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The point when a bursting bladder hits the 'end'.


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So, at the very end of letting my bladder fill and finally losing control, I start feeling repeated spasms, finally leaks that repeat for a few minutes, then an uncontrollable moderate speed release of about 250 ml of urine (estimated), before I regain control.  My bladder still contains 750 ml of urine (measured), but I am able to regain control and find a place to empty.

I didn't call it losing control, since some people say that they keep leaking indefinitely small amounts until they can find a toilet and never fully "lose control."

Other people completely "lose control" and stongly release their entire bladder contents with a strong stream (or at least most of it) without the ability to stop.

Would like to hear about people who have held to the 'end' of their bladder capacity and how the 'end' occurs feelings and process.

(Maybe also comment on your gender and age to see if there are any trends).

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I've written before about my experience with OAB in my life, but as a quick summary I've had occasions as an adult where I have lost control. I also sometimes engage in holding/staged accidents as fantasy. So, I have a somewhat unique perspective from most, I think. 

What I'll say is that a long, slow hold feels different than when I'm experiencing legitimate desperation. My understanding of that is that desperation is caused by a spasm in the bladder, which causes a sudden, intense need to go. With me, that doesn't happen all the time -- often enough, but not every time. So, if I'm just holding pee on a day when my bladder is behaving then the feeling I have is more of a constant pressure, but it's manageable. I rarely push it to the limit (because I don't want to actually weaken my bladder further), but when I have in past I never get to a point where it's truly impossible to stop the pee from escaping. I truly believe that when actual accidents happen from a long hold it's because the person has given up and decided that peeing is preferable to the pain of holding longer.

The sudden desperation is much different. Rather than a constant pressure, it feels like a punch to my bladder. The pee feels like it's right at the edge of my penis and I have to put all of my focus on stopping it. If there was some fullness before a spasm hits the urgency  is even more intense. On the occasions I lost control this happened about 2-3 times in quick succession and all I can say is there was literally nothing I could do to stop it. I can remember squeezing as tight as I could the last time and watching it just...escape.

My bladder is just built this way. About 20% of people's are. But, the other 80%...they don't experience that sudden punch and it's just far less likely they'll ever experience an actual loss of control.

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If it gets to the end - and it's something I don't do very often - then I can't stop it once it starts. It won't be powerful (but then it never is these days really). It'll start off with a leak, then a gap, then perhaps another, but generally two little leaks and the next one will definitely be 'the end'. It's weird though - I know it won't empty completely, even though I think it has, and want it to, because maybe 20 minutes later I'll want to go again, and there'll be enough pee that second time that it cannot possibly have filled up in the bladder from the bloodstream. It's as if my bladder is saying 'you messed me about so I'm going to mess you about now- you think you've emptied me, but I have a secret reserve supply that I'm going to make you get rid of in a little while."

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Pretty much exactly the same for me as both of the above.   I get the need coming in waves and at the peak of a wave could easily leak other than by forcing control - if I'm deliberately holding through choice, or whilst driving for example then I will manage to hold, otherwise I'd definitely go and pee at that point.

On the worst part of each wave, my body's 'automatic' ability to hold isn't sufficient on it's own and I have to physically clench somewhere deep in my pelvis.

Getting to the 'end' which after all is the subject of this post, the chances are that maybe as I get out of the car or move in some way I'll also get a leak.  Usually I have a minute or so at most to get to the bathroom - and often the sink which is closer.

Once a next leak occurs though then that's it, that leak is going to be a flow - and probably just a steady continuous flow.  If I'd chosen to release earlier then I can release quite a powerful flow, but left to the ultimate conclusion then I have little control over flow. Perhaps the same muscles I've had to clench for all they're worth are the same muscles which would do the pushing?

One thing that hasn't been mentioned - on a couple of occasions when I've held too long is the pain which I assume is around my kidneys...  I'm pretty sure holding to the point of feeling that really isn't good for me.

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4 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

 If I'd chosen to release earlier then I can release quite a powerful flow, but left to the ultimate conclusion then I have little control over flow. Perhaps the same muscles I've had to clench for all they're worth are the same muscles which would do the pushing?

That's it exactly - and a plausible theory

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Speaking of myself when i am holding myself to the absolutely max, the desperation hit me as wawes and its getting worse wawe after wawe. When my bladder is completely full i tend to have a few spurts of pee escaping no matter how hard im trying to stop it and after those spurts it doesnt took long until i cant hold myself back anymore. Pee just simply starts gushing out of my bladder and i just cant stop the flood anymore and had to wait in powerless stage until my bladder is near emty to regain control.

Edited by willinglywet
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It's rare that I have ever involuntarily wet myself before. Usually I have serious control over my bladder to the point at which I decide to let go in case I cause issues.

What I did notice is that I can hold extreme pressure, but eventually I feel my pee musles start to spasm and then gradually weaken followed by hot spurts of pee spraying uncontrolably into my boxers. As soon as my little guy is all warm and wet it becomes even harder to hold. I can regain control a couple of times (2 maybe 3 if I am lucky), but at that point I am perhaps 2/3 minutes away from being a full on hose pipe of pee.

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I'm male and in my 30s. I've never had a genuine accident where my bladder just released everything on its own. Even if I'm at the point where I'm utterly, utterly dying, I'm still able to hold 90 percent of it. I will eventually start dripping (although it takes me a long time to even get to that point) and the leaks will gradually get bigger and more frequent, but I never lose it all until I decide to give up. I've always considered myself really lucky that I'm more interested in the holding/desperation part than having accidents, because it's incredibly difficult to get me to have a true accident. (One of my favorite things is to be told to hold it by a woman who enjoys male desperation. I have had many moments where I was talking to someone and they were doing everything they can to get me to wet and I still wouldn't -- I just keep holding and holding and holding. I guess it's a good problem to have.)

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21 hours ago, BGSB86 said:

I’m a 30 year old female. I usually have to pee pretty badly about 1.5-2 hours after drinking water, but I can hold it for many more if I really need to. I usually leak very small amounts but over a period of time, it will start to add up and a noticeable dark patch will appear in my crotch.

When I am at my absolute limit, I spurt in gradually increasing waves. Small, medium, large, very large, and then so large you can basically say I “lost control” at the point. If I am in front of a toilet, a slow but never ending leak starts. I think years of experience has led me to be able to hold a long time despite not having the greatest bladder capacity.

It's amazing how much worse it gets when you're looking at the toilet or you know that it's very close. Years ago I was desperate in the car for several hours and I started leaking badly *just* as the car stopped and we were home. It's like the anticipation of finally being home made me begin losing it. (Side note: I'm feeling inspired now to drink a ton of water this evening and push my bladder to the limit. Wish me luck...)

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