Mental Health

[LovesToWet 3,802]

It's mental health week so just wondering what you all do to help with stress/anxiety etc.

Listing things here may help others by giving them ideas that they may not of though of before so let's try and help each other.

 

For me, exercise is important as it gives me a chance to escape for a while and have nothing to worry about apart from where I'm running or biking to. I find it clears my mind.

 

What do you guys do? And how are you all?

[Kupar 13,340]

Thanks for this. If my correspondents on here are anything to go by I would say there are many of us who have to deal with various issues around our mental health - some relatively minor (and I would count myself among those) and some more difficult to cope with. One of the great things about the PeeFans community is how many kind and understanding people there are - and that sense of community and the friendships it can create are a support to me and I think to some others.

I agree with you about physical activity - and also long walks in the countryside. They always help me.

Edited May 12, 2022 by Kupar
Typos

[Bacardi 10,134]

Video games are my escape. Especially ones that simulate life like Animal Crossing. As a middle schooler i was bullied relentlessly and for a while my little virtual villagers were my only friends. 

I also agree with physical activity. I enjoy walking, and if I'm wound up, stressed, or anxious I will literally pace my hallways with some music in my ear and mellow out. 

On a less healthy note, when shit really hits the fan I have one self destructive behavior for when I'm stressed beyond words, and that's hair pulling. I have literally put bald spots on my head before and its so bad. That's why I'm happy to have my other outlets when I need them. I haven't pulled my hair out so bad in such a long time. 

[LovesToWet 3,802]

7 hours ago, Kupar said:

Thanks for this. If my correspondents on here are anything to go by I would say there are many of us who have to deal with various issues around our mental health - some relatively minor (and I would count myself among those) and some more difficult to cope with. One of the great things about the PeeFans community is how many kind and understanding people there are - and that sense of community and the the friendships it can create are a support to me and I think to some others.

I agree with you about physical activity - and also long walks in the countryside. They always help me.

I thought I'd try something as we all know people who struggle, whether they are on here or at home. I just wanted to do something to help, even if it's just giving people ideas of how to cope.

[LovesToWet 3,802]

7 hours ago, Bacardi said:

Video games are my escape. Especially ones that simulate life like Animal Crossing. As a middle schooler i was bullied relentlessly and for a while my little virtual villagers were my only friends. 

I also agree with physical activity. I enjoy walking, and if I'm wound up, stressed, or anxious I will literally pace my hallways with some music in my ear and mellow out. 

On a less healthy note, when shit really hits the fan I have one self destructive behavior for when I'm stressed beyond words, and that's hair pulling. I have literally put bald spots on my head before and its so bad. That's why I'm happy to have my other outlets when I need them. I haven't pulled my hair out so bad in such a long time. 

Music can be very relaxing, I prefer having music on when I'm doing things.

I'm glad your outlets help a little and hope things improve for you. It's good to have some ways to let stress out, even if it's in a virtual world. Every little helps

[gldenwetgoose 21,495]

I love this site for reasons exactly like this - the real and genuine care that exists here.  Yes we may all have a really unfathomable and odd obsession with human waste, yes we may spend our time looking at the root of all degeneration and evil that is pornography.  We may flirt and play around outside the scope of our marriages...

But at the same time we have some amazing friendships - in cases people we're in contact with more often than our real life friends, colleagues and maybe only families.  For some I guess maybe the only people we actually get to have two way interaction with from one day to the next.

So I salute you for raising and recognising the topic.  Thank you for adding to the caring community that is Peefans with it.

 

Personally I feel my mental health is quite stable - usually I'm pretty aware of how I'm doing and genuinely feel fine.  I do from time to time have the feeling that I'm the one everyone assumes is ok, and nobody ever actually asks if I'm coping OK.  Just occasionally I'll find myself down for no apparent reason.  I can generally feel it coming on, sometimes I'll feel myself withdrawing from interacting - feeling it's too much effort, and feeling that if I'm down it'll just drag others down too.

Exercise and the sense of achievement can help - although perhaps that's a longer term thing.  If I forced myself out to cycle for example during a brief spell of depression I don't know if it would be an immediate help.  Like taking a multivitamin and expecting it to cure a cold.

Instead the biggest thing for me is to step out of the comfortable darkness and actually tell someone, 'look I'm a bit down right now'.  It doesn't have to turn into a conversation all about me, me, me.  It can just be a quick 'we're all here for you' and then onwards onto a 'would you like to hear about my day' - perhaps it's distraction techniques but mostly just about being involved in a conversation with someone who is interested in me and wants to have that chat.

Thanks again to those people here who know (and some who won't know) that you've been there at exactly the right moment.

[LovesToWet 3,802]

@gldenwetgoose yes, talking really does help. Like you said, it doesn't have to be a deep meaningful conversation, just a "hi, hope you're ok" does wonders

[MidoriLemonade85 2,366]

4 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

I love this site for reasons exactly like this - the real and genuine care that exists here.  Yes we may all have a really unfathomable and odd obsession with human waste, yes we may spend our time looking at the root of all degeneration and evil that is pornography.  We may flirt and play around outside the scope of our marriages...

But at the same time we have some amazing friendships - in cases people we're in contact with more often than our real life friends, colleagues and maybe only families.  For some I guess maybe the only people we actually get to have two way interaction with from one day to the next.

So I salute you for raising and recognising the topic.  Thank you for adding to the caring community that is Peefans with it.

 

Personally I feel my mental health is quite stable - usually I'm pretty aware of how I'm doing and genuinely feel fine.  I do from time to time have the feeling that I'm the one everyone assumes is ok, and nobody ever actually asks if I'm coping OK.  Just occasionally I'll find myself down for no apparent reason.  I can generally feel it coming on, sometimes I'll feel myself withdrawing from interacting - feeling it's too much effort, and feeling that if I'm down it'll just drag others down too.

Exercise and the sense of achievement can help - although perhaps that's a longer term thing.  If I forced myself out to cycle for example during a brief spell of depression I don't know if it would be an immediate help.  Like taking a multivitamin and expecting it to cure a cold.

Instead the biggest thing for me is to step out of the comfortable darkness and actually tell someone, 'look I'm a bit down right now'.  It doesn't have to turn into a conversation all about me, me, me.  It can just be a quick 'we're all here for you' and then onwards onto a 'would you like to hear about my day' - perhaps it's distraction techniques but mostly just about being involved in a conversation with someone who is interested in me and wants to have that chat.

Thanks again to those people here who know (and some who won't know) that you've been there at exactly the right moment.

Really well said 💖💖💖

[Sophie 24,410]

Thank you for making this. 

Exercise is my biggest way of escaping from everything. No matter what happens when I'm out, no matter how bad things are when I leave, I always get back in a much better mood. I find myself struggling the most late at night, especially when everyone is asleep so I'm alone with nobody to talk to. I think my energy levels play a big part in it, I tend to have more episodes when I'm tired but my mind is racing so I can't sleep. 

Work really helps a lot too. It is super stressful at times but it is a different kind of stress, my job distracts me from whatever is going on at home and gives me something to focus on. 

As for how I'm doing? I'll be honest, I'm struggling a little. I'm doing better than I was last year but I have a lot going on at the moment out of my control and it is really taking its toll. The amazing people on here have helped tremendously. 

[LovesToWet 3,802]

43 minutes ago, Sophie said:

Thank you for making this. 

Exercise is my biggest way of escaping from everything. No matter what happens when I'm out, no matter how bad things are when I leave, I always get back in a much better mood. I find myself struggling the most late at night, especially when everyone is asleep so I'm alone with nobody to talk to. I think my energy levels play a big part in it, I tend to have more episodes when I'm tired but my mind is racing so I can't sleep. 

Work really helps a lot too. It is super stressful at times but it is a different kind of stress, my job distracts me from whatever is going on at home and gives me something to focus on. 

As for how I'm doing? I'll be honest, I'm struggling a little. I'm doing better than I was last year but I have a lot going on at the moment out of my control and it is really taking its toll. The amazing people on here have helped tremendously. 

Thank you for sharing and I truly hope things get better. I'm the same with exercise, it has helped me a lot lately too. It's been very stressful with my wife's health but things will get better.

Oddly, this site has helped too, it's been good to open up about things and everyone has been very nice about it. This site is great, far more to it than just looking at pictures and videos. Some very friendly people here.

Sorry, I linked this onto you because I'm the same with exercise, I always come home in a better mood too.

[steve25805 126,116]

I too have been struggling lately with issues I am not going to go into.

When I am struggling, underlying issues from my past make my social confidence extremely fragile.The tiniest of knocks and I retreat into my shell. That has been my lifelong coping mechanism.

Right across my life of late - both online and offline - I have been over-reacting to every little thing and just find it easier to retreat to avoid silly meltdowns

Which is the main reason why of late I have only been posting pics and the occasional story and not interacting at all other than that around here.

Truth be known, and I don't think I even said this to the mods at the time, citing lack of time instead, my mental health struggles were a factor in my decision to step down as a mod last year. Yes the lack of spare time was a factor, but not the only one.

I lack the social confidence to want to really angage with anyone here on any conversational level right now, but perhaps in time.
 

[LovesToWet 3,802]

So glad I started this, I hope it helps people. Thank you to those that have felt ok to comment and share

[MaxWasTaken 522]

This is a weird topic for me. I like to think that im good most of the time. But my biggest problem is the feeling of falling behind in life. Im 27 now and when i compare myself to my ambitious teenage version than i must say that i wasn't able to cross many things of my list. Additionally many of my friends are go getters (is that a word ? xD) and they have families, relationships and are successful in many ways. I tend to compare myself to them and feel like falling behind and i don't like the feeling of wasting time. 

So how do i cope with it: 

• Sleep. I am someone who can sleep anytime and anywhere. Sometimes my best course of action is to just sleep until the next day looks brighter.
• Visit my friends. Even tho they often the reason for why im feeling down they are also the easiest way to make me smile. Visiting my best friends and her kids is a sure fire way of brighten my mood.
• Planning. I love to plan things even tho im not good at following my own plans. I love getting a new notebook or a fresh block of paper and starting to plan some crazy project. I tend to loose myself in details and after that im super hyped for whatever i have planned. Sometimes its just a new routine or an exercise plan. Or i draft a video game or program i would like to create. 
• The last one is weird. When im feeling down i do like to have a walk at night while listening to moody music and smoking. (Im not a smoker per se. But my parents were both chain smokers and i love the smell of cigarette smoke because it reminds me of my childhood. I basically only smoke when im super comfortable or when im feeling down). But i wouldn't say that im improving my situation in those moments. Its more a way of lingering in my thoughts while mindlessly roaming through the dark city. 

14 hours ago, steve25805 said:

I too have been struggling lately with issues I am not going to go into.

When I am struggling, underlying issues from my past make my social confidence extremely fragile.The tiniest of knocks and I retreat into my shell. That has been my lifelong coping mechanism.

Right across my life of late - both online and offline - I have been over-reacting to every little thing and just find it easier to retreat to avoid silly meltdowns

Which is the main reason why of late I have only been posting pics and the occasional story and not interacting at all other than that around here.

Truth be known, and I don't think I even said this to the mods at the time, citing lack of time instead, my mental health struggles were a factor in my decision to step down as a mod last year. Yes the lack of spare time was a factor, but not the only one.

I lack the social confidence to want to really angage with anyone here on any conversational level right now, but perhaps in time.

I don't know shit so this is probably useless but i want to say it anyway. Im not a shy person and i have a good amount of confidence. But my confidence dies in situations where i have no experience in. For example im going to my first concert next week and im terrified of not fitting in and ruining my friends fun. What helps me the most is the knowledge that i need to get better at failing. I was always praised a lot for being good at certain things which gave me the feeling that others expected me to be good at most things. So i tended to only do things i am good at. 

But that resulted in me missing out on many things. I never knew how to behave at a club/concert/festival so i never went to one. Another thing was that i haven't met friends outside of school for many years, which resulted in me declining every invitation because i feared that i wouldn't be good company. And there are many other examples. 

It took me to realize that i need to get better at failing stuff to improve my situation and that failing is not that big of a deal. I basically set out to be bad at stuff and to learn from my mistakes. To embrace the awkwardness because the worst thing that can happen is wasting a few hours. And i don't want to pose like it solved everything for me. There are still many things where i haven't managed to say "fuck it lets try this". It took me forever to go to a concert and i will probably need covid to be solved for me to run out of excuses for not visiting a club. But embracing failure is something that really helped me to overcome the anxiety which made me miss out on so much stuff.

And again i don't know shit and it might not even be applicable to your situation. But if it helped me, it might help others. 

[Kupar 13,340]

Thanks for you typically thoughtful and helpful reply @MaxWasTaken.

The sleep thing is interesting. As Sophie said earlier, sleep can really be a problem for some people with anxiety, so it's good that you are able to do it. I find that if I am having a depressive episode, then I just want to sleep and hope everything will just go away. Wanting to sleep (and choosing to go to bed at silly early times) is a real indicator for me that I'm already a long way down. But thankfully, like you, I can now sleep pretty well.

And the friends thing - in person or online is good - I'm pleased you have friends like that who can lift you.

29 minutes ago, MaxWasTaken said:

my confidence dies in situations where i have no experience

Absolutely. Overcoming that fear of the first time is a real pig of a thing to do, and I know several people who are so paralysed by that fear, especially if it's combined with social anxiety - and my heart goes out to them (and you, and Steve). I send you the courage to do new things, because once done, maybe they get easier the next time.

Take care all of you. And thanks again to @LovesToWet for starting this thread.

[LovesToWet 3,802]

42 minutes ago, MaxWasTaken said:

And again i don't know shit and it might not even be applicable to your situation. But if it helped me, it might help others. 

This is why I wanted to do this. Reading others comments might just give you an idea that you haven't tried, or just make you realise you are not allowed and everyone of us has struggles. You might even find just writing down yours on here helps you get things out that you've been keeping hidden.

I commend all those that have aired their thoughts and give thanks ( @Kupar @gldenwetgoose @Sophie) to those how have thanked me for starting this thread.

Hopefully it'll grow and help more of us on here

[MaxWasTaken 522]

9 minutes ago, Kupar said:

I send you the courage to do new things, because once done, maybe they get easier the next time.

It definitely gets easier for me. I am usually a confident person and i am completely relaxed and in control after i had my first experience.  
The first step is literally the hardest for me and most of the time my only hurdle. I always wanted an older sibling or a friend which forces me in to those situations and offers me guidance.
Sadly im this kind of guy for many of my friends which means there is no example i can follow xD. 

[Brutus 2,206]

As many others have said, music is great for coping. 

I no longer compare myself to others now and instead focus on how to make me a slightly better version of myself week to week. That could be getting better at something at work, exercising more, eating healthier. Exercise held off depression a few years ago when I was unemployed. 

Another thing is the fiction I write for the forum. They have become therapeutic and I can get lost in the writing with laser focus for hours without realizing. Writing fiction is a thrill because it lets my imagination off its leash. 

Lastly, I've learned to not waste my energy arguing with people I know are completely wrong. The mental health benefit is that training myself to not succumb to the desire to argue saves so much stress and brain power I can use on something productive.

Something we all can likely benefit from is to confront what's stressing you. You know what it is, you think about it often and try to ignore it. Confront it, say something to who it concerns. Most of the time, it will be easier than you feared and even if it goes bad, it's over with and your mind is free to deal with the after effects, good or bad. Either way, the mental growth is better than the stagnant cycle of stress from refusal to confront it.

And @steve25805 I had no idea you weren't a mod anymore due to my long absences. I understand your reasons and for what it's worth, I always thought you were a great moderator.

[Kupar 13,340]

6 hours ago, Brutus said:

Lastly, I've learned to not waste my energy arguing with people I know are completely wrong. The mental health benefit is that training myself to not succumb to the desire to argue saves so much stress and brain power I can use on something productive.

Amen to that ❤️

[LovesToWet 3,802]

Lastly, I've learned to not waste my energy arguing with people I know are completely wrong. The mental health benefit is that training myself to not succumb to the desire to argue saves so much stress and brain power I can use on something productive

 

I agree with @Brutus I've personally found that if I cannot change something then it's time to stop worrying/trying and move on

[steve25805 126,116]

Well an update. I was on new meds for nearly a year and I wasn't coping well with them.

Am now back on the old ones and much more my normal self again. Still prone to being a bit oversensitive but mostly ok now. I do however struggle a little with social confidence when it comes to banter and sexual flirtations, not sure when and if I am being too much, so mainly avoiding flirty comments.

When I am struggling with anxiety I tend to get paranoid and read too much into everything. What helps tends to vary depending upon the intensity. If it is not too intense, distracting myself by going to politics forums and debating issues with people is something I find strangely therapeutic. Immersing myself in the problems of society and how to fix them takes my mind off my own issues.

If I am too stressy that doesn't work but going out for a drive can help. When things get really bad I am sometimes tempted to turn to alcohol.

In recent weeks though I have been in a much better place psychologically.

[steve25805 126,116]

On 5/14/2022 at 12:12 AM, Brutus said:

And @steve25805 I had no idea you weren't a mod anymore due to my long absences. I understand your reasons and for what it's worth, I always thought you were a great moderator.

Thank you. I think I was a good mod in earlier years but was struggling in the role towards the end due to time constraints and mental health issues, and started making one or two dodgy decisions, all whilst recognising I was no longer pulling my weight.

Stepping down was the right decision for me at the time.

[steve25805 126,116]

Going through a bit of a down cycle re my mental health right now, undermining my social confidence and sense of belonging. Will probably snap out of it in due course. Hopefully.

[LovesToWet 3,802]

So much shit going around Mt head at the moment I can't seem to think straight. 

Work life. home life, sex life! It's all getting hard and I'm finding I'm snapping alot for stupid little things like my lunch box falling over. 

My hrs ar work are getting worse, 13-15hrs a day giving me no home life which means my wife has to do more and I can't help her. She has health issues so struggles all the time. My kids suffer because of this too. 

There's lots of other little things too that are just building. My usual outlet isn't working like it used too and I'm starting to feel overloaded. Because of this I'm starting to forget things which gets me into trouble which then adds to my stress. Arrrrgh! 

I know there's people out there with bigger problems but for me, this is becoming big and I'm struggling. 

 

Sorry, needed to vent a little

[Kupar 13,340]

That must be very difficult for you. Is there any chance to reduce your hours? It sounds like it might be the root cause of problems? I really sympathise. It can't be easy, but we're here for you any time you need someone to talk to ❤️

[LovesToWet 3,802]

15 minutes ago, Kupar said:

That must be very difficult for you. Is there any chance to reduce your hours? It sounds like it might be the root cause of problems? I really sympathise. It can't be easy, but we're here for you any time you need someone to talk to ❤️

Thank you