Feedback / Idea Anonymous Poll - Peefans Private Messaging

[gldenwetgoose 20,211]

Hi folks,  I have a bit of a survey here - Please would you have a quick look and answer any or all of the questions you feel relevant.

You can tick as many boxes as apply, apart from on the first question.

Hopefully it's all simple to understand, but please feel free to get in touch if you'd like any guidance.

Like they say on the TV - 'If you feel you've been affected by any of the issues discussed here...'  please do get in touch.   You can CLICK HERE to send a message which will be shared with @Admin @Sophie @Scot_Lover and myself @gldenwetgoose.  We will treat anything you tell us in complete confidence.

If you prefer you can message any one of us.  If you're unable to send messages, just reply to this thread with a post which says 'please contact me'.

You can also use the 'Report' facility to let us know about any messages you're concerned about - just click on the three dots whilst viewing the message and then click 'Report' just like you would for any unacceptable site content.

If you have any particular experiences or concerns please do feel free to discuss with the staff privately.

[Sophie 22,991]

I've received dick pics in the past from someone and I ignored the message but brought it up in the staff room (reporting would have the same effect) and it was quickly dealt with. 

I've spent enough time on the Internet and particularly on adult forums that I'm used to these kind of messages and I'm happy to deal with them myself. I haven't really received many bad messages here but that might be because I'm a moderator. On other sites I tend to just ignore the messages and move on. I don't engage with them or give them any attention. 

[Kupar 12,317]

Many thanks for putting this poll up @gldenwetgoose - I'm commenting on the thread really only because the more activity it gets the more members might see it and complete the questionnaire.

[steve25805 121,108]

I too have never recieved any PMs that have disturbed me. No unsolicited pics, no offensive content, no personal insults, no crticisms of my interests. But again, like @Sophie, that is probably because until very recently I was a mod. 

There is also the fact that I am male and I have a sneaking suspicion that sadly this sort of thing is more likely to happen to females. I am also a well established member and it is more likely I suspect for relative newbies to have their posts criticised via PM or whatever.

All I will say is that sending unsolicited pics via PM, or being negative and abusive to anyone via PM, including criticising their looks or intelligence or what ever it may be, has never been acceptable conduct here. Also it is explicitly against site rules and has been from the very beginning to criticise the content posted by anyone else, including their personal stories, confessions or pics or vids featuring themselves or others. If any member, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, and regardless of how new you are to the forum, recieves private communication of this sort, do please report it to the mods, with screenshots if you can. I am no longer a mod myself but I was for a long time and operated alongside all the existing mods and Admin so believe me, mods take any form of communication that is against the rules. and/or is abusive or personally insulting or threatening, very seriously, and it will be dealt with.

I would further like to add that if anyone posts content that appears to be unacceptable, highly illegal, or against forum rules, starting a flamewar with them and criticising them in the threads is itself against site rules. The correct action to take is to report it, and it will be addressed. Only mods and Admin can delete it and they will hear of it far more quickly if it is reported than they will if it is just criticised on the spot.

 

Edited January 8, 2022 by steve25805

[Paulypeeps 4,973]

The poll does not work - Q3 requires an answer, but there is no answer if you answer no to question 2!

You cannot start a question with 'If' and require an answer!

[gldenwetgoose 20,211]

42 minutes ago, Paulypeeps said:

The poll does not work - Q3 requires an answer, but there is no answer if you answer no to question 2!

You cannot start a question with 'If' and require an answer!

Thanks - I've added a 'Not Applicable' response option on Q3.

I imagined the poll would let you skip over any questions, but clearly not - sack the Beta Tester (ie me).

[Bacardi 9,030]

I have been on the receiving end of random dick pics and very crude messages and have just chosen to ignore them because I thought it just came with the fetish forum life. Fortunately it has not happened recently and it's been very pleasant! Thank you mods and admin for keeping peefans wonderful!

[Scot_Lover 1,777]

I’ve never received anything untoward either, maybe male/mod thing too. 
The only unexpected message received was a polite request for a video link, which I had no problem with. 
 

Looking at the poll results, it seem some people have had problems, please report any of these to the mod group. As stated, these will be dealt with.

[Transpeerant 342]

I’ve had a couple of unexpected messages, but they ended up being very polite messages complimenting my videos and nice conversations were made from them 🙂 

[Guest ShyPeeMan]

I haven't had any problems and I've recently had a very pleasant friendly chat with a fellow fan. It's been a very welcoming site and long may it continue

[Guest ShyPeeMan]

2 minutes ago, mrfox said:

I have neither received any private messages nor had anyone reply to mine. I'm not sure why the feature exists

I've had a nice chat with a few members now and a few no replys, guess not everyone chatty or they are not on here very often. 

[gldenwetgoose 20,211]

Very good points raised there @ShyPeeMan & @mrfox

Of course the site provides the ability to send what are termed 'Messages' from one member to others.  Think of that as email in the way it's written, given a title and posted.  It appears in your message inbox. (I have mentioned before that an envelope icon on the top line of the site rather than chat bubble would be more accurate).

Then there is the Live Chat facility which everyone can take part in, with the Live Chat window on the homepage, the Live Chat page itself and depending on your theme with the Chatbox tab on the bottom right of the site.  Messages there are more transitory of course and seen by everyone - although users can be tagged to direct a comment in their direction.

The thought I had in mind when raising the poll was definitely more towards the Messages - and wondering if there may be any abuse happening where members were receiving unwanted approaches or inappropriate content.  We'd all see it of course in Live Chat.  I wasn't clear in the wording I used, but then I didn't want to lead the witness too much either.

(There is the third form of messaging, in that Gold Members can also have one-to-one live chat messages with other Gold Members.  I must admit I hadn't really thought about this, given the relatively smaller numbers of people in that category - but no reason why it couldn't be considered too).

[puddyls 23,242]

generally, i've found this place pretty safe, accepting, and positive. 

i do often receive unsolicited messages from members i'm unfamiliar with. but, i can't recall when that last occurred which involved anything that was concerning. so good job pee fans.

but, also, i have to admit, that there has in the past been the occasional unwanted/unwarranted interaction. but, as far as the members here go, i've so far been able to talk my way out of it, or simply ignored it without any further issues, where i felt it had to be escalated to the admin team. i guess i kinda feel like sharing the kind of shenanigans i do (and in adult content sites like this), there is a sort of risk of setting expectations. like even though it should be reasonable to feel secure in openly participating, sometimes people assume, unreasonably, that means there are no boundaries. 

also, i'm actually kinda glad to see this topic here. it is a great poll that, i feel, opens a hopefully useful and positive dialogue. and like i said, the kinds of interactions here that might make me question my life choices (haha 🤷🏻‍♀️) are quite rare. so kudos. 💋

Edited January 23, 2022 by puddyls

[mickymoist 3,326]

Good to see that you guys are keeping on top of this sort of thing 👍, it's never been an issue for me probably a gender thing as mentioned earlier, it's actually so rare for a PM notification to pop up for me that its a pleasant surprise 🙂.  Over the years I've very occasionally had suggestions via PM that I wasn't interested in but always very polite and never persistent.  

 

Edited January 23, 2022 by mickymoist

[gldenwetgoose 20,211]

Thanks all for the feedback in filling in the forms and commenting on it.

I'll come clean on my reasons for creating it, in that I'm sure we can all think of members who are active and fun in the forums, who've maybe posted content we've enjoyed.  Then one day we realise they've stopped posting, stopped visiting the site, maybe even requested deletion.  There's nothing in their posts and interactions to show why - are they ill?  Have they got a new partner or job, are they too busy now?   Or has somebody been inappropriate in a way that's led them to leave?

There's now over 50 people filled in the survey, so that seems a reasonable sample size to give a spread of results (although the site population is 30,000+  the actual current active population is much less).

- Over half of the people have received an unexpected message (6 out of 10 people) - either from someone they don't know, or just unexpected from someone they already are acquainted with.  I guess every conversation has to start with someone making the first move, so maybe that's just to be expected?

- But 15 people (that's about 3 in every 10) have received a message which they felt was inappropriate - either suggestive, crude, unwanted images, or asking for personal information - those sorts of things which are against site rules.

- Most worrying are the responses to the next question, where several people were either put off posting further site content or considered leaving.  This is NOT acceptable.

- Only one person out of 52 considered or did actually report the offensive post, with people worrying about getting someone into trouble, or it being obvious it was them that had made the report.   When a member's content or activities are reported the staff will never reveal who has reported them.

- A little more encouraging is that 1 in 10 people knew about the 'Block' facility and did or would consider using it.

 

The staff at Peefans are completely committed to making this a fun and friendly place to hang out. There are site rules which apply equally to the chat and private messaging just as they do to the main posts.

So if you receive something which upsets or concerns you, please please do report it to staff.  Don't suffer in silence, or escalate into an argument with other members.  The important point here is that you may laugh it off or consider it all a part of a NSFW online site, but other members may not be so strong.  Report it for them even if not for yourself.  The report button is there for messages, just hit the three dots to the right of the individual thread of that message and please use it.  Be strong for others.

The Block facility is there for you to use too.  On a desktop browser click on your own username at the top right, then on 'Ignored Users'.  On a mobile click the three bars on the top right, then 'Account' to find the 'Ignore Users' link.  Just type the letters of their username until the actual name appears, select it and choose which bits of contact with them you want to block.

Hope that helps - fundamentally though, if it feels wrong it probably is and please bring it to staff attention.

[Kupar 12,317]

7 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

A little more encouraging is that 1 in 10 people knew about the 'Block' facility and did or would consider using it.

Thanks for flagging this - it seems a useful, powerful and subtle tool, and I think it would be good if more people knew about what it can do 🙂 

[Guest ShyPeeMan]

1 minute ago, Kupar said:

Thanks for flagging this - it seems a useful, powerful and subtle tool, and I think it would be good if more people knew about what it can do 🙂 

I hadn't noticed it so will look for it.

 

I have messaged people and been messaged by people who I don't know and I hope I have been polite in the way I have spoken with them because that's how I want to be treated myself. It doesn't seem right to be rude.

[Bladderlad 717]

Never had any problems and all messages have been welcome- agree with others that women  have more  of an issue on the internet ☹️
i have always found this site very respectful, friendly and inclusive 

[speedy3471 10,627]

I've never had any unwanted messages from anyone here either. Everyone here is polite and respectful to one another, just one of many reasons why this place is so awesome🙂

[gldenwetgoose 20,211]

30 minutes ago, Simpfan said:

Most of the people I have encountered here have been wonderful and supportive. I'm happily involved for like the first time in my 65 years (he's not abusive), and most people here respect that. But there's always some dweeb who thinks his penis or ego is the answer to every unasked question, and I have a tendency to avoid them at the first provocation. I love watching men pee and once I finally get to see my own guy do it, the novelty of watching others may dwindle. But until then, I'll be watching.

And wishing you every success in coaxing him into doing so.  Until then as you say we're happy to be second best.   But far better to have content online for when you want it rather than those dweebs you mention.  Please don't ever hesitate to bring those dweebs to our attention - we have a special anti-dweeb spray for those occasions.

(Dweebs is one of those words which doesn't get anywhere enough usage these days).

[Adyguy6970 812]

So far I've not had any problems with messages.  Of course some will have been unexpected but nothing rude, offensive or irrelevant to the subject matter here so far.  

[LoveToHold 213]

2 hours ago, MasterDarcy said:

This place is a sausage fest, in my opinion. Whether it's gay sausage or straight sausage or even bi sausage.

It is what it is. I don't necessarily have any problem with that, as a straight male.

But yes, for me, I would absolutely welcome and encourage more females to be regular visitors and posters.

This might be off-topic. But I an sick to death of seeing a woman registering, and within 24 hours of being a member (whether she has posted or not) she has 12-50 male forum members following her. (And probably filling up her inbox in the process.)

If I were a woman, that would freak me out. But it doesn't happen just here. Happens everywhere. 

ngl It can seem a little weird to suddenly have loads of people following you, especially when you haven't posted a thing yet.  I guess it depends on the person if they find that off putting or flattering, personally for me it's the former but it's part of being female on a porn site, just one of those things you expect as a female imo.
What I was worried about and what thankfully hasn't happened is getting loads of requests for pictures and videos, sometimes without even bothering to say hello or their name.
I have had quite a few messages and have tried to respond to them all but they have all been super positive and welcoming me to the site.  The hardest thing about it is finding the time to chat or keeping up with several conversations at once.  😁

If you message me, I will try to respond but sometimes other things get in the way.  If I'm slow to respond then I apologise in advance but I do appreciate everyone's kindness and words of welcome.  Also, sometimes, quite frankly I might not feel like talking and just want to browse for a bit.  I haven't yet had anyone make any inappropriate posts to me and it's been the most welcoming site I've ever visited.  I hop never to need the admins help but I feel confident that if I had to complain about any problems then they'd be dealt with swiftly.

[MasterDarcy 430]

39 minutes ago, LoveToHold said:

ngl It can seem a little weird to suddenly have loads of people following you, especially when you haven't posted a thing yet.  I guess it depends on the person if they find that off putting or flattering, personally for me it's the former but it's part of being female on a porn site, just one of those things you expect as a female imo.
What I was worried about and what thankfully hasn't happened is getting loads of requests for pictures and videos, sometimes without even bothering to say hello or their name.
I have had quite a few messages and have tried to respond to them all but they have all been super positive and welcoming me to the site.  The hardest thing about it is finding the time to chat or keeping up with several conversations at once.  😁

If you message me, I will try to respond but sometimes other things get in the way.  If I'm slow to respond then I apologise in advance but I do appreciate everyone's kindness and words of welcome.  Also, sometimes, quite frankly I might not feel like talking and just want to browse for a bit.  I haven't yet had anyone make any inappropriate posts to me and it's been the most welcoming site I've ever visited.  I hop never to need the admins help but I feel confident that if I had to complain about any problems then they'd be dealt with swiftly.

See, that would absolutely freak me out! Being followed with a bunch of strangers who I haven't even talked to. Especially if I haven't even made a post, never mind an introductory post.

That's one of the many things that separate men's online behaviour to the online behaviour  of women: women are generally respectful and chill, whereas men generally go into a stampede if they even get the scent of a woman registering. 

It really tends to get overlooked and/or accepted. Vanilla sites are even worse, with men randomly sending photographs of their manhood. 

I'm glad to hear that you haven't had any inappropriate messages/requests. I would hope that you're the rule and not the exception. 

Yeah. Funny you should mention not always being able to reply instantly. I chatted to a woman here, about a year or so ago, who took a day to reply to a guy.... suffice to say, he went a wee bit nuts and it spooked her, not surprisingly.

Yeah. This place is super friendly and very welcoming. It's refreshing, as the majority of forums/social media are just people fighting and being generally toxic.

Edited June 4, 2022 by MasterDarcy

[LoveToHold 213]

Yeah,  It is freaky but as much as maybe it shouldn't be you just learn that that's the way it is and learn to accept it.

I try to keep up to date but the more people pressure me to talk the more likely I am to shut down and ignore them tbh.
I'm not ignoring you I've just got other things to do right now.  If I didn't want to chat with you anymore I hope I'd have the decency to message you and say so.

It's sad when we have to celebrate common decency to one another as something special but *shrugs* it is what it is.  I'm so used to the toxic crap now that it's refreshing to find this place seems to be different.

[MasterDarcy 430]

18 minutes ago, LoveToHold said:

Yeah,  It is freaky but as much as maybe it shouldn't be you just learn that that's the way it is and learn to accept it.

I try to keep up to date but the more people pressure me to talk the more likely I am to shut down and ignore them tbh.
I'm not ignoring you I've just got other things to do right now.  If I didn't want to chat with you anymore I hope I'd have the decency to message you and say so.

It's sad when we have to celebrate common decency to one another as something special but *shrugs* it is what it is.  I'm so used to the toxic crap now that it's refreshing to find this place seems to be different.

I've had it on Reddit a lot, but it's mot exactly the same, as I have a post on a certain subreddit. The worst message are the ones containing nothing but "Hi/Hello". lol

Yep. Preaching to the choir.

It is. Pretty much the main reason why my social media footprint is zero... unless you count Reddit.