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spywareonya    700

Ok guys, the time has come.

 

I came upon the decision to leave this marvellous forum. I'm not saying I will never, ever, like  a blood-oath, never come to this place again.

Nobody knows the future that way.

What I know is that something changed in the last days. I felt that something very important had been obtained, and that I gave something equal in return.

Talking with you helped me a lot rediscover a playfulness that had been a bit lost in my sexual life, and found here marvellous friends. Really good-soulled individuals, which confirmed the decision I undertook years ago, when really chosing to undergo Adepthood: Mankind is worthy of being saved. You guys are wonderful, you are friends, more than friends.

Yet, I felt I gave all that really makes me special. I know that people would like to see other pics of me or hear about more adventues (I talked about 15% of them) but that is not what I was up to. I was here to share something limitlessly more important than arousing: we ALL felt rejected by a world that consider us freaks. Who says elsewhere is a lucky or a liar, either. I wanted to assure you all that piss-orgies had Always been the only way to greet the only Beings that really could judge us. Piss-fetishists are the real "Flock of God".

THAT was what I was really up to. And I obtained it.

 

I notice, too, that in the last days, the main focus of the forum shifted from my threads to those of other people, who offer a complete different "atmosphere" than me, exactly during the same days in which I started feel this sensation and also lost the push to post as aggressively as before. It is some kind of cosmic timing. The attentions I got on my last important thread, "Post 666", and certain PMs I got from very particular members (not gonna reveal who) really helped me feel that something important had been built, and that now is the time of passing the olimpic torch to someone else.

I'll not edit my post, not even the most intimate ones. Beside the fact that I KNOW the become un-editable after a certain amount of time, I didn't even tried to see if they still were: they are a gift, for people I loved more sincerely than you could ever understand. And THAT is the exact reason why I'm leaving. I had been a "very active lurker" in this forum since its Birth years ago, I joined to talk with people I had been knowing from posts and profiles for YEARS while lurking. I loved you. I still love you. I wasn't here to "partecipate in a forum". I was here to make love to people I loved. 

From my side, I came. 

Now it is time to re-dress and leave the room, leaving my lover with the memory of something sincere and potentially life-changing.

 

 

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owlman76    282

Good luck in the future I hope you find what you are looking for, I enjoyed reading your posts, they made me smile,best wishes, not only from me, but from the rest of us "freaks" on here. We're only freaks to those who don't understand.lol 

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nopjans    209

Sorry to see you leave. Like a comet streaking through the cosmos you have appeared and now leave. The interaction of our gravities have changed us, and you. I hope to see you return some day, if only to read the further chapters of of my stories when they get written :smile:. Be well and I hope our orbits cross again some day.

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Scot_Lover    514

This so sad, it's like saying goodbye to a loved one. Maigh told me you were leaving, I didn't want to believe it at first, but somehow she knew. You made such a difference to more than a few people here, and bought some freshness to the site. You were like sunshine on a cold winters day, we will miss you dreadfully.

So sorry you made this decision, all the best for your future, and we hope to see you here again.

Scot_Lover, Maigh and Mary

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Ivy1989    1,214

What the heck girly? Variety is the spice to life, thr perfect course to a buffet, the more their is and more flavours, it’s what makes this forum great , pls do come back 

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steve25805    33,389

Sorry to see you go.

You had a depth to your soul that was far deeper than just being here to get off.

You were interesting.

And had a good heart and an insight into the true nature of things that is rare.

I wish I'd found the time to converse with you more.

I sincerely hope that this is not a permanent goodbye, and that you feel like posting again. Never say never.

Perhaps just take an indefinite break? With a willingness to return when and if you feel like you want to contribute something?

By all means PM me if there is anything you'd wish to discuss about this forum or anything to do with the place.

Would hate to lose you.

But if this is farewell, I wish you all the best.

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glad1    533

Aww! :(

I go out of town a few days and come back only to find you gone. Since you've been here, I've seen the site become a more active and interesting place, so hope your absence is only temporary. I'm sure I'll not be the only one who'll miss your contributions. 

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expererg    190

This is so sad. I've just seen this. Why is it when something great seems to happen, it quickly and unexpectedly stops ? Your presence in this forum was great, and it was great to have you there, to discuss about so many things ! Hell, we even didn't have time to sort out how to see videos you did just for some of us... All of it suddenly lost, it feels wrong in a way, even if I respect your decision of course.

Hope to hear about you again someday, that was nice, and fun !

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Adyguy6970    85

I'm sorry that you're leaving us because there's nothing I love more than to see people here making worthwhile contributions.  However I fully respect your reasons whatever they may be.  Best wishes for the future!  

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ndr1968pz    22

I am...devastated, heartbroken...I feel a profound sadness and loss!  Spywareonya, I just now, had my first "conversations" with you ("Diuretics" thread) and now you are leaving?  I'm just going to say it:  PLEASE DON'T GO!!! 

I find your openness and honesty and willingness to share your personal feelings, thoughts and experiences so refreshing and rare.  I was looking forward to reading so much more from you but most of all I was looking forward to a warm and lasting friendship.  A thing very rare not only within this realm but in life in general.  I am just crushed!  Again, I implore you:   PLEASE DON'T GO!!.  Knowing you has just begun for me!  Please don't be so cruel!

I apologize if this comes off so needy but as I said, friendship like this is so precious and rare!

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spywareonya    700

Farewells not Always are forever, but you have to understand one thing.

Whenever I become part of a new place, I Always have in mind TWO very precise aims:

#1 change that place. Being a Witch is little about the occult, is more than anything else about discovering which scientifical/behavioural/"spiritual" truths we are living DETACHED FROM, to our own great self-damagin, out of ignorance or moralistic censorship. I do not push people to transgress in a plain way: I push people to discover some previously ignored, riddle-solving mind sets. And this is something I managed to do, indeed.

#2 share something (and here comes the pain)  WORTHY

 

When I have nothing really new or fascinating to share, I prefer to write nothing at all. And sincerely, I feel displeased when somebody that doesn't share my same honour-code obtains likes and appreciation, something which I have to say I noticed that had happened. What I mean is that there is a lot of differencies between "personal tastes" and "capability to recognize Worth, or lack of it". When I'm up to point #1 I never leave regardless of how many problems I encounter about point #2, but as soon as I finish about point #1, if problems about point #2 continue to happen, I quit. It's like having accomplished my mission, but don't feeling invited to the aftermath celebrations.

 

During the last days, many very personal posts of mine obtained little to no appreciation/following while people offering nothing special (not bad, but nothing special) was cheered like a king. That is something which really displeased me, NOT the fact that others got more likes/replies than me, but that I got too few. I felt left behind, and that coincided with me first person feeling that I #1 accomplished my task, which was my 80%, and #2 I was running out of something world-rocking to share. When I first started writing on this forum, nobody cared about me at all. There is even a story I posted which I consider hot as hell that got ZERO likes/replies. But I kept going. Why? Because I hadn't yet accomplished my mission. And because, meanwhile, I started to be appreciated. And I would return if such appreciation would show up again. But I like action. Feeling rocked. Tens of likes and replies per day. And I like honour. It's an honour to be surpassed in the "win the day" competition by titanic contributors like Zzyzx, Steve or Ozabot, or others of those heritage, I proudly kneel to their massive and daily-refreshing contributions. But I bow to nobody else. Competition is everything to me, and this goes in pair with the fact that having to answer to nothing more than a couple of likes/replies per day BORES me to death. 

I accomplished my task. VERY LITTLE would keep me here from now on. Only the satisfation of being rocked and crowned by a lot of likes/replies to answer, not only a lot, but actually more than less-deserving (careful, less-deserving, NOT un-deserving, nobody around here is undeserving) people. It's not about ego, not at all: it's about visceral passion, and the glory of swift answering/posting, the cheerfulness of celebration and triumph, like the drunk noise when your favourite sport-team wins.

It's NOT about defeating another competitor, though it cannot happen WITHOUT: can you understand this?

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Scot_Lover    514

You can't help the Christmas / New Year period, every forum will take a hit when everyone is on holiday. I have been down lately, due to the loss of a friend, and haven't been in here much. Does all these posts imploring you to return mean anything?  You are truly missed here, you made such an impression, is it a wonder that people want that feeling to continue?

You were so good here, the posts you made, the willingness to jump in to any conversation, your presence alone was a breath of fresh air. I know you need more than that, but that was the impression you made to everyone.

I miss you, I miss you being here, I miss the spirited conversations, know that much at least, ok?

 

Take care girl.

 

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Adyguy6970    85

spywareonya.  Thanks for sharing your reasons for leaving.  As someone who's been involved in a number of forums over the years I'm a seasoned veteran when it comes to wondering about the lack of feedback - or even some sort of response - to what I believed were well written posts.  Unfortunately people are what they are and one can't make them give reputation or respond to posts if they don't want to.  Were it possible to do so it would only be by interferring with their free will, something I would have big moral and ethical problems with.  An instinct for competition is healthy so far as it goes but we can't all win all of the time.  I found that one out a long time ago.  For what it's worth I would say that the essence of belonging to a forum was contributing and, if people want to show their appreciation by giving reputation or feedback, accept it with a good grace, but try not to attach a greater importance to that side of things than it merits.  

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ndr1968pz    22

Spywareonya, I'm sorry, I suppose I am guilty of not "supporting" you with the "like" button.  I am, by nature just the opposite of you.  I am almost totally non-competitive with other humans.  I do compete with animals as I have a passion for hunting and fishing, politically incorrect as that is now.  Frankly, I have never really thought much about the "like" button and have barely noted the points I or others have received or not.  This may be a character flaw, if so I apologize.  I find much more value in the conversations themselves.  The back and forth of communications between people.  The atmosphere of a group of like minded friends getting together to just talk and share fellowship, and yes, love!  For me, it's not about popularity but something much deeper.  That something is being allowed to share and to take what is shared by others in a spirit of total selflessness.  It's what friends do...no artificial reward necessary at the end.  I find the sharing and friendship reward enough in and of itself.  I still will miss you and still wish you would stay.  I promise to learn to use the button and vote for you (though you should understand that even though I have never voted for you, I love you as a friend just the same!!) 

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