by peeing on paths, first small barely ised ones and work yourself up to streets.

Hunting Lookouts, Bus shelters, in the middle of nowhere and bridges are also fun ways to get into peeing in, on or off infrastructure repectively.😌

[Horse_water 636]

On 8/21/2023 at 3:49 PM, velwetleaf said:

I've had a pee fetish as long as I (f) can remember. It's mainly centered around men peeing especially publicly and naughtily but each time I witness it in real life I get upset and feel bad about myself.

I'm jealous that it seems to be such an easy and widely accepted thing to do for men (at least around here), while I'm afraid I couldn't do the same without people getting mad or being shocked. It's gotten to the point I can't truly enjoy this fetish anymore 😞

I would really like to start peeing outside as well but I'm just so afraid I'll get caught and confronted about it.

Has anybody ever experienced something similar? Where could this stem from and what could I do about it?

 

I don't know where you live or what the culture is like. However I wonder if you have objectively thought about the likely outcome of getting caught. Yes the worst case scenarios can happen but what is the likely scenario? Judgment by others is an inescapable part of life but it is your life and you have to live it. Do the things you can live with doing. I personally have been caught and yelled at once. I was pissing on a wall in a parking lot and a homeless guy riding by on a bike stopped and yelled at me to go piss on a tree instead (lol). It could have been worse but in hind site its funny.  Now if I got caught, was arrested, convicted as a sex offender and fired from my job I would be pretty upset. But that is the worst case outcome and I don't piss in places that are likely to generate that response.

I hope you find a way to enjoy things and make peace.

[Horse_water 636]

On 8/22/2023 at 6:04 AM, Loller said:

As a guy, I wouldn't actively try to pee in public so that I can be easily seen. I like some privacy so I prefer to walk to the side away from other people and try to find a bush or a tree or something. Trust me, guys who pee too openly can certainly get confronted sometimes, atleast in the form of nasty comments made by people passing them by.

IMO guys in the US/CA are definitely more likely to be called out or given a hard time. or generally punished than women.  Its generally women being naughty/lewd = hot, men doing the same = creepy weird. 

[Havelock 1,526]

Where are you based in the EU? Many EU countries are actually quite open to women peeing, especially at night after drinking or during festivals. Perhaps you should go to Spain during festivals or Cologne for Carnival etc..

[Wolfpee 329]

I think you worrie and compare to much. Plus woman do pee alot like men do but they are just better at hiding it. Maybe go somewhere where there's tress or loads of bush and just have a quick explore and see if you feel safe to have a quick pee. Bring a friend to keep a watch out if your OK with that or try the pool, beach ect start of small and build your way up and learn to be more crafty too. And if anyone stop and ask just said u have a weak bladder or pregnant. People don't tend to speak to you upfront if you get caught they may have spotted you but won't say anything. 

[velwetleaf 30]

On 8/26/2023 at 6:57 AM, Havelock said:

Where are you based in the EU? Many EU countries are actually quite open to women peeing, especially at night after drinking or during festivals. Perhaps you should go to Spain during festivals or Cologne for Carnival etc..

While I believe it is more common for men to pee in public than for women around here, of course those kinds of events would be the most likely place to witness women doing thier business outside and nobody diving a damn. However I tend to avoid huge crowds of people if alcohol is involved so I guess that explains why I've only ever seen men peeing in public and never women.

And maybe it's also my own bias. When I pass trough an alley or a stair case that smells of piss I might tend to assume that only guys left thier mark there while in reality women contributed to it as well.

[Havelock 1,526]

17 hours ago, velwetleaf said:

While I believe it is more common for men to pee in public than for women around here, of course those kinds of events would be the most likely place to witness women doing thier business outside and nobody diving a damn. However I tend to avoid huge crowds of people if alcohol is involved so I guess that explains why I've only ever seen men peeing in public and never women.

And maybe it's also my own bias. When I pass trough an alley or a stair case that smells of piss I might tend to assume that only guys left thier mark there while in reality women contributed to it as well.

Did you grow up in the EU? My experience spending time growing up in Spain, France and Germany was that peeing outside was equally acceptable in both genders. 

[qrick 95]

I enjoy the thrill of being seen. Maybe you could learn to like it. Pee somewhere semi private, where you could be seen by from a distance. It can build your confidence up. 

 

If you get caught, just say sorry i was really despirate. People are understanding