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Iam sorry that happened to you. Words can and do hurt. Added to the fact that media and porn shows males and females in the so called perfect shape and form

It's very damaging to young people seeing this. Porn shows guys that are hung like horses, not every guy is like that. They say feel like something is wrong with them if they don't have a 10 inch cock

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36 minutes ago, greedyneedygirl said:


I didn’t look at my cunt until I was 14, and when I did, it was purely because my friend and I had planned to lose our virginities to each other. I remember calling up another of my best friends at the time and telling her what was about to happen. The guy in question was well on his way over, and my friend advised me to shave everything, immediately.

This would have been the first time I had seen my cunt in all her glory. As we were about to have sex, I remember him commenting on me having something “hanging down” there. I don’t think he meant it as an insult, but I suppose what he had seen was the neat, perfect vulvas that we are exposed to through online pornography. I’m well aware that this was the source of sex education for all my male friends at the time.
I can’t say I thought much about it in that instant; I had bigger things to deal with – such as the fact that I had no idea what I was doing. After what I can only describe as an anticlimactic encounter, I recall repeatedly replaying in my mind the comment he had made about my cunt. I looked online, wanting to see what most women’s cunts looked like, but I certainly didn’t want to ask anyone about it.

The internet, as we know, can be a scary space, filled with opportunities for self-diagnosis, and the cunts I saw there all emulated what I knew were referred to as “designer vaginas”. These were cunts that were perfectly symmetrical, but this wasn’t me. But I stumbled upon Chaturbate one day and realised that women were often chosen for their ‘meaty’ labia, or were incredibly hirsute, or their clitorises were larger and more prominent.

The lad who I lost my virginity to had been the first, but he wasn’t the last, to offer his unsolicited opinion as to what my cunt looked like. I can recall two other instances: one was very public (through a Blackberry messenger broadcast that a friend decoded for me) from a boy who I’m pretty sure would have married himself given half the chance; the other was a lighthearted comment made by an ex-partner. The second comment, which came several years after the first, was enough to tip me over the edge. I became increasingly paranoid about my body. I would insist on having sex with the lights off, and if anybody attempted to perform cunnilingus on me, I would freeze. This affected my ability to develop healthy sexual relationships and I began to form an unhealthy obsession with what I ought to look like. Aged 14, 15, 16, 17 and even 18, I was yet to find intersectional feminism and body positivity, and during those formative years I spent time obsessing on internet forums, googling labiaplasty, staring at my vulva and imagining what she would look like in a perfect world. There were constant reminders for me that my body did not live up to expectations and therefore I harboured a severe amount of shame about what I looked like. The reminders that, as a woman, I was supposed to transform into a superhuman, pornographically pruned version of myself were never-ending: there were comments from boys; girls talking about cunt lips that protruded, referring to them as “hanging ham”; and a Channel 4 TV documentary about a woman going through surgery to get a “designer vagina”, her relative squealing when they saw what her original vulva looked like. This shame was something that I carried with me well into my early 20s.

Then I recall finding an art piece during my research called The Great Wall of Vagina by Jamie McCartney, which altered my thinking. I was beginning to witness a real celebration of the multitude of forms that cunts could take. It wasn’t as though my attitude immediately changed. I did, however, begin to feel as though my increasing knowledge of feminism was somehow at odds with the discomfort I felt about my own body. How could I encourage other women to flip the discourse around “imperfections” when I was still battling with my own insecurities?

The anxiety I had developed around my vulva was heightened by the fact that I had not yet figured out who I was attracted to. I had gone through periods of feeling as though I was asexual and, after having multiple negative experiences with men resulting in marriage, children and finally divorce, I remained as confused as before. Aside from being convinced that I had found other women attractive and messing around a little bit, I was yet to be entirely intimate with another woman. I think I had psyched myself up so much because the teenage boys I had been with and ultimately my husband had seemed oblivious to my controlling tendencies to turn off lights, but I had gathered from the limited experiences that I had had, and conversations with friends, that intimacy with a woman would be very different.

It wasn’t until I was 32 that I spoke to one of my friends about my insecurities, and this was because she broached the topic first. She told me how she had always been insecure about the fact that her cunt wasn’t “perfect”. I was taken aback to hear her speak so honestly and, very reservedly, I told her that I had experienced similar feelings. This friend had always seemed to me to be entirely confident when it came to sex, but I suppose people may have thought that of me, too. I had become pretty strategic when it came to hiding my insecurities. She told me it had taken a sexual experience with another woman to make her realise that how she looked was completely normal. She told me that during her first time sleeping with another woman she had felt comfortable enough to relay her insecurity, and the woman did more than enough to reassure her otherwise, and that was a turning point for me, too.

It was a combination of things that changed my perception and ability to acknowledge that I was, and still am, beautiful as is. I’m fortunate enough now to be surrounded by women who choose their words more wisely than 14-year-olds. The internet has brought with it an understanding that women are powerful and, while pornography is still damaging in promoting stereotypes, there is a colossal, positive community burgeoning alongside it. I have not had a woman look at me and degrade me for what I look like. In fact, I’m pleased to say that the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. What I have learned is that language is extremely important, and I hope that we can socialise boys and girls into understanding that women’s bodies come in lots of different shapes and sizes. This includes people who identify with a multitude of different gender identities. If the young men in my life had been educated in understanding the implications of flippant comments and were exposed to a broader spectrum of images, that would have made my journey easier. Each and every one of us has a different relationship to our bodies and that is OK – the judgment I placed on my cunt was not a signifier of a lack of feminist credentials. If there is one thing I know today, it is that my cunt is phenomenal and I wouldn’t want her any other way.

 

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I am sorry as well. This is one of the main reasons I never ever watch professional porn. I love the what you referred to as “imperfections”. I believe it’s called being human. And professional porn has not been kind to those of us guys who are not gifted in the penis length/girth area. I’ve been laughed off of chat roulette and other similar sites. Thank you for sharing. 

Edited by Mark J
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1 hour ago, owlman76 said:

Here's an interesting one for you, I had a friend who'd been involved in porn films, we were chatting one day and he told me that when you see a woman who's covered in loads of spunk after the "money shot" a lot of the time it's actually icing sugar mixed with water, mixed correctly it does resemble the stuff, no man could really produce such amounts. Apparently the 70's band 10cc got its name from the fact that the amount of sperm a normal male produces in one ejaculation is around 10cc's of fluid.

Doesn’t surprise me. Haven’t watched a “pro” video since I discovered “amateur” vids way back in the back room vcr days. I’m sure some “am’s” get money for their film activities, but no music (unless it’s on their radio or tv) or plots. I understand that many still prefer the quality of pro vs am, and that’s totally cool. Just not for me. 

 

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14 hours ago, greedyneedygirl said:


I didn’t look at my cunt until I was 14, and when I did, it was purely because my friend and I had planned to lose our virginities to each other. I remember calling up another of my best friends at the time and telling her what was about to happen. The guy in question was well on his way over, and my friend advised me to shave everything, immediately.

This would have been the first time I had seen my cunt in all her glory. As we were about to have sex, I remember him commenting on me having something “hanging down” there. I don’t think he meant it as an insult, but I suppose what he had seen was the neat, perfect vulvas that we are exposed to through online pornography. I’m well aware that this was the source of sex education for all my male friends at the time.
I can’t say I thought much about it in that instant; I had bigger things to deal with – such as the fact that I had no idea what I was doing. After what I can only describe as an anticlimactic encounter, I recall repeatedly replaying in my mind the comment he had made about my cunt. I looked online, wanting to see what most women’s cunts looked like, but I certainly didn’t want to ask anyone about it.

The internet, as we know, can be a scary space, filled with opportunities for self-diagnosis, and the cunts I saw there all emulated what I knew were referred to as “designer vaginas”. These were cunts that were perfectly symmetrical, but this wasn’t me. But I stumbled upon Chaturbate one day and realised that women were often chosen for their ‘meaty’ labia, or were incredibly hirsute, or their clitorises were larger and more prominent.

The lad who I lost my virginity to had been the first, but he wasn’t the last, to offer his unsolicited opinion as to what my cunt looked like. I can recall two other instances: one was very public (through a Blackberry messenger broadcast that a friend decoded for me) from a boy who I’m pretty sure would have married himself given half the chance; the other was a lighthearted comment made by an ex-partner. The second comment, which came several years after the first, was enough to tip me over the edge. I became increasingly paranoid about my body. I would insist on having sex with the lights off, and if anybody attempted to perform cunnilingus on me, I would freeze. This affected my ability to develop healthy sexual relationships and I began to form an unhealthy obsession with what I ought to look like. Aged 14, 15, 16, 17 and even 18, I was yet to find intersectional feminism and body positivity, and during those formative years I spent time obsessing on internet forums, googling labiaplasty, staring at my vulva and imagining what she would look like in a perfect world. There were constant reminders for me that my body did not live up to expectations and therefore I harboured a severe amount of shame about what I looked like. The reminders that, as a woman, I was supposed to transform into a superhuman, pornographically pruned version of myself were never-ending: there were comments from boys; girls talking about cunt lips that protruded, referring to them as “hanging ham”; and a Channel 4 TV documentary about a woman going through surgery to get a “designer vagina”, her relative squealing when they saw what her original vulva looked like. This shame was something that I carried with me well into my early 20s.

Then I recall finding an art piece during my research called The Great Wall of Vagina by Jamie McCartney, which altered my thinking. I was beginning to witness a real celebration of the multitude of forms that cunts could take. It wasn’t as though my attitude immediately changed. I did, however, begin to feel as though my increasing knowledge of feminism was somehow at odds with the discomfort I felt about my own body. How could I encourage other women to flip the discourse around “imperfections” when I was still battling with my own insecurities?

The anxiety I had developed around my vulva was heightened by the fact that I had not yet figured out who I was attracted to. I had gone through periods of feeling as though I was asexual and, after having multiple negative experiences with men resulting in marriage, children and finally divorce, I remained as confused as before. Aside from being convinced that I had found other women attractive and messing around a little bit, I was yet to be entirely intimate with another woman. I think I had psyched myself up so much because the teenage boys I had been with and ultimately my husband had seemed oblivious to my controlling tendencies to turn off lights, but I had gathered from the limited experiences that I had had, and conversations with friends, that intimacy with a woman would be very different.

It wasn’t until I was 32 that I spoke to one of my friends about my insecurities, and this was because she broached the topic first. She told me how she had always been insecure about the fact that her cunt wasn’t “perfect”. I was taken aback to hear her speak so honestly and, very reservedly, I told her that I had experienced similar feelings. This friend had always seemed to me to be entirely confident when it came to sex, but I suppose people may have thought that of me, too. I had become pretty strategic when it came to hiding my insecurities. She told me it had taken a sexual experience with another woman to make her realise that how she looked was completely normal. She told me that during her first time sleeping with another woman she had felt comfortable enough to relay her insecurity, and the woman did more than enough to reassure her otherwise, and that was a turning point for me, too.

It was a combination of things that changed my perception and ability to acknowledge that I was, and still am, beautiful as is. I’m fortunate enough now to be surrounded by women who choose their words more wisely than 14-year-olds. The internet has brought with it an understanding that women are powerful and, while pornography is still damaging in promoting stereotypes, there is a colossal, positive community burgeoning alongside it. I have not had a woman look at me and degrade me for what I look like. In fact, I’m pleased to say that the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. What I have learned is that language is extremely important, and I hope that we can socialise boys and girls into understanding that women’s bodies come in lots of different shapes and sizes. This includes people who identify with a multitude of different gender identities. If the young men in my life had been educated in understanding the implications of flippant comments and were exposed to a broader spectrum of images, that would have made my journey easier. Each and every one of us has a different relationship to our bodies and that is OK – the judgment I placed on my cunt was not a signifier of a lack of feminist credentials. If there is one thing I know today, it is that my cunt is phenomenal and I wouldn’t want her any other way.

 

4288.thumb.jpg.91c14fcabd01d85562480f167c902d8b.jpg

You are a brave strong woman for writing this!! *HUGS* I am sorry that, that guy said that to you. Each persons body is special and unique. If each woman had the exact same 'flower', we'd all still be beautiful but i think differences makes us more ourselves. 🙂 

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16 hours ago, greedyneedygirl said:

4288.thumb.jpg.91c14fcabd01d85562480f167c902d8b.jpg

One only has to look at the Pee Pictures to realize that the various girls are very different.

I was in conversation with a young lady who said that she has extra large female parts.
She said that she had to be very careful in her selection of bathing suits as she could hang out and put on quite a show.

I noticed that some females had labia lips that hung down enough that they were noticeable in a picture from the rear.
I asked this young lady how she would fair in this regard.  She told that she would check that evening.  The next day she told me that she was amazed at how far down she hung.

She sent me two pictures that demonstrated her problem.

carlysrear.jpg.1678fae1ea5f03d89e83304a00fc71f4.jpg   Newpanties.thumb.jpg.3a03c14c8e32193c3265c3a5a854d601.jpg

I guess that one does not realize the problems of really large parts until one faces that issues.

 

@greedyneedygirlYou did bear you soul with your perceived problems growing up.  I thank you every so much for such soul searching.

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On 10/24/2018 at 9:11 AM, greedyneedygirl said:

he wasn’t the last, to offer his unsolicited opinion as to what my cunt looked like. I can recall two other instances: one was very public (through a Blackberry messenger broadcast that a friend decoded for me) from a boy who I’m pretty sure would have married himself given half the chance; the other was a lighthearted comment made by an ex-partner. The second comment, which came several years after the first, was enough to tip me over the edge. I became increasingly paranoid about my body. I would insist on having sex with the lights off, and if anybody attempted to perform cunnilingus on me, I would freeze. This affected my ability to develop healthy sexual relationships and I began to form an unhealthy obsession with what I ought to look like.

I am very sorry that you suffered this cruelty.  Society has a responsibility to give young women the confidence to reject these ignorant remarks,  but often fails to do so because of prudery. 

In Australia, because of prudish censorship, magazines are actually required to photo shop the pictures of women so that their inner labia are erased.   I have read that this has caused distress among many young women who are made to believe they are not "normal".  They even seek cosmetic surgery to make them look like the magazine images.

The endless variety of women's vulvas has been a constant source of delight to me throughout my life.  Labia don't have to be short or long or symmetrical or anything else.  They can all be lovely.  

I am happy to know that you have learned to appreciate the beauty of your own cunt.

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On 10/24/2018 at 12:46 PM, owlman76 said:

Here's an interesting one for you, I had a friend who'd been involved in porn films, we were chatting one day and he told me that when you see a woman who's covered in loads of spunk after the "money shot" a lot of the time it's actually icing sugar mixed with water, mixed correctly it does resemble the stuff, no man could really produce such amounts. Apparently the 70's band 10cc got its name from the fact that the amount of sperm a normal male produces in one ejaculation is around 10cc's of fluid.

Yes, I've heard about the 'icing sugar', I knew a guy who used to use a facial lotion, (no pun intended), that had the appearance of sperm. Women also use artificial products to mimic the look of secretions. Take a look at Chaturbate to see plenty of 'gooey' examples. On the other hand I've also seen many amateur 'bukakke' films where the sperm is very genuine.

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  • 3 weeks later...

It sure would be interesting to me if I could be able to feel some of the natural variations between women’s legs.  It has been interesting to read descriptions that members have written describing the female parts.  Being able to feel how the different female anatomy parts such as labia majora, labia minora and clitoris fit together would be interesting to me since I am blind, I cannot view pictures or videos to see them.  However, let’s be honest, if this could happen, being male, this would be a very arousing experience for me.

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On 10/26/2018 at 9:38 AM, owlman76 said:

I think this topic reminds me of a line from a Monty Python film, "The Life of Brian" the part where they are all following him calling him the Messiah, our leader, and he turns around and tells them they are all individuals.

We ARE all individuals, and as such we are all different, we look different, we feel different, we act different, and that's what makes things work! I like an average sized woman, some people like larger women, some like stick thin women, there's a woman for every man, likewise there's a man for every woman, you just have to find the one. There's far too much emphasis in the fashion industry and the press today on what is the perfect woman, normally, tall, thin, blonde with fairly large breasts, says who? My wife isn't blonde, nor is she stick thin, she does, however, have a great personality, and that to me is very important, I had a girlfriend who could have been a model, she was gorgeous and fantastic in bed, the type of girl who walked into a room and everyone looked at her, she turned out to be a right cow, took me for a load of cash and took up with another bloke, keeping everything including the house!

Young girls growing up today have enough pressures without feeling they have to conform to a set standard of how they look, act, or dress, it's wrong, you are what you is, be proud of your "imperfections", because lets be honest, who's to say what is perfect and what isn't? It's not what you've got it's what you do with it that counts, I remember a heartbreaking letter in the agony column of a national newspaper from a young girl of about 15 who felt really bad because she wasn't very tall, and wasn't stick thin and felt really crappy and depressed. I wrote to the paper, replying to that young girl and telling her about me. I was four feet six inches tall when I left school, and pretty thin, I used to get bullied quite a bit too, now I'm not far off six foot, and a decent build, I soon started to grow after leaving school and being able to handle myself the bullying stopped, hopefully, it gave her something to go on for.

To anyone who's feeling worthless, or rejected, or in any other way unhappy because of something about themselves that they consider isn't "normal" or "perfect", I'd say this, " look around you, look at the attractive tall slim girl, why is she going out with that short bloke with the big ears? what about that fella who looks like Richard Gere, why is he married to that short dumpy girl with the limp? look at the fella next door to you, okay, he's no male model, but he works hard, takes care of his family and doesn't get drunk and beat up his wife. What about that lady down the street, she's no oil painting, but she keeps her kids well dressed and she cooks a cracking Sunday lunch!

We are all imperfect, we all have our faults, but to a certain person we are all the most perfect person in the world, and to those who say we aren't and take delight in making others feel worthless, I say this, fuck you and grow up.

 

Hear, hear @owlman76 - Totally agree. 

Ive just nearly commented on literally the last post I browsed before this one - on a contributor who had made a comment relating to her perception of the attractiveness of a personal body feature.

There’s beauty everywhere and it’s a crap world we live in that imposes it’s shallow views into receptive young minds. 

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On 10/25/2018 at 3:56 PM, greedyneedygirl said:

Yes, I've heard about the 'icing sugar', I knew a guy who used to use a facial lotion, (no pun intended), that had the appearance of sperm. Women also use artificial products to mimic the look of secretions. Take a look at Chaturbate to see plenty of 'gooey' examples. On the other hand I've also seen many amateur 'bukakke' films where the sperm is very genuine.

The new lipsticks that have the "wet look' are erotic bringing to mind the look of a satisfied woman who glows in the fact that her talented oral skills have brought her man to a completion, with some of the evidence still clinging to her ample lips.

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