Jump to content

Right to Relief

Recommended Posts

It was a normal Monday morning. Jess, Laura, and Abbie arrived to work at their garment factory as they usually would, and sat themselves in the break area. Jess grabbed their 3 mugs out of the tea cupboard and began to brew up 3 cups of tea. Each enjoyed theirs slightly differently. Laura enjoyed a strong sugar free brew, Abbie loved a milky sugar free, and Jess loved a strong brew with 1 sugar.

It wasn't long after they had settled themselves down with their teas that Tina, the manager arrived into the break area.

"Morning girls!" Her voice instantly over powered the 3 of them. Tina stood firm in the doorway of the break area. She was wearing her usual black pencil skirt, white blouse and ankle boots.

"Morning Tina. How are you?" Replied Jess in her sweet voice. She always got on well with the boss as she was often the least rebelious and hardest working in the team.

"Good thanks. I'm not going to sugar coat what I'm about to say, but we've had some bad news. I thought it should come from me rather than head office. We are having to loose a worker from the team to save money." Laura, Jess, and Abbie all looked shocked. Tina responded quickly to calm their panic. "Don't worry! It's none of you, but we are going to have to change a few things to keep this place running profitably."

The three girls all looked a little worried. This was shocking news for a Monday morning, and the attitude in the break area had changed very abruptly.

"Seeing as we are loosing one of our machinists, you three are unfortunately going to have to pick up the slack. I have done the maths, and with the speed you 3 work I think we'll be able to just about make it."

"How much more are you expecting us to do?!" Demanded Laura in a rebelious tone.

"Well, I've done the maths. It works out that if none of you take breaks, and you drink and eat while working you can just about make it work!"

"What do you mean no breaks?!" Demanded Abbie.

"Exactly what I said Abbie!" Replied Tina. "No breaks, eat and drink at the machine. I'll make sure to keep you in supply of tea and biscuits."

"Well what happens if I have to pee?!" Said Laura in a joking manor, almost as if she was expecting a reasonable response.

"I don't know. I suppose you'll have to just hold it!"

"Hold it?! Our shifts are 8 hours long!" For the first time ever, Jess had snapped back at Tina.

"Well, it's either that, or pee yourself. Look, if we don't hit our targets we'll end up all loosing our jobs! You know how competative it is in this market! There are places all over the world doing this and we need to become more streamlined! If that means holding our pee then we'll just have to deal with it!"

"What if we refuse? What if we just walk off and go to the toilet?!" Laura couldn't believe she would ever had to utter those words at work.

"Well, there won't be a toilet. To stop that temptation from ever happening, I am getting the toilets removed immediately. I can't have people messing up our huge orders just to go and have a little tinkle whenver their bladders get a little full. I'll be bringing round new contracts for you all to sign that states your acceptance of having your breaks removed. You don't have to sign them, but if you don't I'll be forced to find someone new!" Tina turned and walked out of the room.

"Who does she think she is? Hold it in?! Pee ourselves?! Is she serious?!" Piped up Abbie sipping her tea between each question. "We'll have to do away with drinking these if we stand any chance of keeping our selves dry!"

"She's joking? Surely it must be some horrible way of motivating us?" Suggested Jess, struggling to justify Tina's very strange behaivour.

"Doesn't look like it!" Muttered Abbie, pointing at a pair of men in overalls walking into the toilets. Tina followed close behind with 3 peices of paper, one with each girls names on them.

"You can't be serious?!" Shouted Laura, looking sternly at Tina in the doorway. "You want us to literally sign away our right to relieve ourselves!"

"Well, put bluntly, yes." Replied Tina looking sternly at the 3 girls. "I wish I was joking, but this is the only way we'll hit our targets and stay profitable. I'll leave you to read the contract and think about it." She whisked away to go and chat with the builders.

The 3 girls looked at the peices of paper. The writing was firm, short, and straight to the point.
"I ........... (print name) Hearby declare that I give up my right for all break times during my contracted working hours. I agree that I will continue working through the entire 8 hour shift period regardless of the requirement of bodily functions. Signed ..........."

They all looked at each other with worried expressions on their faces.

"I can't afford to loose this Job! I have a house and car to pay for. We all have! I don't see what choices we have!" Jess muttered, looking worryingly at the builders removing the toilets as she spoke.

"Me neither" Piped up Abbie "It'll be a nightmare getting a job this well paying anywhere else! Our skillset is so niche!"

"You can't be serious? Are you actually thinking about signing it?" Snapped Laura. "We'll literally have to work 8 hours solid, regardless of whether our bladders can hold it or not!"

"I don't think we have much choice Laura, she seems dead serious! It must have cost a forture just to get those builders in!"

Jess grabbed the pen that Tina had placed on the table. She began to slowly fill her name in print at the top.

"Jess no! If none of us sign it then she can't run this place!" Snapped Laura again.

"She can, you know she can, she'll just find someone else. Ever since DeltaSew closed down people have been applying for jobs here all the time." She continued filling her name in on the sheet.

"You are literally signing a peice of paper to say you'll wet yourself! You will have to sit and work in pissy panties!"

"I have no choice, at least until I can sort out another job." Jess finished signing the paper. Then looked up at Abbie and Laura. "I better get to work." She walked off to her machine.

Abbie grabbed the pen as well and began to write.

"You as well? Come on Abbie stick with me on this! She can't make us do this!"

"I don't think we have a choice." Abbie said quietly as she signed the sheet. "It looks like we'll just have to get really good at holding."

Laura didn't know what else she could do. She placed pen to paper and signed into the contract. As soon as she had finished, she regreted the large mug of tea. It looked like her first toilet free day would be a wet one.


  • Like 2
  • Love 1
Link to post
Posted (edited)

@wetwulf (Here it is).

Jess was first to begin her work. She sat slowly threading her sewing machine, watching closely as the builders carried the last toilets out from the bathrooms. Abbie slowly walked back in and settled at the machine next to Jess. She leaned over and whispered to her friend.

"Jess, I don't know how I'm going to do this! There's no way I'll be able to hold all day. I already need to pee quite a bit"

"Me neither." Replied Jess, while threading her needle. "I'll either have to pee on the floor or in my panties at this rate!"

"How can Tina expect us to be able to hold all shift? Surely she will have to pee at some point?"

"I doubt it." Replied Tina in a stern voice. She had come into the workshop and was standing tall behind them all. She stroke around in front of them, with her hands together in front of her. "Unlike you lot, I have self control over my bladder. If I should want to, I could demand that my pee muscles stay clamped shut all shift. My bladder is obedient and well trained, it will hold." She turned and walked off. As she walked out she smiled at Laura who had now finished signing her sheet. Laura didn't return the smile, then slumped onto her chair next to Jess.

"What did the witch want?" Snapped Laura.

"Nothing, she just said she's got better control over her bladder than us 3. Said she can go all shift without peeing easily."

"Doubt it!  I bet she'll be sneaking off whenever she has to pee. She'll probably go to the cafe next door or something."

"Yeah you're probably right. Keep an eye on her today! I bet you she sneaks away for a pee. I don't know about you girls, but I doubt I'll be able to hold it all shift today." Whispered Abbie. Laura and Jess just looked anxious and got their heads down, determined to focus on their work rather than their bladders.

The morning passed uneventfully. Each girl focussed solely on their work. At various points during the morning, Tina had the packing worker bring glasses of water and mugs of tea to the girls. By mid day, only 3 hours in, Jess, Laura, and Abbie had all drank 2 cups of tea and 2 glasses of water. It was almost as if Tina was purposely testing them! There was also still a thought in the back of their minds that there is no way this was possible and that if they asked nicely they'd be able to go and pee.

"Right girls, how are you all getting on? Are you managing to hit the numbers?" Tina's loud piercing voice broke the silence in the workshop.

"Yes boss" Replied Jess. Nothing more was said by the others and Tina turned and walked back into her office. Abbie leaned over to Jess.

"I'm really desperate to pee Jess! I don't know how much longer I can hold! Do either of you have to go?" She glanced in both directions at Jess and Laura.

"I do, I've been really trying to ignore it, but I am bursting!" Replied Jess. She squirmed a little in her seat, her face a little red with embarrassment. “I can't believe I am trying to make my poor bladder hold this all in!”

"What are we going to do? I won't be able to hold until the end of the day. I'm going to end up wetting myself at this rate!" Abbie looked worried.

Jess gave Abbie a determined look and then replied.

"I'll try and speak to Tina. She usually listens to me. Perhaps she'll have softened and will let us go next door to the cafe?"

She stood up, and slowly but surely made her way to the office door, her legs pressed together quite a bit more tightly than usual. She softly knocked on the door.

"Tina, can I have a word please?"

Tina opened the door fully and stood in the entrance, looking rather offended for having been interrupted. She was a tall lady with long straight black hair. It gave her a sort of stern teacher look that often made people around her a little on edge.

"What is it Jess?"

"We all really need to pee Tina. We really have to go! Surely you can let us pop next door for a quick pee?"

"Jess, you literally signed that right away this morning. You can't be seriously asking about it just 3 hours later?"

"Please boss!" Muttered Abbie, still sat at her station, looking like she was struggling to remain seated.

"I said no!" Replied Tina in a firm voice. "I'm not peeing am I? Why should I let all you go when my tight little pee muscles are doing a perfectly good job of staying clamped shut?”

"We have to pee so bad though! We'll end up wetting ourselves!" Jess pleaded. “We'll end up having to work in pee soaked panties!” She blushed as she said the last sentence, realising just how private that kind of thing would normally be.

"So?" Replied Tina. “It's only pee, it won't hurt you! Now go and get back to work. We have orders to hit!”

"I'll piss all over the floor Tina. I genuinely will! I'll get my pussy out right here and spray it all over the floor and all over the work bench!" Snapped Laura, who'd suddenly decided what she wanted to say.

"You'll hold it, or wet yourself trying to hold it! If I catch a single one of you with your pussies on display you'll be fired."

"But it's so uncomfortable. We're really bursting. We are trying our best Tina! Please let us go and pee" Jess asked one last time. She sounded worn out, and had a soft pleading tone to her voice.

"No. If you can't hold it you'll have to pee your panties. Now I won't say this again get back to work!"

Jess hurried back to her station, settled onto her chiar, and grabbed her pussy through her leggings. She glanced over at Laura and Abbie.

"She can't do this to us!" Laura whispered. "I'm going up there!"

Laura shuffled up to the door, holding herself tightly through her jeans. She knocked much louder than she should have.

"What now!" Snapped Tina. "I am trying to work!"

"You're going to let us go and pee right now! We can't sit here and wet ourselves! It'll be so uncomfortable!"

Tina once again opened the door.

"Right! You girls are going to hold it, or if you can't you're going to pee yourselves.”

“But.... but..... we'll get so uncomfortable, or get a rash.... or something” Laura was clutching at straws to find a response.

“Don't worry, I thought you might play that card. I have been testing that theory for the last few weeks. You'll be fine!”

Tina spread her legs, stretching her pencil skirt tight between them. Suddenly a torrent of pee flooded down onto the ground. Splashing into a huge puddle between Tina's ankle boots. The 3 girls watched, almost mesmerised by the waterfall pouring from between Tina's rather gorgeous bare legs.

"If I can pee my panties and continue to work, so can you 3!" She turned on the spot, walked back into her office and elegantly crossed her legs at her desk, clamping the wet panties tight against her pussy between her thighs.

Laura didn't know how to respond. She just stared into the office at Tina sitting totally normally at her desk, amazed at what she had just witnessed.

"She literally doesn't care does she?!" Whispered Jess to Abbie. "She has just sat and crossed her legs with pee soaked panties between her legs!"

"She's mad! Totally mad! Look at the puddle!" Muttered Laura, staring at the huge puddle on the concrete floor.

The next 20 minutes passed quietly. All 3 girls were trying to work out what to do next. There they were, sat working hard as possible, their pee muscles quivering while their boss sat defiantly in front of them with pee soaked panties.

“Oh no!” whimpered Jess. “Please.... No.... Oh god!”

Laura and Abbie looked over at Jess. They knew what must be happening. Jess was sat on the edge of her chair, grabbing her pussy tightly through her leggings. She was panicking and kept releasing then re-clamping her hand over her wet crotch. The pee appeared to be coming in waves, Jess must have been forcing her pee muscles to keep re-clamping, but she was fighting a loosing battle. Spurt after spurt escaped from her tired little pee hole, spraying warm pee through her lacy panties and tight leggings.
“I can't stop it Abbie! I just can't stop it coming out. My panties and leggings are soaked!” She had turned a vibrant shade of red by this point, and looked incredibly embarrassed.

“I.... I don't.. know what to say Jess. I'm nearly wetting myself as well. You're just going to have to relax and let it all out.”

Jess sighed and removed her hands from soaked pussy and sighed as she allowed her poor worn out pee muscles the relief that they had so desperately needed. The pee flooded out much more forcefully than she expected and poured down the back of her calves, flooding down into her low top converse and soaking them as well.

“Oh shit!! My shoes! They're soaked as well!”

Abbie and Laura looked over at Jess. The puddle beneath her was about one meter wide, She was sat shaking a little from the relief.

Tina walked out from the office.

“Rookie mistake Jess! You should have got your feet out from under you before you wet yourself. That would have saved those Converse and kept your feet dry! Although I'm sure they'll dry by the end of your shift! Now back to work everyone!”

Abbie and Laura quickly got on with their work. Jess slowly regained some composure, picked up her work and continued sewing. Her poor little pussy and dainty feet bathing in her warm pee that she had failed to keep contained.

Edited by jmatthews1995
  • Like 2
  • Hot 2
Link to post

It had been 20 minutes since Jess had lost control, and nearly an hour since Tina had  power pissed herself in front of the girls. Abbies bladder was now right on the verge of loosing control. She could feel herself sweating due to the desperation and could feel her pee muscles spasming uncontrollably.

She glanced over at her two friends. Jess was working hard, looking like she was trying her best to ignore her soaked privates and feet. The concentration on her face looked the same as usual when she was tackling a difficult garment at work. Abbie was amazed to see just how casual she seemed considering what had happened.

Looking over at Laura revealed an entirely different situation. Laura kept repeatedly clamping her hand tight into her private area, wriggling and squirming in her seat. It was obvious her work speed had dropped dramatically, but she was trying anything she could to keep her bladder under control and not soak her panties and jeans in pee.

“Jess.....Pst.....Jess!” Jess looked up from her work at Abbie.

“What?” Whispered Jess. She looked almost angry that she'd been interrupted during a difficult stage of her work.

“What did it feel like? wetting yourself?” Abbie looked concerned and went red as she asked.

“I dunno! Warm I suppose, and, well, relaxing once the pressure had been released” Replied Jess honestly.

“What about now? Is it not uncomfortable being all damp?”

“My leggings are drying quiet quick I suppose. It's not that bad I guess. Look I'm not going to tell you it feels amazing, but it's not worth loosing your job over if you walk out to find a toilet.”

Laura quickly worked out what was going on and got involved in the conversation.

“Abbie! You can't seriously be planning to piss yourself as well, can you?!”

“I don't think I have much choice Laura, I don't think I can hold on much longer.” She squirmed in her seat and had to clutch at her private area to help hold on.

“No way! Don't give Tina the satisfaction. She's probably loving this watching us pee ourselves. She's crazy! Not to mention power hungry! Just hold it!”

“I can't Laura! I'm about to explode! It's actually hurting my bladder.” Abbie looked concerned at the situation. She wanted to put on a brave face and force her bladder to hold but she knew full well that she didn't have the strength or bladder capacity.

“Fine. I'll carry on holding. You pee yourself like a little kid! Tina will love the show I'm sure!”

Laura looked away and tried defiantly to look dignified as she continued to work. It was only a few short seconds later that she had to press her hand back into her private area to keep control.

“I'm going to do it Jess. I can't hold any longer.” Abbie whispered. Her pee muscles twitched as she resigned herself to the fact she was going to wet herself.

“Just do it if you're uncomfortable Abbie. You don't want to hurt your bladder trying to hold out forever!” Jess was being honest, but at the same time was longing to not be the old girl sat in pee soaked panties.

Abbie slide herself to the edge of the chair and relaxed for the first time. Instantly she felt the warmth spread as her pee sprayed out of her pussy into her cotton panties and straight through her tights. She lifted her skirt up to make sure it was of the way. The relief felt like heaven, and the warmth around her pussy was somewhat nice feeling, specially after having tortured herself for so long.

Tina came rushing out of the office and quickly looked under Abbies work bench. She watched for a few seconds as the pee rained out from Abbies tights, then, suddenly, the flow subsided.

“What happened? Was that all that you could hold?” She asked having come back up from looking under the bench.

“No it wasn't! But I'd prefer not to have my boss staring up my skirt as I piss myself. It's not like you're allowed to watch while we go to the toilet is it?!” Abbie looked as though she was using every ounce of her strength to keep the flow from restarting, her face glowing red with desperation.

Tina looked offended from having been called out for her actions but Abbie sat defiantly at her work station, begging her pee muscles to continue to hold having forced them to clamp shut mid flow.
“Oh, well in that case I'm sure it won't be long before you continue peeing.” Tina stood sternly in front of the work bench. “Listen for the splashing girls.” She said, staring straight at Abbies red face.

Abbie could feel her pussy twitching and aching as it tried to contain the still huge pressure that was built up in her worn out bladder.

“Not now, just hold a little longer, she'll get bored waiting.” Thought Abbie as she encouraged her aching pee muscles to remain tightly shut. The soaked panties clinging to her pussy felt like torture, it was a lingering tease of the relief she was enjoying a minute before.

“Hold it Abbie! Hold it!” Shouted Laura as she squirmed in her seat clutching at her pussy. “Don't give her the satisfaction!”

Tina laughed and hitched her pencil skirt up, revealing her still slightly damp panties right in front of Abbie. She spread her legs slightly which showed even more of the damp patch from her initial wetting.  Abbie went even redder, and looked as though she was being tortured. The thought of her panties looking the same way in a a few hours was all she could think about.

Tina relaxed. The damp batch suddenly began to glisten, then drip, then pour with pee as she wet herself for the second time right in front of Abbie. The flow turned into a thick stream and splashed down onto the floor between Tina's boots. Two large trickles spread down the inside of each of Tina's naked thighs, then calves, and finally disappeared into her boots. The look of relief on her face was torture for Abbie and Laura.

Abbie felt her private area quiver with desperation as she watched Tina's dirty performance. Her wet panties tormenting her and the sight of Tina's river of pee was torture.

“Ahhh, that's much better!” Muttered Tina as she watched Abbie squirm in her seat.

“You're mad Tina! You really are!” uttered Abbie as she pressed her hand firmly into her soaked pussy. “How could you possibly just re-wet yourself like that? Like it just doesn't phase you at all?!”

“It doesn't phase me. It never has and never will” Said Tina as she unzipped one of her ankle boots. She casually slipped her glistening bare foot out of it, and then tipped the pee out of her boot onto the floor in front of Abbies workbench. “Good job I'm not wearing Jeans today! I have a meeting later with a potential customer!” She said as she slid her wet foot back into her empty boot.

Abbie felt her bladder suddenly spasm, and a huge jet of  warm pee spray into her panties as Tina bent over to unzip her other boot.

“Ooooh, looks like your poor bladder has decided it wants the rest of its relief Abbie! Teased Tina as she slipped her second foot back into her freshly emptied boot.

Abbie sat quietly as the remaining half of her bladder poured into her panties, re-warming her already soaked pussy. There was nothing she could do to control herself this time, she had to just sit and soak herself as her manager watched contently.

“Good girl! I bet that feels much better now!” Stated Tina. She turned around and walked back into her office, once again crossing her legs at her desk and clamping her soaked pussy tightly between her thighs.
“You did so well Abbie! There was no way I'd have been able to stop half way through like that!” Whispered Jess. “Specially when she started peeing herself again!”

  • Hot 3
Link to post

Having both relieved themselves, Jess and Abbie were working hard at their work benches. Their focus now was to hit their numbers and distract themselves from their soaked panties that were clinging tightly to their pissy pussies. Laura, on the other hand, was in agony.

By this point, she was sitting with her legs double crossed, and her hand pressed firmly into her privates. She was regretting her choice of light blue jeans. The wet patch was sure to show very well on them.

Tina was watching her closely, knowing full well Laura was hardly working. She had decided to let events unfold. This was partly as a method of teaching Laura a lesson, and partly for her own entertainment.

 “Abbie!” whispered Laura. “Abbie!”


“I don't know what to do!”

“What do you mean you don't know what to do?”

“I can't hold on any longer, it hurts too much!”

“Oh just give it up Laura, you'll just have to wet yourself. It's not worth the pain or chance of loosing your job!”

“I'm not bathing my girly parts in piss! Any other ideas? I am about to explode!”

“I don't know! Maybe you could try and pee on the floor. Tina will probably get really angry though!”

Laura pondered the idea. She'd only ever tried peeing standing up once and that was for a dare when she was only wearing a bikini.

She thought a little longer about the logistics of it, and then her defiant side suddenly took over and she convinced herself it was a good idea. She quickly got up from her seat, feeling her bladder spasm as she straightened up. She quickly grabbed the button on her jeans and undid it before pulling both her jeans and her panties down to her knees. Her pussy tingled with the thought of relief. She leant backwards, then gently spread her pussy lips apart. It was torture exposing herself like that while not allowing herself the relief her pussy so desperately needed.
“Oi! Tina!” She shouted. The other girls watched in disbelief as Laura stood firm. Tina came rushing out of the office and up to Laura's work bench.

“Get those trousers pulled back up right now!” Demanded Tina. She looked seriously angry with Laura.

“No! I have to pee, and I'm not wetting myself!”

“Don't you dare. Pull those panties back up over that silly little pussy!” Demanded Tian. “If I see a single drop escape from between those pink little lips you'll be fired!”

“No I won't! I bet you want to see me do this really! You're such a weirdo! I bet you're loving seeing us wet ourselves! I bet your pussy stinks of pee as well!” Laura had no idea what to say and was totally improvising with whatever came to mind. Too much of her energy was focussed on keeping her pee under control to actually think about what she was saying.

“How dare you insult my pussy! My pussy can control itself and is totally obedient to me. Yours just lacks control!” Replied Tina in an aggressive tone. “Now put that naughty little pussy away, I'm fed up of seeing it!”

Laura lost control. A jet of pee sprayed out from between her lips, spraying all over the floor in front of her. Abbie and Jess gasped as they saw little droplets of pee splashing up over Tina's boots.

“Laura!!! No!!!!” Gasped Jess. “Stop Laura! She looks really mad!”

“Do as she says Laura, or I will fire you!” Tina was getting extremely angry at this display of defiance. “I'm going to count to 5 if you haven't stopped pissing by then you won't have a job.”

Laura couldn't stop the flow. A huge puddle was forming between her and Tina.

“One!.....Two.......Three!” Laura tilted her hips back, thrusting her pissing pussy towards Tina and raising the arc of pee so it splashed onto the floor right at Tina's boots.

“I can't stop! I won't stop!” Shouted Laura.

“Four.....” Tina stepped forward, straight into the arc of hot pee coming from Laura. It was a show of power that no one had expected. Laura's pee was now splashing all over Tina's calves and pouring into her already pissy boots.

“Oh god Laura stop! Just stop!” Shouted Abbie. “You're literally pissing on the boss!”

Tina's power move worked as expected. Laura panicked. She was pissing uncontrollably on her boss! Soaking her boots with her pee. She panicked and attempted to clamp off the flow by grabbing her naked pussy tightly with her hand, nothing happened! The flow continued to pour into her hand, only now instead of arcing away from her it was splashing down like a waterfall between her legs, soaking her pulled down panties and jeans.

“Nooo! No! No! No!” Muttered Laura as the flow continued. Soaking her jeans and trickling down into her own ankle boots.

She continued for around 30 seconds, and then slowly but surely the flow subsided. Two huge puddles were now on the floor, one around Tina's boots, and one around her own.
“Have you learnt your lesson Laura?” Asked Tina.

“Yes boss” Whimpered Laura. The reality of the situation suddenly coming over her. “It won't happen again boss!”

Tina watched with satisfaction as Laura slowly pulled her wet panties up over her still dripping pussy. Laura shivered as the cold wet cotton pressed against her pussy. Then she slowly slid her jeans up and pulled them up tight.

“Good girl!” Smiled Tina. “Now! If I ever catch you with that naughty little private area out again in here, you'll be out the door quicker than Jess can empty her bladder!”

Laura sat herself back down at her work bench, bright red with embarrassment at what had just happened. All three girls watched as Tina elegantly walked back into her office, and settled herself back into her office chair. She continued working as if the whole ordeal had not even happened.

“Bloody hell Laura! You nearly got yourself fired then!” Whispered Abbie from next to her. “You literally just pissed all over the boss!”

“You soaked her boots! So much was pouring down her legs!” Jess muttered. “She doesn't even care! Look at her sat there as if nothing happened!”

All three of them glanced in through the office door, looking for even a slight sign that Tina was uncomfortable or grossed out by what had just happened. Instead all they noticed was a really rather beautiful lady totally ignoring a pissy pair of panties and boots!

“I hope I dry out quickly. I'm soaked!” Muttered Laura, looking at the other two. “Are you both nearly dry?”

“I am just slightly damp now” Said Jess. “But I'm going to end up having to wet again later at some point. There's no way I'll make it to 5pm!” She gave Laura and Abbie concerned looks. They both looked back sympathetically.

“Well, I suppose Tina's already pissed her panties twice. Maybe it''s not all that bad.” Whispered Abbie, attempting to sound reassuring.

  • Hot 2
Link to post

I will continue with this story at some point. I am interested in peoples feedback.

What are you thoughts on the writing style? Do I use enough descriptive sentances? Do I build a character well enough? Is there enough pee stuff or wetting stuff? Are you okay with me leaving the odd bit about feet in here and there such as Tima getting her boots peed in by Laura?

Thanks! 😁

  • Like 1
Link to post

It works well for me - I'm pretty take or leave when it comes to a lot of fiction.

You've avoided one major pitfall which a lot of writers seem to fall victim to - and I'm sure it's just my pet hate speaking here - but writing in the present or even future tense...  That thing that seems to have come out of documentaries where the script writers think we're all too ill-educated to understand more than one tense.  "Elvis would leave the building...."  Would he, and when will that be?  Is it coming up soon?  Oh - he's already left the building, why didn't you say?   (Sorry, couldn't resist ranting there)

But personally I like the scripted style writing with enough description below to actually feel like we're present in the conversation between two people who we know a little about.  And any gaps in the conversation can be filled in with our own imaginations and memories of experiences and sights we've encountered.

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
30 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

writing in the present or even future tense...  That thing that seems to have come out of documentaries

Pet peeve of mine too. I think it might have started with historians trying to make their subject more immediate, so they inflate the tense from past to present.

Football commentators also inflate the tense - from present to future, as in "De Bruyne will pass the ball out wide..." (as he is doing it, or just after he has done it). Drives me up the wall!

Edited by Kupar
Link to post
1 hour ago, gldenwetgoose said:

It works well for me - I'm pretty take or leave when it comes to a lot of fiction.

You've avoided one major pitfall which a lot of writers seem to fall victim to - and I'm sure it's just my pet hate speaking here - but writing in the present or even future tense...  That thing that seems to have come out of documentaries where the script writers think we're all too ill-educated to understand more than one tense.  "Elvis would leave the building...."  Would he, and when will that be?  Is it coming up soon?  Oh - he's already left the building, why didn't you say?   (Sorry, couldn't resist ranting there)

But personally I like the scripted style writing with enough description below to actually feel like we're present in the conversation between two people who we know a little about.  And any gaps in the conversation can be filled in with our own imaginations and memories of experiences and sights we've encountered.


1 hour ago, Kupar said:

Pet peeve of mine too. I think it might have started with historians trying to make their subject more immediate, so they inflate the tense from past to present.

Football commentators also inflate the tense - from present to future, as in "De Bruyne will pass the ball out wide..." (as he is doing it, or just after he has done it). Drives me up the wall!

Thanks guys! 😄 I'll make sure I don't fall into that trap when I write in future. I do see what you mean!

  • Like 1
Link to post

I really love this series, I could imagine the girls in their predicament and it has given me a naughty idea of something I want to try. 

My only complaint is that there are a lot of spelling mistakes in the stories. Can I please suggest that you proof read your stories or possibly find someone to do it? 

But overall, very hot series! It's made me want to masturbate 😉

Link to post
36 minutes ago, Sophie said:

I really love this series, I could imagine the girls in their predicament and it has given me a naughty idea of something I want to try. 

My only complaint is that there are a lot of spelling mistakes in the stories. Can I please suggest that you proof read your stories or possibly find someone to do it? 

But overall, very hot series! It's made me want to masturbate 😉

Thanks. I have been using open office writer. I wonder if the spell check isn't that good. The very first post was done on notepad, then I changed after that one to the writer to keep it neater as I was typing it up.

Enjoy yourself 😄 And I like the sound of the naughty idea you've come up with! 😄

I better turn this thread back into the story again soon! 😄

Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...