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Discussion communities of like-minded people over 30 for fetish content?


p1ssputz

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I know this is a weird question to ask, but I've been feeling kind of isolated in my enjoyment of kinks lately. Today, I started searching for some communities where discussion was free and open for various kinks and aspects of kinks; I decided to see if there were any Discord rooms that might have good communities, as I've had luck with that in other areas (mainly language learning).

The issue that I've run into so far is that Discord, as awesome as it can be, is filled with 18- to 22-year-olds (at best; at worst, it's much younger). There's no dearth of fetish content and rooms that are open and accepting of multiple things, but the age gap is weird and the culture's definitely different in the wrong ways. (I won't judge any fetishes....but bad art and cheesy, childish roleplay channels do make me cringe a little bit.)

When you all want to engage in healthy discussion about your kinks with a like-minded community, where do you all turn outside of Peefans chat? Where do the over-30 crowd hang out online (if they aren't too busy being married with a new baby)? I'm asking because this feeling of isolation isn't going to go away until I can find a conversation group or conversation partner (preferably female - discussing intimate, sexual feelings one-on-one with another guy isn't something I've been able to get used to) about fetish-related content. Unfortunately, I don't think that Discord is the way to go for this unless I can find a community of people closer to my age. (Alternatively, maybe I should get an IRC client and snoop around - maybe there's something to that.) Ideally, the engagement level would be relatively equal among members and there would be a healthy balance among the genders as there is here.

Yes, I'm looking for unicorns. Do they exist? Where are they? Thanks!

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Sorry not quite over 30 yet but I do have to agree with you on discord. Discord in general can be such a mess, especially the ones with hundreds of members. That's why I prefer smaller, more focused discord groups. I run a few, one of which is kink based (but not this one lol) and I find the discussions there are easy to keep up with and not on the extreme end. This group only has a handful of people and I can count on one hand how many are actually active lol.

All this to say, maybe look for smaller groups to start with. I know there's nothing really stopping the groups from growing over time, but at least by then you'd have personal connections with people to speak with individually. Where to find theses groups I couldn't tell you. I found all of mine through Facebook lol.

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I see. I gave up Facebook over a decade ago now, and I haven't looked back. To be honest, it's not so much the size I have a problem with or necessarily the moderation (I haven't run into really bad moderation anywhere), but you are correct in that many of these groups aren't really focused. And thinking about that, I think that's one thing that tends to separate me from the other people on Discord - I'm not necessarily there to "hang out". I realize that the younger servers seem to try to cater to hanging out, with meme channels and music bots and all of that; bad art and roleplay fall squarely into that category. I guess the culture is weird. Given that I have trouble finding things in common with people my age anyway, there's no way that I'll be able to "hang out" with a bunch of kids. Throw sex and fetishes into the mix and it becomes really messy really quickly - an attention-seeking spamfest. It's not ideal.

(Incidentally, the reason that I love the language learning forums I'm on is because there is an inherent focus and goal built into the entire thing - even if it does get unfocused, it's still in the target language, and having unfocused areas can sometimes actually help by increasing immersion. It helps that the main server that I frequent for Chinese learning is very well-moderated and organized. But general communities aren't really like that.)

I guess creating a server would also be an option, but that means trying to form a community rather than find an existing one, which has its own challenges. You may be right, though - I'll try starting with smaller groups to see if I can find a diamond in the rough, even if that statistically means that I'll have fewer opportunities to create meaningful discussions within a community.

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I'm not sure if that is what you're looking for, but I like Fetlife a lot. It's a huge community for all kinds of fetishes, so it might take a while until you find the things you like and people with the same interests. There are thousands of discussion groups, but you can also get in touch with other members individually via private messages. I've met amazing people there and had interesting conversations with some of them - and yes, they were mostly women.

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