steve25805

I have a T-shirt that proclaims my fluency in three languages, English. Sarcasm. Profanity.

The beautiful hissing of a lady pissing must sound awesome up close, like if she is squatting over your face.

Back when I used to be more confident with my sexual banter, I invited our female mod - Sophie - to come visit if ever she was in the area, with a full bladder so as to pee on my living room carpet. It was fun to imagine and I even wrote fictitious stories about it. Of course we both knew it would never really happen but it was a fun thought. For me anyway. In real life no one but me has ever peed on the carpet in my current abode, but if any lady were to show any interest in doing so, christening my carpet would definitely seal the deal for me in terms of wanting her in my life, l

I'm an 18 year old student and have been getting very friendly with the English teacher in spite of the fact that she is 20 years older than me. And when I say friendly, I do mean in an erotic and sexual way. We often hang out in her classroom after school on the pretext of extra studies but in reality, once the school has emptied we have fun of a rather more erotic kind. Turns out her thing is pissing. Here she is enjoying the pleasure of pissing all over me... That felt awesome, her hot piss splashing all over my naked body, I can tell you. And as is so often the ca

I think the last time I rode a bicycle I was 18. That was 40 years ago.

This has probably been asked before but I cant remember....thats the trouble with a thread nearly 30 pages long. Too much to remember and too much to go back through. But its a simple question. What was your favourite subject at school?

Do you only pee in the shower when you are taking a shower? Or do you ever occasionally squat and pee in the shower cubicle as a naughtier alternative to the toilet?

English is my first language as it is for the majority of us here. But many years ago - decades ago in fact, back in the early 80s when I was still in my late teens - I had a German girlfriend for a time. And I set out to prove my love by learning her language. Those were the days before the internet so I invested in language cassettes with exercise books, and learned and practiced reading, speaking, and writing in German, and understanding written and spoken German. I never learnt it well enough to call myself fluent but I could speak it well enough to get by. But 40 years on I have forg

Dear Wet Carpet. I am a 42 year old car salesman and my wife a busty blonde, blue eyed, curvaceous and big bottomed 38 year old retail manager. Today we ripped out the living room carpet to replace with a new one, which after moving all the furniture out and back in again ended up taking up most of the day. Anyway last night we were sharing a bottle of wine in the living room and generally relaxing, when my wife groaned that she had to go upstairs for a pee, calling it a pain in the ass. Which is when I made the naughtiest suggestion. "Why bother going all the way upstairs? We are ge

The thing to bear in mind firstly is that if you were to post erotica under your own name, your own friends and relatives could potentially read it and know it is your work. So I would advise a pen name unless you are happy with the possibility of your nearest and dearest knowing some of your erotic imaginings. This might be particularly the case if your erotica includes fetish material like for example peeing. It is after all a minority interest with many narrowminds out there who find anything to do with peeing disgusting. Adopting an anonymous pen name protects your real identity from any p

My parents were nominal Church of England Christians but neither of them were practicing ones, though my mum was more of a believer than my dad. Neither ever went to church except for weddings and funerals. But my siblings and I got dumped in Sunday school most weeks, more so our parents could get rid of us for the morning than for any other reason. Everyone else there knew this and resented us being there as if we had any choice in the matter, which did not showcase much sense of Christian charity to me. After bible lessons we all traipsed off to the local church where we heard sermons, sung

An update. I have so much shit going down in life, on the work front, on the home front, on the psychological front, on the financial front, and on the medical front, most of which I choose not to discuss. But I have felt the need to withdraw into myself and focus upon the friendships and relationships that really matter, the people close to me in real life. What I am about to say has far more to do with my own psyche and the state I find myself in than it does with anything or anyone here. But although I recognise that there are many good people here and have enjoyed my time on this for

Dear Wet Carpet. My wife and I were staying in this cheap seaside hotel for a few days and got into the habit of peeing in the shower or the sink instead of the toilet just for fun. It is the sort of thing we do at home sometimes. Well on our last night we were laying naked together on the bed when we both needed to pee. My wife suggested being really naughty and that we both stand together and pee against the hotel room wall. She said we had paid in cash, our surname was very common and we had never given our first names, so they could never trace us. We'd be long gone by the time they f

I am a woman in my 30s and have been seeing this guy I met down the pub. And he likes to watch me piss on his bedroom carpet beside his bed. And it's his carpet so if he wants to let me do that, why not? Its more fun and less hassle than just boringly going to the bathroom. It is kind of liberating to be able to just piss on the floor without giving a shit. I've never dated a guy who wanted me to piss on his carpet before, but there's a first time for everything I suppose. And like I said, not my carpet. So why not enjoy the naughty pleasure of doing it? It is after all rather good fun as

My wife and I and another colleague and his wife were enjoying a meal and a few drinks at a posh restaurant with our boss. His secretary was with him. They were known to be an item. Well after a few too many drinks, the boss was sharing some anecdote about a co worker he knew years back who was allegedly into peeing on her boyfriends. We found this funny, but even more so when his secretary dropped him in it with this golden nugget of information - "That reminds me of the time you had me pee on you in the bath." The boss has struggled to live down that little revelation ever since.

I am getting on a bit now but back in the early 70s I made a lot of money doing outrageous things as a high class call girl.... The most lucrative evening of my life was the evening I spent at this mansion, getting peed on for the pleasure of some rich men and their wives, girlfriends, and secretaries. They all - men and women alike - found it most entertaining to pee all over me whenever they felt like it, It seemed to be a good laugh to them all. Some of the guys, and even a couple of the women, thought it most hilariously funny to pee in my face. Still I had the last laugh wh

I am not a practicing Christian myself nor am I really a true believer, though I do sometimes look at the state of humanity and the planet we live on, the ways things are going, and I do occasionally wonder if we are actually in a biblical end of days scenario right now. I did attend sunday school as a kid, and have in more recent years indulged Christians in long discussions about their faith, both online and offine. I have conversed with many devout Christians of various types over the years, and have debated with some of the more politicised ones in America on politics forums. I h

If you had the power to create one new law, what would it be?

Dear Wet Carpet. I am nearly 20 right now but still living at home with my parents. For the last couple of years or so, a naughtiness that has developed since my discovery of the joys of the pub, I have been enjoying the pleasure of just peeing on my bedroom carpet on purpose instead of going to the toilet, usually in a corner or sometimes right beside my bed. I don't know why but just being so dirty and naughty is kind of a rebellious and erotic thrill. It is fun to just outrageously piss anywhere instead of going to the toilet. Anyway, there I was the other day with no knickers on

Dear Wet Carpet, I am a 39 year old curvaceous and ample breasted married woman with long dark hair and blue eyes. I am about five foot six in height. My husband is a fair bit taller and older than me, being in his early 40s. I work in retail and he works for local government. We have a couple of kids, a 12 year old boy and a 9 year old daughter. But of course we make sure that they are totally unaware of our secret pleasures. In fact no one knows. You see, when we have the house to ourselves, usually on planned days off when the kids are at school, we like to drink loads of tea and

To me the motion of pissing all over something that belongs to someone else is so much more erotic if they want me to do it because they enjoy it too. People pissing where they shouldnt even without approval still turns me on, dont get me wrong, and I love porn pics and vids of random hotel room pissings and suchlike. But when I think more deeply about it, consent does kind of matter. Pissing all over some woman's carpet because she wanted me to do it would be so much more fun than doing it to piss her off. Likewise, a lady pissing on my stuff with my consent would be more of a

Naughty peeing is my most intense interest, though more in girls doing it than myself. Giving and receiving golden showers would also be my thing. And if it were the right girl i might even drink her pee if she wanted me too. Not heavily into wetting but I can see the attraction. Desperation does not really do it for me except as a means to an end, a very long piss, lol. Naughtiest place I have ever peed is on my bedroom carpet, which wasnt an option in the poll so I had to click "other" There are members of this very forum who I'd gladly allow to pee on my face if they wa

In all honesty, if I saw someone I knew - a work colleague perhaps, or someone who works in the local store I sometimes shop in, anything like that - in a pee porn video, I would be delighted in such secret knowledge. But I would still feel obliged to keep it to myself. I would never want to make her feel uncomfortable by letting her know that I know about it. This would be especially so if she were half my age. She would never know I knew about it. The only time it could make a difference would be if we were engaging in flirtation, heading in the direction of a sexual relationship or enc

Dear Wet Carpet. My friend and I were out drinking in this pub when we both needed a piss. We went into the ladies. No one else was there but we decided to go into a cubicle together anyway, a habit acquired at busier times. Giggling, we laughed about who was going to use the toilet first and make the other wait, when my friend laughed and said we need not have to make a decision. Let's just both piss on the floor. I think because we were drinking, the naughtiness of the idea appealed to me. And so moments later, there we both were, our short skirts hoisted, our panties pulled aside

Dear Wet Carpet. I am a police woman in my late 20s based in a large British city. Usually of course we travel around in pairs in cars when on duty, but every now and again, eg if I am to attend court to give evidence or something like that when I am not expected to respond to emergency calls, I might be in a car on my own. Anyway, I am seeing this guy and know his working patterns and know when he is likely to be home. You see he has something of a kink which I enjoy indulging. And when alone on duty if I need to pee and think he is likely to be home I will often quickly detou