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This story was written in a couple hours and was inspired by @Zorroblade's post how it all started for him. As a consequence, it has items that are not everyone's taste, especially in a sexual context. I believe I have kept within the bounds of the new forum rules, as personnally I'm not turned on by damage to third parties, either. I wasn't consciously aware when writing it, but my sudden tolerance for this beyond-naughty behavior may be related to my reading of @rann's well-written vandalism series starring Katie and Nina on vacation (warning: that one is hard vandalism, too much for me if I'm being honest).

The MILF was somewhat inspired by Ms. Paris Rose of TampaHousewives, even though I'm not aware of her having done anything similar.

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Contains: female peeing, soft vandalism and damage to things of an implicitly consenting partner, hunting for animals (I had an issue with this last one, but it just belongs).

Obviously, this is 100% fictional, all characters are of legal age at the time of the events and any resemblance to anything is purely coincidental.

BTW: It was supposed to be a short story, and I ended up with almost 9k words. Seems I'm not really good at short when I'm horny...

 

Edited by Alpian
cite your sources ;-)
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You are a fantastic writer and your descriptions are vivid! You did a great job building Yvonne's naughty behavior and I was hoping that was on her mind when she first saw his treasured plant. Great job!

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Absolutely superb!  Love the detailed descriptions, the conversations and the way Yvonne played with Zach, messing with his innocent emotions, teasing him with tantalising temptation and playing out her own desires.  

Edited by Alfresco
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@Alfresco Thank you for your kind words, I especially value them as they are a sign that I succeeded writing a story that not only attracts the hardcore vandalists among us. I admit I sometimes see quite a view points we have in common in this fetish and I wasn't sure this story would qualify as one of them 😉

@rann Thank you for the compliments - good to read that one of the person's having inspired the story likes it 🙂

Having finished the first chapter, I was in quite a frenzy to know how the story would continue. I've written a second part, but it is way too long and chaotic. So it will need heavy editing and I won't get around it before the end of the year as real life is demanding some attention in the upcoming months.

Just a question to those who've read the first part: Do you think it makes for a better read to purely focus on Zach's point of view, or would a chapter written from Yvonne's perspective be of interest? I believe you all have your own fantasy, and I'm not sure if I should impose my view of the characters on my readers who might well have gone in a different direction. Currently, I have the following options in mind:

  • Purge the second part of all things not concerning Zach's point of view and have a second chapter about the length of the above
  • Do a chapter on Zach's point of view, then a last chapter as a kind of wrap-up from Yvonne's and maybe Xenia's point of view
  • Do a second chapter recounting the first one, but from Yvonne's point of view, then have a third chapter
    - Either mixing points of view going forward, a bit like in my prior stories
    - Or focusing on Zach's point of view
    - Or focusing on Zach's point of view, but sparsely mixing in the other's perspective's, e.g. in the form of what Zach had learned from them during the time that passed between the events and him writing the story.

Well, let me know what you think!

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Really I think both points of view have value as they are focused on different things. Zach is transfixed on the sensuality in front of him while Yvonne is pleasuring herself by toying with Zach. However, unless there are significant differences, I think two chapters of the same story from different perspectives would get repetitive. I think there is nothing wrong with naturally switching viewpoints as you tell the story!

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Alpian,

Very well written.  Feels real: dialog, reactions, timing, etc are, in my opinion, bordering on perfection.

Two thoughts on the question / matter of viewpoints in stories.  Firstly, and I would apply this pretty much across the board to all stories which are written even remotely in the first person, only use one viewpoint within a given story; more than that can be confusing to read.  Secondly, people generally tend to write better stories when they are writing the story they (the individual doing the writing) want to read; so pick the viewpoint you prefer / think will work better.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...

Dear @annon115, the second chapter is written.

But: @rann and @thisguy20 have very valid arguments in the comments above. Indeed, the second part is both, confusing and in parts repetitive. It has twice the length of the first part, and probably half is a retrospective from Ms. Minx' point of view on the events in the first chapter.

There's a third part that currently only exists in my mind - need to write that down, too...

More to come - but I don't know when 🙂

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